


Evolution

by LadyLorena



Series: Brynja and Loki [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-07 14:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 72,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5460092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLorena/pseuds/LadyLorena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki meets someone he thought long dead while locked in Odin's dungeon. Easygoing and very patient, she is quite possibly the best thing for him in Asgard. When tempted with a future, Loki must decide just how much he can depend on her and how much he values their friendship. Rated T for mild sexuality, suicidal ideation, torture, and royal execution.</p>
<p>Originally posted in 2014 to fanfiction.net.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first few years of Loki's confinement had been the most difficult. He no longer kept track of the years, though, and while he guessed he had been imprisoned for at least a decade, the only numbers he was certain of were that it had been five years after his disastrous attempt to rule Asgard that this latest and longest imprisonment had started and that during that time, other than the guards who brought him food and the occasional new shirt and trousers, he had received precisely one guest, though said guest had visited multiple times. Only Thor checked in on the caged prince to make sure he was still breathing a few times a year and he did not visit because he cared, but because he needed to know that Loki was still contained if he was alive.

Those first few years had been spent in anger and resentment, conjuring up schemes to get out of his imprisonment and take vengeance on those who put him there. Plans, however, backfired when no one ever entered the cell and when even the mildly daft Thor never trusted that the Loki he saw was the real Loki and not an illusion. He turned his attention to the few books that had been left in his cell, sent there by his mother as her last act of love for him. He read them so often that the pages became fragile and separated from the spine, so often that the plots were more ingrained in his memory than even the faces of the people he once knew. He begged his brother for more to read on his short visits, but Odin refused to let most of Asgard's library venture into Loki's cell and Thor was left with little option but to ask Jane what Midgardian books were suitable to bring back for his brother. Loki embraced the new stories without hesitation.

It was somewhere around his fifth year confined that he stopped counting days and keeping track of time. This was also around the same time that he read The Book- the story that Jane warned Thor he would either love or hate. The story that Made Him Think. The book he would read over and over again until the pages fell out of the tattered paperback and he lovingly paced them back in their places each time.

Hamlet. The crown prince who never saw the throne, who acted on faith that the ghost of his father would lead him to the truth, who acted out of anger and pain and vengeance. Loki found a character who, on some level or another, he could understand. He dissected every word. He begged Thor for more of the stories of Shakespeare and the few times Thor remembered his request, he brought him Macbeth, King Lear, and A Midsummer Night's Dream. Loki devoured the words as though his life depended on it. In a way, it did.

As he sat re-reading Macbeth for at least the tenth time, his pencil notated pages barely legible through his cramped handwriting, an unfamiliar visitor approached his cell. He glanced up from his book and barely noticed that it was not Thor before nearly dropping the book in surprise.

The figure was clad in a long purple robe belted above the waist, the body clearly female, her face covered by a deep hood, only her mouth and chin visible. Even her hands were hidden from view, clasped together in front of her, shielded by long sleeves.

"Come to gape at the caged animal?" when no response came, he continued, his voice hoarse, barely above a whisper. Years of no one to talk to kept him quiet even when he had a visitor, "And you are...?"

"I come with a message from the Witch."

Loki sat up a little straighter and set his book aside. The Witch was legendary. Everyone heard of her one way or another, but no one ever saw her. There had been speculation that Frigga had been the Witch, but messages and interventions came from the Witch long after Frigga's death. Others thought it was surely Freyja behind the Witch stories, but she steadfastly insisted she had nothing to do with the messages and little miracles that sprang up in Asgard when the need was most dire.

"And what message do you have from the Witch?"

"Queen Frigga, lives."

Loki scrambled to his feet, "How? Where is she? Can I see her?"

The woman said nothing as she left. Loki paced his cell, restless and frantic, trying to think just how the woman all of Asgard saw sent into the next world, everyone but him, was living. He could come to no conclusion other than that the Witch was playing a cruel joke and hated him as much as everyone else did. He sank to the floor, picked back up his book, and softly cried behind the pages, an illusion carefully in place to make sure no one could see his grief. Of all the things that he had hardened himself against, reminders of Frigga's death and Odin's refusal to let him attend her funeral still deeply stung.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The woman in purple heard Loki's questions but knew she was not to answer them. She paused as she turned the corner, finally out of sight of his cell. It was cruel not to comfort him, not to tell him that it was true and she would prove it to him. She was under orders, though, sworn not to speak more than she had to.

After making sure no one was watching, she slipped into a hidden passage in the wall and continued her journey through the palace unseen. She threw her hood back and sighed as she wound her way through walls, up narrow stairways, and past hidden chambers in the ceilings and floors. She shook out her tightly curled hair, letting it fly around her, free from the hood. This was her world, the world she lived in when she did not escape Asgard for Midgard, fleeing her confinement to a world she could more fully be a part of.

Of course, Midgard had not always been easy to navigate, but her first visit came during Midgard's 1920s and she had thoroughly enjoyed herself. She'd spent a short time in speakeasies and on the arms of gangsters before returning home to Asgard, where no one had seemed to have missed her.

She finally reached the chamber she wanted and entered quietly, waiting to be addressed before giving her report, "Has he been told?"

She bowed, "Yes he has."

Frigga stepped from the shadows, her face crossed with worry, "How did he take it? Did it go better than it might have since it came from the Witch?"

"No, Mother, it would have been better if you had just told him yourself. He put up a good illusion, but he was deeply hurt when I walked away without answering him."

Frigga sighed, "Brynja, you know I can't do that."

Brynja would have shouted if she did not think those on the other side of the walls might hear her, "Why not? If he thinks this is a lie, I'll lose the chance to deliver any other messages to him. And do you know how much effort I had to put into keeping him alive before he was imprisoned?"

Frigga slumped in a chair, "So how do we fix this?"

"Do what you should have done in the first place- reveal yourself to Asgard. It's been over fifteen years since your death. Father sits alone on the throne while Thor spends as much of his time as he can with his lover in Midgard. I'm sick of just watching the world pass me by- you're not going to simply join me in seclusion in the walls now that you're back."

Frigga thought on what Brynja had said, "You kept him alive?"

She nodded, "Loki did some incredibly stupid things in the years after your death. Things here and abroad. I've been using Witchery to make sure he survives, though I'm fairly sure Father would rather I have just let him die. Thank goodness Father doesn't know everything I do or I'd probably be in a cell, too."

Frigga rose gracefully, "I don't suppose my dressing chamber is easily accessed from the walls?"

Brynja nodded, "Follow me. Father hasn't touched it since your death."

Frigga's return shocked the realm, most of all Loki, who received another visit from Brynja, still hooded, to herald the Queen's visit. Frigga knelt by her adopted son's cage and wept. Brynja stood silently by, acting the handmaiden, waiting for Frigga to return to the throne room where Odin anxiously awaited her return so he could very publicly escort her to a feast in her honour. A feast Brynja knew she would not be permitted to attend.

Instead of returning to the walls as the feast started, Brynja stole a flask of wine from the kitchen and made her way back down to the cells with a stool she had filched from the library. She kept her face covered, just as she had been told she always must while travelling through the palace halls.

When she arrived in front of Loki's cell, she set down the stool and sat down, leaning against the barrier as it solidified with her touch, and took a long swig from the flask, "You aren't the only guest not invited to this feast."

Loki stared at her, trying to figure out why she seemed vaguely familiar with him, "Do I know you?"

She nodded and removed her hood, "What the hell, who are you going to tell, my father?"

He tried to place her, but could not, "I'm sorry, perhaps you know me, but-"

Brynja interrupted him, "I've been under that damn hood since I grew curves. 'Special cautionary measure for important girls' or some shit. I doubt you'd remember me." She tossed back the flask and took a long drink.

"You talk like a Midgardian."

"Spent a lot of time there. Got sick of living in the walls."

Loki was still quite confused, "You are from my childhood?"

"Yours and Thor's."

"Do you have a name?" Loki asked.

"Brynja."

Loki's eyes grew wide as a distant memory of an older playmate surfaced, "I thought you were dead."

She smiled, "Seems to be a theme around here lately. No, not dead, but hidden away."

Loki laughed, something he had only done for his books for many years, "We played together as children, didn't we? I remember being very small and climbing a tree on a hill with quite a lot of help, but not long later you disappeared. What happened?"

Brynja shrugged, "It's a long story.

Loki countered, "This will be a long feast."

She took a deep breath, "Father has some funny ideas about daughters. He figures we're just for marrying off, not for putting on thrones or raising like warriors. I went into seclusion, living in the tunnels in the walls, the house within the house. He didn't want anyone getting any ideas of courtship, me included, until he found me a suitable match, and Thor's friends were starting to notice me. I've been raised to be a woman in the walls, like so many other hidden sisters, daughters, and wives of Asgard. I ran away to Midgard for freedom. Father wasn't happy, but Mother understood. You can't keep a good Witch down."

Realising Loki was smart enough to put the pieces together and she had just revealed one of Asgard's biggest secrets, she swore, "Damn! If you ever tell anyone, I'll tan your hide. Nobody knows who the Witch is, got it?"

Loki considered saying yes and meaning no, but he realised that if anyone could have brought back Frigga, it was the Witch, and if Brynja was really the legendary Witch, she could probably kill him even from outside the cell and he'd never get any warning that his death was coming, "Of course. Nobody, not even me.". He thought for a moment before asking his next question, "Why are you here? No one visits the Traitor."

Brynja smiled and whispered, "I'm a wall woman, Loki- it's not like I have an active social life. I've been watching you think and read for years. You've been an unknowing companion for over a decade. I thought it time we finally meet, maybe celebrate Frigga's return together."

Loki raised a water goblet on his side of the cell and she matched it with her flask, "Let's drink to hope, then Brynja. Hope that our futures aren't yet dead."

She clinked her flask against his cell barrier and he did the same, "Aye, to hope."

After they drank, he jumped to another question, "So...know any good stories? I know this one about a prince with a murdered father who trusts the wrong voices."

Brynja nodded, "Ooooh, and I know this one about a guy who lives in an opera house basement!"

Loki beamed, "Can I tell mine first?"

She shrugged, "Sure! Like you said, this is going to be one long feast."

 


	3. Chapter 3

Loki sat alone for weeks after Brynja's visit during the feast. He received letters from his mother, the paper carrying the residual scent of her floral perfume. He wondered how to write to Brynja, but did not think a woman hidden in the walls could be found by his guards, nor did he know if she was even permitted to receive letters, or, for that matter, whose walls she primarily lived in. He waited, he read, and he sometimes asked if she could hear him or was watching. He gave up after a while, figuring that, like everyone else, she'd found a reason to stay away.

Her visit, however, had conjured memories from childhood of climbing one specific tree on a hill with a girl who had disappeared when he was very young, much to his confusion. He could not even recall which family she belonged to. He mostly remembered her lifting him, still very small, onto the lowest branch of the tree, a branch that, at the time, had seemed unimaginably high off the ground, and waiting for her to join him, his small hands gripping the tree trunk to keep from falling as she pulled herself up. He remembered the chill from the spring breeze and cuddling close to her as he looked out from his new vantage point, amazed at how things looked from so high up.

Months later, Brynja returned for another visit. She was once again draped in her purple robe, but as before, she sat down against his cell and tore off the hood. She looked tired.

"Brynja. It's been a while."

She nodded, "Too damn long. I tried to send you stuff, but Father wouldn't let me- seems he thought a draught of mead and the plays of Sophocles were an inappropriate gift."

Loki raised his eyebrows, "The plays of who?"

"Sophocles. Midgardian playwrite, Greek, really ancient. The trilogy I've got starts off with a man who kills an old guy on the road, marries a queen, and discovers some pretty crazy stuff about his family after years and years of being king. Unfortunately, the story also involves patricide and suicide, as well as self-blinding, so I guess Father thought it would give you ideas or something. The second two plays aren't any happier. I tried to tell him that if you were going to commit patricide, it would have been  _before_  you were in a box in the cellars, but that didn't convince him."

"So what has kept you away?"

Brynja rolled her eyes, "Ugh...I keep having to save the asses of people who don't know I'm saving their asses- Thor asked me to ask the Witch to keep his Avenger friends in Midgard safe. I'm all like, 'Dude, you're in Midgard, do it yourself' but he gets all flattery and talks about how it's stuff only the Witch can do and since I know the Witch, can I pass the message along? Well, you know, maybe I'm sick of keeping the man in the metal suit from falling off things and killing himself or making sure everyone shooting at the man with the star on his chest has terrible aim. Miraculous survival doesn't seem so miraculous when it happens all the time and they're never going to learn they can die if I keep saving their asses. I haven't had to save the one who turns green, he does fine on his own. And that scientist you messed with- I keep nudging him away from finding other things that will open portals- he's been too close too many times- of course, he's slipped my watch here and there, but I do the best I can, you know?"

Loki chuckled, "Why would you keep doing this over and over again? You are a slave to Thor and his ill-lucked Avengers and you keep saying yes. It seems ridiculously stupid to continue to allow yourself to be their lackey."

She shook her head, "It's not that simple, Loki. You've always done just whatever you want- even after all the shit you've pulled, you were just tossed in the cell, thanks to Mother. After her death, the memory of her kept you alive- one last favour for the Queen. If I step out of line, do I get to just say no? Of course not. I'm always threatened with marriage or exile if I do. I have to walk a very long way away- say, to Midgard- to avoid either of those. Which I  _have_  done, but the bigger the transgression, the longer I have to stay away. There's a reason I spent nearly two decades in Midgard over their 1960s and 1990s, a few trips over that time. I mean, the drugs were fantastic, but I didn't spend that long in the realm just to get high. Mother doesn't approve of the whole marriage or exile thing, of course, but Father's got his ways- can't have a misbehaving woman coming out of the walls and ruining his house now, can he?"

She stopped to breathe, having ranted without taking a break, and Loki realised that, in a way, she was jealous of him, "You resent this place."

"No shit."

He thought for a moment, "What would you do to leave it?"

Brynja stared at him, "If you're suggesting that I spring you and we run off to Midgard together, you're even crazier than they say you are."

Amused, he said, "You're a quick one, Brynja," he paused and his smile faded, "They?"

"Yep, they. Everybody who still talks about you, except for probably Mother, says you went nuts because you couldn't handle your big brother being king."

He leaned back against the wall and sighed, "Of course they do. And what do you think?"

She poked at the barrier at the front of the cell, "I think there's a lot deeper mess in that head of yours than just being a nutcase. Jealousy? Sure. A feeling of familial neglect and pent-up rage? Of course. The belief that you are never good enough and continual comparison of yourself to Thor and Father? Damn straight. A sense that if the world is unjust, there is no sense being just? Yep, that one, too. You were, at least the last time you were out of here, ambitious, proud, stubborn, and felt like there was nothing left to lose- a very dangerous combination." Brynja brushed back her hair, "I'm good at this, I should have been a therapist. I'd have work until the end of time just in Asgard, we're all so screwed up."

Loki watched her. He wondered how long she had been watching him to have him so well figured out.

"Brynja, tell me this- do you remember when Odin brought me to Asgard?"

"Clear as a summer sky, Loki."

"And what did they say about me?"

"Thor thought it was so cool to have a little brother. He would tell people so very proudly and when they expressed surprise, asking where you came from, Thor would look confused for a moment, shrug, and happily tell them he didn't care that you were adopted, he had a baby brother! Of course, it wasn't long before his impatience for you to grow up took over and he went off to play mostly with his friends, but he still cuddled you in the evenings and curled up with you against Mother. It was very sweet. I watched Mother handle you so gently, just as she did with us, and I knew you  _were_  one of us, even if I didn't understand entirely where you came from. Father was, as usual, rather distant, in the child-rearing, but he did take an interest in teaching you both. He just had no idea what to do when it came to feeding us, or how to play, or when we needed to change our clothes. You were treated well, Loki, and deeply loved, until you started to ask questions about who would get to be king of Asgard. It was then that Father backed off. I saw far more once I was living in the walls."

Loki was confused, "Brynja, you've been speaking this whole time as though our families are the same...who  _are_  you?"

Brynja's hands flew to cover her mouth, "Oh my god, you don't remember, do you?" Loki shook his head, "I'm Odin and Frigga's only daughter...you must have been too little to understand who I was when I was locked away. I'm so sorry, I thought you knew."

Loki started to speak again when Brynja heard a door open in the distance and tossed her hood back up, scurrying to her feet, "Until we meet again..." she said, giving a short bow as she hurried back out the way she had came.

Loki sat down on his bed and stared at where she had been standing, "A somewhat sister?" he asked out-loud, wondering if a completely unrelated person could really be a sibling if one never felt a family bond to them. After much thought, he decided he would rather keep her as a possible friend, rather than family. It would be easier to stay angry at Odin and Thor that way.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Four months passed before Brynja escorted Frigga again to Loki's cell for another visit. Frigga stood back from the cell so it was easier to look up at Loki. He stood formally in front of her, his hands behind him.

"Hello, Loki, are you well today?" Frigga asked.

Loki nodded, "Yes, thank you. Yourself?"

Frigga replied, "Fine, Loki. I am getting used to all the business of being Queen once again. The days seem longer now and I believe I appreciate them a bit more."

Loki sighed, "I wish I could say the same. The days seem longer, but they seem to drag on endlessly without reason. I often wish for the release of death over this drudgery."

Frigga pursed her lips, "Your decisions led you here; you could have made them differently."

"Life in a cell was not my decision, as I would rather a quick execution to waiting for death, nor was the loneliness that preceded my actions. Perhaps I would have been a different person had I not felt so alone for so much of my life- the only man in Asgard who was not a proper warrior, only a cheap illusionist with no one my own age to share my discoveries with. Why did no one tell me that Brynja was alive? Even after I was grown?" Loki asked.

Frigga glanced to the side where Brynja stood with her head bowed, her hood over her eyes, still as a statue, "I doubt knowing she was living would have changed your choices, Loki. Odin thought telling you would only create more questions. Given who I now know you to be, I think his decision wise. You would have only turned against him earlier, seeing her confinement only as unfair without understanding why he did what he did."

Loki sighed, "Perhaps, and yet I still cannot see reason in his decision. If it is because she was coming of age, it seems a better course of action to teach the men of this land to respect her heart rather than to compete for it, thus leading to her confinement."

Frigga raised an eyebrow, "I did not expect such a noble suggestion from you, Loki. It seems you must have spoken to her on the matter?"

Loki nodded, hoping he was not going to make Brynja more likely to flee to Midgard by having the conversation, "I have. A gilded cage is still a cage. My confinement may be justified. Hers does not seem to be. She is a strong willed woman, much like her queen."

Frigga smiled, "Then I can understand her frustration at her situation and why she would seek your company. There are few in this realm who would, but my daughter has a defiant streak that frustrates her father to no end...given that I, too, have been strongly dissuaded from visiting and yet here I still am, I see she has learned this lesson from me quite well. Do not worry for Brynja, Loki. While she has not been free here, her father has never sought to restrict her movements to other realms. She has freedom in other places and seeks her happiness there. She has often found it, and there were journeys I was surprised she returned from at all." There was a clattering on the stairs and Frigga heard her name called by one of the guards, "Excuse me, Loki. I am needed in my queenly duties." She turned to go and Brynja followed in silence. Frigga turned to her, "Brynja, why don't you stay here for a while? If you have been visiting, it seems only reasonable that you spend a little time with your companion while you are already here. I do not need your attendance this afternoon."

Brynja bowed, "Thank you." Frigga left. Brynja sat down on her stool, her face still covered.

Loki knelt down beside her, "I hope I did not overstep my bounds."

"Were that Father instead of Mother, I would say that you did. Mother, however, has not always been comfortable with Father's decision, so I think you did well to speak to her. Perhaps she will see that you're thinking of others and take that as a sign you are growing," Brynja answered.

Loki bent down, trying to see her eyes, "Then why are you still hiding under your hood, Brynja?"

She sighed and pulled it back, "Sorry, habit, I suppose. I'm not used to having anyone stand up for me like you just did. It's a little uncomfortable, but I'm very grateful. Thank you."

He smiled, "Well if we are to be friends, it only seems right that I speak out for you."

She smiled back, "I've asked Father once or twice about you, but he's very set that you will die in this cell. I don't like his answers, but I fear that if I push very hard, I'm going to end up having to run away again. I'm tired of running, Loki. I want to be free  _here_."

Loki sighed, "Brynja, can I ask you something?"

"Anything, Loki. The worst I can do is tell you I can't answer," she replied.

He continued, "I've been thinking about Mother...and with her visit today, I think the question even more prudent..." his voice trailed off as though he did not want to ask his question.

She prodded, "What do you need to ask?"

"Did she suffer?" he asked, his voice breaking as he spoke.

Brynja placed a hand on the barrier at his shoulder, "No one told you that, either?"

"No, no one told me what happened. I've heard bits and pieces, but the only thing that the guard said was that she was dead. I was told nothing else. I asked Thor the same question and he told me he was not here to share sorrow, but to offer revenge. I have been told nothing of her death."

Brynja sighed, "No, she didn't. It was quick."

"You are certain?" he asked.

"I watched, Loki. I was hidden, as I had promised I would be, and I saw the entire thing. Mother defended Jane, she hid her and she fought to keep her hidden, casting an illusion of Jane that Malekith thought was real to keep him away from the real girl. Mother even had the upper hand until Malekith's...creature entered the fight and dragged her from his master, picking her up by the neck from behind. When Mother said she would never tell where the girl was, he said he believed her and the...whatever he was...slid the knife into her back. She was dead before she hit the floor. Thor tried to chase them down and failed. As if that wasn't heart-wrenching enough, watching Father drop to the floor and cradle her lifeless body made it all the worse."

"And you could do nothing?" Loki asked.

Brynja shook her head, "No. Mother made me promise long ago that should the city come under siege, I wouldn't do anything to reveal that there were people hiding in the walls. It's not just me at stake- most of the city's women know how to get into the walls and since many are not trained to fight, they retreat there with their children. I swore to protect them however I could, and Malekith would have known that someone was hiding had I done anything."

"And her funeral?" he asked, "Was it as regal as I imagine?"

"Yes...she was sent off first, a warrior queen, her pyre enchanted to sail beyond the edge of the sea," she answered.

Loki leaned on the barrier, "Thank you, Brynja. I have spent years hoping she felt little pain. That she was not tortured to death or left to writhe in agony."

She brushed her fingers on the barrier where his cheek rested, wishing she could touch him and comfort him, "No, it was quick. She felt little, if anything at all."

He leaned forward and rested his head on his knees in his arms. His body shuddered once before he went still and looked up, staring ahead at nothing. Brynja knew it was an illusion.

She let him have it for a moment, but then said, "Loki, drop the glamour."

"The what?" he asked.

"The glamour- the illusion. I can see it- Witchery and all that. I know you're hiding behind it," she replied.

Loki let the illusion fall, tears in his eyes, and replied bitterly, "Do you like this better?"

Brynja shook her head, "It isn't about  _like_ , Loki. It's about that if I am to get to know you, I want to get to know _you_ \- the truth of you, every inch, whether easy to see or not."

He sighed, "Then you will. And you will probably not like what you see and you will flee."

She shrugged, "Or maybe I will understand you all the better and be able to embrace you more fully. I'd rather see you in the raw than find out later you were hiding things from me."

"You are an odd one, Brynja," he replied, "and I like you more for it."

She smiled and slipped her hood back up as someone came down the stairs, "Good, Loki, because I quite enjoy our time together." She stood up and disappeared into the walls as Loki put his glamour back in place so the guards would not bother him while he sorted out his thoughts about Frigga's death and his blossoming friendship with Brynja.


	5. Chapter 5

It was half a year before Brynja made her way back down to Loki's cell, though she did make an attempt to write regularly, sending him little stories, retellings of Midgardian fairy tales and folklore. She had been carrying on extensive conversations with her parents to try to find out just what Loki's fate would be, or at least if she could visit him face-to-face at some point. Her discussions almost always ended in someone yelling at someone else and the expectation that she would return, silently, to the walls from which she had come and the topic would not be brought up again. Thanks to Frigga, however, it nearly always was. The queen had managed to visit Loki a few times in the half-year, hoping that he would at least be happy to see her. Brynja had been forbidden to visit, so she sent her letters with her mother when she could.

Brynja did not like being told who she could or could not visit, though, and the tensions between her and Odin were getting worse. Her last conversation with her parents had been particularly explosive, with her father threatening to banish her from the realm if she asked about Loki's freedom again. Her mother had been visibly pained by this prospect and begged her to leave the room, retreat to the walls, and to let the subject rest. Brynja had retreated under duress and, once she reached her room, dressed in Midgardian clothes and begun to pack. Midgard would be more friendly than Asgard and, once again, she was ready to flee, but not before one more visit to the only companion she had in the realm. Late that night, she looked over her books and pulled a few from the shelf before she tossed on her long black coat, heaved her duffel bag over her shoulder, and headed for his confinement.

When she arrived, the cell was dark, so she tapped on the outside, hoping to wake Loki without drawing the attention of the guards. She began to panic, wondering how else to pass along his books. She tapped again and waited. No answer. She wedged the books between her knees, placed both hands against the barrier, it solidifying as she touched it, and concentrated as she whispered his name. He stirred in bed. She tried again and he turned over. Once more, she whispered and this time, he awoke and looked her direction, confused by the haze of sleep. When he saw her, he stumbled from the bed and stood close to the barrier.

"Brynja. What's wrong?"

"What gave it away that something's wrong?"

Loki shrugged, exaggeratedly, "Oh, the whole middle of the night bit gave me just a touch of a hint." He touched the barrier where one of her hands was still resting, "Tell me what's going on."

Brynja's heart was heavy as she held up the books, "I came to make sure you got these. There's a note with them. When the guards come with breakfast, they'll see the instructions. Mother will check to be sure you get them."

Loki still did not quite understand what was happening, "Brynja, please, explain things a little more clearly. I'm not quite so nimble-minded at this hour."

"I've got to get out of here. Father's told me I can't visit you anymore because I ask too many questions. He's threatened to banish me from the realm if I keep asking about you. It's better than the threat of marrying me off, but I'm leaving for Midgard tonight. I don't know when I'll see you again."

Loki's face fell, "Please don't leave; Thor has stopped visiting. Mother barely comes here and when she does, all she does is cry. You've been quite a breath of fresh air for someone who no longer gets to feel the sunlight."

She nodded, "I know, and I hate to do this, but I know what happens next. Things have gone to shit between Father and I and it only gets worse from here. I've done this a lot. I'll be back. Maybe when I come back, Mother will have convinced Father that you're not a danger to me and I can come in to visit you there in the cell."

Loki scoffed, "Unlikely. Odin would like to see me rot alone."

"I get that, but Mother's the one who told him tonight that the conversation about you was far from over and she  _would_  be bringing the subject up again, whether I was there to hear it or not. Mother's in your corner. Trust her."

"Oh, I do, Brynja. I do." Loki sighed, "Please come back before too long?"

Brynja set the books down in front of his cell, "I'll do my best. Hang in there, Loki. I'm not giving up on you yet." She kissed her fingertips and pressed them against the barrier where his hand still rested before heading off to leave Asgard. Loki watched her go and wondered just why he dreaded not having her in Asgard, even though he never knew when she was going to visit. He went back to bed with no answers to his question and a definite feeling that were he ever to try to decieve her, he would probably feel badly for having done it. It was the same way he felt when he thought about lying to Frigga, though he also supposed that with Brynja being the legendary Witch, she would quite possibly flay him alive if he ever did deceive her. He wasn't entirely convinced, though, that his aversion to lying to Brynja was based entirely on fear. There was something about this friendship that he was starting to value.

The next morning, Loki saw four books sitting next to his breakfast, A Study in Scarlet, Songs of Innocence and Experience, The Phantom of the Opera, and The Complete Poetry of Robert Burns. He opened a book before he touched his breakfast.


	6. Chapter 6

When Brynja landed in London, she realised that Heathrow was a bit different than she remembered, but she was quite thankful that the Underground looked relatively similar to the way it had when she had visited over a decade before. Stepping out of the station she was bathed in sunlight and the warmth of a summer's day. She smiled, enjoying the feeling of the light on her skin, and looked at the address Thor had given her the last time he had briefly visited Asgard. She hailed a cab, relayed the address, and hoped she'd written it down right.

Upon arriving at the high rise apartment building, she found her way upstairs and knocked on the door she thought was the right one.

Thor answered the door, "Brynja! It's been a long time- what brings you to Midgard?"

Brynja shrugged, "Same thing that always does- I pissed off Father again. This time he threatened to kick me out of Asgard instead of just marrying me to someone, so I figure that's an improvement."

Thor laughed, "Ah, Sister, do come in. Meet Jane!" Brynja tossed her duffel bag near the door and went in to meet Jane. When Thor asked where she was staying, Brynja just shrugged and Jane invited her to spend some time with them until she could find her own place. She accepted the offer and sat down to talk to her half-brother.

"So, how has life been in Asgard, Sister?"

"Mother's back."

Thor went silent, trying to comprehend what she had said, "Excuse me?"

"Mother's back. Witch did some Witchy things and Mother showed up again. It's been crazy trying to get everything back to normal. I spent entire year getting her readjusted to being alive and acting the handmaiden, all still while being a wall woman, which is stupidly boring. Oh, you can be the Queen's handmaiden, but you still have to live out of sight and cover yourself in a long hooded cloak because MEN."

Thor chuckled, "Well, Sister, you know that part is nothing new. Has Mother adjusted well?"

Brynja nodded, "Of course, with grace and dignity, like she always adjusted to change. She's been down to see Loki very little, though. Writes him letters, but I think she's only seen him once or twice. It breaks her heart to see him caged, and even more-so because she knows Father is only letting her see him because she was dead for so long. If she hadn't been gone, Loki would have been out of her life long ago."

Thor shook his head, "Loki is not deserving of her mercy."

"Maybe not, but he's still her son. You know she's never changed what she feels in her heart for him, even with all he's done. You remember her mourning after he fell from the Bifrost, right? And how she cried after she heard what he'd done in New York? Or how heartbroken she was when Father forbid her from seeing him at all after he was imprisoned? To her, he's still the little boy with the skinned knees who tried so hard to keep up with his big brother, hoping for approval from the older kids and hoping to join their adventures."

"Does she know what he did after her death?"

"I told her what I knew. Freyja told her of your revenge. Father told her what he has seen, but you know his perspective is a little different on the whole thing."

Thor sighed, "And Loki is still alive?"

"I saw him before I came here- dropped off a few more books. He was alive then." Brynja sighed, "Thor, he's still your brother. I know you think it's useless to visit him and you've written him out of your life, but I think it's better for him to have someone to talk to than to leave him entirely on his own."

Thor put the pieces together, "You've been visiting him."

"When I can. Otherwise I write."

"And let me guess, that is what has angered Father and brought you to Midgard."

"Sort of. My needling about his future didn't help. Mother's curious, too, but she's got more tact than I do. I haven't been here in a decade anyway, it was time for a visit."

He shook his head, "Sister, be careful with Loki. He is not as kind as he seems. His flattery will only be used so he can free himself and then he will throw you away like he has so many others."

Brynja shrugged, "He's not the first flatterer I've dealt with, Thor. I've dated a lot of them, some of those guys I should have run from, some who were big on the using and throwing away thing. I can cut through his bullshit pretty well and I'm not afraid to call him on it. My past isn't as virginal as Father seems to think it is."

Jane brought out tea and the conversation shifted to Jane and Thor's life in Midgard and all the changes that had come and gone in the world since Brynja's previous visit a decade before.


	7. Chapter 7

A year passed before Brynja, living in a neat little Kensington flat, got a letter from Thor that he was going back to Asgard while Jane did some intensive travelling related to her research. She packed her bag and readied herself to travel home as well, hoping that her father had cooled his temper and would not immediately decide he needed to find a good matchmaker.

When she stepped off the Bifrost, she felt a slight chill and knew at once that something wasn't quite the way she had left it. She sighed, realising that it meant she was back to Witching and there was nothing to be done about it. The year in Midgard had been relatively uneventful in that regard, neither the man in the metal suit nor the man with the star on his chest getting into much trouble. Both, apparently, had opted for a quiet year.

With her duffel bag slung over her shoulder, she strode into the palace, her heeled boots thudding on the shining tiles. She was dressed defiantly, or what her father would consider defiantly- black jeans, black blouse, black boots, and a black leather jacket. She had cut her hair off at her chin and pinned it back behind her ears to show off the multiple gemmed studs that trailed up her lobe, along the outer cartilage, and the little black star in her tragus. She felt more at home in her skin in Midgard than Asgard.

She followed the chill in her spine down corridors she rarely walked undraped and found herself turning the corner to the cells. A conversation, and a heated one at that, was coming from ahead and she recognised the speaker instantly.

"Little Brother, Jane is mortal and her life short compared to ours. Even after her death, I will know exactly where you are and how to find you. We will have years more than Jane and I will have. And I'm not entirely certain there's anything left of my brother in you, so what would have brought me to visit? You who betrayed my father, you who stole the throne for your own ends, why would I have come to see you?"

The response was clearly angry, though the voice hoarse from disuse, "A year, Thor, since I have had a visitor. A year! Not even Mother!" Brynja stepped into view of the cells in time to see Loki angrily fling a stack of letters off his desk, "Oh, she writes prettily enough, but it's too much bother to come and actually speak to me face to face. She says she cares, but it feels false. And here you come, acting as though nothing has changed in either of us, as though this imprisonment hasn't changed anything in me, that I am worthless because I was trying to live up to the lie I was always told. I don't know what Mother sees in me- I don't know if she is here out of pity or love, but the few times she visits, she weeps as though I have killed myself and she has nothing to visit here but an empty shell, a grave."

Brynja interrupted their conversation, "Loki, just stop about Mother, OK? She's a strong reason why you're alive. Father forbade her from seeing you after I pissed him off and she backed me up- she's under the same strict orders she was when you came back after New York and she won't break them until she's sure she can get away with it. It's no different than what he did the first time he locked you up. He let her see you a few times after her resurrection because she'd been dead and he felt he had to, now we're back to normal. Writing was her only option."

Loki's anger momentarily faltered, but it rose again as he snapped his attention to Thor, "That still doesn't excuse HIM. My brother has disowned me, thrown me away, just like everyone else, even the so-called father who saved me from death only to discard me when I turned out a monster, true to the nature of my birth."

She sighed, "Loki, I understand why you're angry- you're hurt and lonely and it's OK to be pissed off. Don't forget to be angry at me, too, though- I was gone an entire year because I can't handle conflict with my father."

"At least you've tried, Brynja. You've made an effort to treat me like I'm worth at least  _something_  as I am," he sat down on the bed and turned his back on the barrier.

Brynja looked between Loki and Thor, "I really need to get some sleep, guys, so if this isn't going to get anywhere, I'd really like to not stay here to referee."

Thor held up his hands, "I am here until Loki wishes me gone. If my visit is not welcome, I will leave."

Loki ignored his presence and picked up a book, burying his face in it, "Goodbye, then, Thor." Thor followed Brynja out. He glanced over his shoulder. He briefly locked eyes with Loki before Loki's eyes darted back to his book, pretending he hadn't been watching them leave.

Thor followed Brynja as she opened the passage in the wall, "Well that went better than expected."

Brynja led him to her room and tossed her duffel bag on the floor, "Yeah, probably the best you could have hoped for. He'll cool off in a few days and you might be able to talk to him then."

"Might?"

"You know how angry he gets. After the angry comes the 'nobody likes me' phase where he refuses to talk to anyone because he feels either like he's unworthy of our presence or we're unworthy of his, depending on the argument that preceded. Eventually he decides maybe we're sincere and sulks a little, but lets us sit with him and then a few days later he might laugh at a joke and then pretend it didn't happen because, you know, he's still mad."

Thor chuckled, "And did you learn that pattern in childhood, Sister? Has he changed so little since he was a toddler?"

She shrugged, "No, mostly by watching you boys grow up. You get pretty bored living in the walls. You start to watch people just for entertainment. Training sessions, sibling interactions you aren't allowed to be a part of, you know, all that fun stuff. I learned how siblings were supposed to behave by watching you two and how friendship worked from watching you, Sif, Volstagg, Hogan, and Fandral." She paused and turned to Thor, "Didn't you ever talk about me to him? He thought I was dead all these years."

Thor shook his head, "Father said I wasn't to bring up what happened to you. He said Loki was too young to understand, it would just upset him. By the time he was old enough, his thoughts had turned to the crown. And by the time I started visiting you in the walls, Loki had fallen...both from the Bifrost and out of my life."

Brynja tossed herself on the bed, "I know, but I'm still mildly irked that you first thought to visit me when you though he was dead. I'm glad somebody told me, sure, but you couldn't have stopped by before then? Brought me a sandwich and a beer once in a while?"

He bowed his head, "I'm sorry, Brynja. I should not have left you hidden for so long."

"Apology accepted, Brother. Now in a day or so, go talk to Loki. Give him a reason to listen, and you know that he'll hear you out eventually. Probably won't like you for it, but he'll pay attention."

Thor gave a quick nod, "I should go see Mother and Father. I have not for more than a moment since my return. Take care, dear Sister, and do not get yourself in trouble with either Loki or Father."

As he left, Brynja waved and grinned, "Oh, Thor, darling, if you think that's possible, I've got a bridge to sell you!"

Brynja gave Loki two days to cool down before she visited his cell. When she arrived, he was reading, as usual, the letters he had cast on the floor stacked neatly on his desk. She peeked at the cover.

"Blake. How are you liking that one?"

Loki did not set the book down, "Better than the Burns. I'm sure he's a fine poet, but the language is hard to get past and the guards stare when I try to read out loud."

She nodded, "He's tricky, but once you get the hang of his language, quite fun. Maybe I'll read him to you someday. How has this year been? From our conversation the other day, I'd guess lonely is one way to describe it?"

Loki still did not look up from his book, "No visitors. I can recite the Holmes book you left. It's a quick read, especially once you've read it a dozen times."

"I'm sorry it took so long to get back. It usually takes at least a year for Father to cool down enough after I've pissed him off that much. I'll try not to needle him again...though it is nice to know you'll understand my sarcasm the next time I say 'no shit, Sherlock'."

He shrugged and turned the page, "You do what you must, Brynja."

She sat down on her stool, leaning against the outer wall of his cell and folded the skirts of her long purple robes around her, "So is this the 'I'm not worthy of your company and nobody likes me' phase or are you into the 'others might be tolerable, but I'm not sure yet' phase?"

He finally looked away from his page, over the top of the book, "What?"

"You go through different phases when you're pissed at someone. We're obviously past the 'I hate you all' stage, since you're talking to me, but the book being used as a shield so you don't have to look at me suggests you might still be in the 'nobody likes me' stage...but you haven't insisted I go away yet, so maybe we're on the cusp of 'you aren't completely horrible'."

Loki stared at her, "You have far too much time on your hands to have watched enough to figure that out."

"You spend enough time in walls, you get kind of bored," Brynja replied.

Loki chuckled, amused, "I think you're tolerable. I'm still very angry at Thor."

"Oooo, advanced phases of Loki emotions- we're onto two different stages for two different people! This is progress!" Brynja grinned at him through the barrier.

He responded sarcastically, "Oh my, I've gone and changed! Maybe they'll let me out of the cage!"

She shot back, "I think you'd have to advance to 'Odin is tolerable' for that to happen."

He winced, "Ooof, that's going to be a while. I think you'd better bring me more books."

Brynja pulled two paperbacks out from the folds of her robes, "Got you a couple here. The Iliad and The Faerie Queen. If you thought Burns was hard, you're going to have a challenge with Spencer. Older version of the language- very interesting, but not exactly light reading. Maybe by the time you've memorized that one, you'll have reached 'Odin is tolerable'."

"That difficult?"

"To memorize, yes. I like it, but my literary tastes tend toward the complicated."

Loki grinned, "I'll consider that a challenge, then."

"Is the challenge to memorize it, or to do it before you start tolerating Father's existence?" she teased back.

By this time he had moved to sit right next to her on the other side of the barrier, "Oh, I think the greater challenge would be to do it with a time limit, don't you? So before I decide Odin is tolerable."

She touched the barrier and felt it solidify, "We'll have to fake this, but shake on it."

Loki agreed and they both pretended to shake hands through the barrier, laughing as they realised the absurdity of their actions. She set the books in the same place she had the last time and said her goodbyes before too long, as it was time for supper.

Thor's visit to Loki took place the day after Brynja visited his cell. Loki largely ignored him, waiting for Thor to say something that was worth responding to. Thor tried to be cordial. He brought a new book from Jane, attempted to make small talk of one kind or another, and asked Loki if he would like to hear news from Midgard. Loki did not respond to any of it.

Thor was getting frustrated, "Loki, if you do not wish me to be in your life, I will gladly leave it once more. Brynja convinced me that I should at least try to find my brother in you again. If she was mistaken, I will not waste time here."

Loki spoke quietly, hiding behind a book, "Thor, do you have any idea what happened to me after Odin took back the throne? Brynja doesn't, thank god. You were in Midgard with your mortal. Has anyone told you what Odin allowed? It wasn't simply back to the cell..."

Thor shook his head, "I don't follow, Little Brother. What happened?"

Loki did not turn to face him and spoke evenly, every word measured, "Your beloved Father handed me to your delightful friends with the orders that they should teach me a lesson about just where my place was in this realm. They tortured me, Thor. Fandral the most gleefully, Volstagg only what he felt was needed, and Sif...well Sif is terrifying when she's in a good mood. Only Hogun stepped back and did not believe he needed to add to my pain. He said little, but did attempt to tell Fandral that it was enough to cause pain and humiliation, he did not need to laugh and taunt while doing so. Would you like to see the scars they left? Would you like to hear a more detailed list of what they did? Perhaps you should ask them about the little cuts, the hot irons, everything they thought up to make sure I was returned here unable to move or think, every breath excruciating. It took days before the sorrow rose in me enough to begin to think of fleeing, every inch of my body burning as the wounds clotted into my clothing and tore open again at every move. I could not feed myself. I rarely left the bed. I bled on everything and lay in my own filth for days. I was ready and willing to die long before they were done with me and every moment of every day after. Vengeance was the only thing I could think of for years, vengeance and self-loathing." He threw the book aside, unable to contain the rage any longer, "Your  _friends_ , Thor. The people you trusted most in this world, who fought beside me and whose lives I saved in battle time and time again! Would you like to see what they did to me? Would you like to see every scar, every brand?" he was yelling, unwilling to hold back his hurt, tugging at the collar of his shirt to expose the edges of his scars "There was a time when I would have died alongside every one of you and you...YOU! -just walk in here expect me not to see you as just another one of them!"

Thor was stunned, "No one told me-"

"Because no one thought it mattered, Thor, what they did to me! Until I asked Brynja, no one even thought to tell me how Mother  _died_. I am nothing here, and apparently even to you." Loki was ought of breath and dropped back against his pillow.

Thor sighed, "I'm sorry, Loki. What you did was atrocious, but I do not believe that torture was justified over just executing you. You were our companion, training with us as an equal, fighting alongside us."

Loki spoke softly, tired and emotionally drained, "No, not the equal. The little brother Mother and Father said had to be included, but I know I was not wanted. I was the weakest of you, the one you had to protect most often. I was not embraced by your friends. You, perhaps, felt that I was valuable to have beside you, but they did not. And given what they did to me, I know now that I am worth less than the dirt upon their soles in their eyes and in the eyes of Odin."

Thor stepped closer to the barrier, "Know this, Little Brother- you were always wanted when we fought together, at least by me. I miss what you were. I do not know what you have become, but you are no longer the man I knew."

"How could I be, after all I have been through?" he asked and then he simply went silent again, staring at the ceiling. Thor could not see it, but Loki was casting an illusion to keep him from seeing the struggle with his emotions he knew was playing across his face as he remembered those days between his capture and his return to the cell.

Thor nodded, "If I do not see you again before returning to Jane, I wish you the best. Please also be careful with my sister. I will know if you break her and I will not be kind in my retaliation."

As he walked away, Loki responded, his voice barely above a whisper, "Brynja is the only person in this forsaken place who has always been gentle with me. If I break her, I will deserve whatever you deem just punishment."

Startled, Thor's step faltered. Loki had never expressed much humility growing up, especially when he knew he had done wrong. The fact that he believed he would deserve anything in punishment was a strange twist Thor had not expected. He resumed his pace quickly and left Loki laying on the bed, alone.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Thor returned to Jane. Brynja returned to living in the walls. Frigga asked Odin about Loki. Odin thought. He thought about time. It had been fifteen years since he'd imprisoned Loki in the cell after his last transgression. He called both Frigga and Brynja to meet him.

Brynja decided that, as she had been called, she was going to forgo the purple robe and dress like the princess she was. The gown she chose to wear was one of her favourites- it swept the floor and trailed behind her, the sage green fabric draping gently over her body, its weight and sway not too light, but not as heavy as the satin dress that hung in her wardrobe from her visit to Midgard's 1930s. She swept her hair up and secured it with gold pins and considered herself ready for an audience with her father.

She traveled through the walls until she was closer to the throne room and then slipped into the hallway just outside its doors. The guards stepped aside and opened the doors for her.

Frigga met her as she stepped inside, "Your father has been thinking about Loki. Did he tell you that is why he summoned you here?"

Brynja shook her head, "No, he did not. Might I ask what part of Loki's fate this is concerning?"

Frigga shook her head, "I can't entirely say. We have been discussing the length of his imprisonment."

The two women waited until Odin beckoned, "If you are ready to discuss this, please come forward." Frigga and Brynja did. Odin met them at the base of the steps leading up to his throne, "I've been thinking about the amount of time Loki has been sitting in his cell. By rights, I should leave him there until he dies a natural death. You both have had more contact with him than I have, though, and I would like your assessment of him. Frigga, what do you think of his situation? He has not been in the cell long. Has his mind changed at all or is he still determined to rule?"

Frigga sighed, "I wish I could better tell you. I only have a few letters from him and while they express a deep regret for having disappointed me, I do not know if he is remorseful for his actions or merely the loss of our relationship. Still, he seems calm. Bored, perhaps, but calm."

Odin nodded and turned to Brynja, "And you? What have you seen of him?"

"He sits and reads- there is still a playfulness in him that I've seen once in a while. He is still quite angry at you, Father, and at Thor. I can't say if his ambitions have changed, though. He rarely speaks of the past or of what he would do if he thought the had a future. I think he has honestly lost hope that he will ever be anything but a prisoner."

Odin paced, "Well, the only way we are going to find out his ambitions is if we test him with a future and tempt him with the possibility of ruling a realm. Brynja, you are going to take him a message. We are going to make a deal with him. He will be allowed to leave his cell if, and only if, he can find a realm other than Midgard whose leaders will take him as either a guest or prisoner. He must not try to take over the throne once there. If he does and fails this test, I will do as I should have done all along and have him executed, if the realm's leaders do not get to it first. If he is successful in claiming power, the realm will be declared an enemy of Asgard and we will wage war with it if there are ever aggressions toward this or any other realm. You, Brynja, will accompany him to this other realm, if one can be found. You will hold him to this bargain, but not only by your own means. If he breaks this agreement, you will be called back here to be married, as you should have been years ago. There have been many who have expressed interest in your hand and it was only by your mother's intervention that I have accepted none of their offers. Do you agree to these terms, Brynja?"

She took a deep breath and thought for a moment- Loki's compliance with the terms of his freedom would also determine hers, a bargaining chip she hoped he would see value in, yet she could not help but think he was being set up to fail her father's test. She nodded.

Odin continued, "Good. Go and inform him of this. As you are traveling on my behalf, feel free to walk the paths of the hallways, rather than in the walls. You are dismissed." Brynja left to deliver the message.

Frigga shook her head as she watched her daughter leave, "Odin, you are far too willing to sacrifice that girl's happiness to test that boy's ambition."

Odin sighed, "It is for the security of this realm and all others. Loki must feel there is someone at stake other than himself- someone he actually values. I know that girl visits him. If there is anything that can keep him under control while out of our sight, it is the knowledge that her future is on the line as well. The threat of his own death will mean nothing to him."

Brynja turned heads as she walked through the halls. Of course, many of those heads belonged to people who had not seen her since childhood, but she still took a bit of pride in the fact that she was attracting attention. She made the long journey to the cells quickly, her pace never slowing from the determined stride she had left the throne room with.

When she came into sight of his cell, Loki rose and stood, waiting, as she approached, "Brynja? Now this is certainly a lovely new way to see you- you are neither covered head to foot nor dressed to flee to Midgard. What is the occasion?" He was smiling until he noticed how grim her face was.

"Father has offered us a bargain- a test of your ambitions."

Loki crossed his arms behind his back, "Oh. Us?"

"Yes, us. If you can find another realm that will take you as guest or prisoner, you are free to leave this cell, but there are conditions. You must not try to take over the realm you are accepted into, or any other. If you do and you succeed, Father will either declare you and that realm an enemy of Asgard and seek war or, if you fail, will execute you, if the realm's rulers don't do it first. I am to go with you to hold you to the bargain. If you break the agreement, I will be called back here to be married to the highest bidder. You're at stake, I'm at stake."

Loki stared at her in disbelief, "And you agreed to this? To be a sacrifice to my mistakes?"

She nodded, "There is no other choice. I either say no and you sit and rot in this cell or I give you a chance to prove everyone wrong and risk my neck in the process. You might as well have a shot and this will probably be the only one, even if it looks like Father is setting you up to fail and offering a false hope. I don't like agreeing to this, Loki. I know who you've been, I've seen your nature. Know that marriage to someone not of my choosing is something I'm terrified of. But I don't think you're going to get another chance. I don't feel like I can tell him no and deny you this once shot even if it will kill my soul if you fail."

He sighed, "If you are willing, what do I have to lose?"

"Everything, Loki, including me," she replied, "And I have an additional condition you are going to agree to. Something between you and me."

"And that would be?"

Brynja locked eyes with him, her gaze deadly serious, "No lies, no trickery, no deception. I will know the truth of you and your words no matter what that is, no matter how ugly it is, no matter how angry you think it will make me. I'm not dealing with illusions. I'm not going to let you twist me. If I'm tied to you like this, you'd damn well better be honest with me. And if you make this promise of truth and break it, I'll set the Witch after you. You gain everything in this bargain for as long as you can keep it. Even agreeing to it it, I lose my home in Asgard, I lose contact with my mother, I lose Midgard. If you screw up, I lose my freedom. You will give me this one thing in return."

Loki touched the barrier- he did not hesitate to agree to her conditions, "Of course. I still can't believe you are willing to do this. Shall we shake on it?" They did, but this time without laughter.

Brynja took a step back and sighed, "I'd best go report back to Father. I'll get you a list of the rulers of each realm so you can start writing letters. Oh, but Father says no Midgard. There's no single leader to write to, so you can't go there."

He laughed a little ruefully, "I wouldn't venture near Midgard on my own for all the gold in Odin's vaults. There are people there would hunt me down in a heartbeat if they saw even my shadow on the wall."

Brynja turned to make her report back to Odin, "Good, then I can assure Father you have accepted the terms of the agreement, Midgard and all. You'd best start thinking of how to word this letter. Saying, 'I'm Loki, I'm in prison for crimes against Midgard and for a takeover of Asgard. Let me come water your plants,' probably isn't going to work."

Loki could not comprehend her decision. He did not understand her motivations, given all that she would lose even just agreeing to Odin's proposal. He certainly had no idea why she would give up so much for him. Something in the back of his mind wanted to use her to be free and then to disappear, to leave her and make his own way in the world as someone else, to go where she could not or would not follow, or to hide so well she could not find him. He tried to shake the thought from his mind; if Brynja was willing to sacrifice her happiness as a wanderer to him, he would force himself to honour that sacrifice, even if only because he feared her powers as the Witch.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Loki began writing. He carefully crafted his letter, using his most formal, polite writing and hoping that the word had not reached all the realms that he was completely insane and should just stay locked up for the rest of his life. Of course, he also continually hoped that this hint of freedom was not a false hope that would lead nowhere. He knew that it was a distinct possibility that it might, but he tried to tell himself that somewhere he had a place to be, and it wasn't in the cell.

Brynja visited as often as she could and Loki asked if anyone had responded every time. Nothing came. She could tell he was having difficulty handling the unknown. She asked the guards to notify her if any letters arrived so she could be present when he opened the letter.

In the middle of the night nearly half a year after he sent out his first letter, someone knocked on the door to her quarters; she tossed on her purple robe and answered, "This had better be important."

The guard nodded, "You asked to know when a letter came for Laufeyson. One has arrived. Should we deliver it tonight or wait for the morning?"

She stepped into the hallway, "He would want to know immediately. Let's go now."

They walked through the passages in silence, the letter in the guard's hands. Upon arrival at the cells, she stood outside the barrier while the guard banged on the wall until Loki woke. The guard shoved the letter through the same slot that opened in the barrier for the delivery of meals and announced that he had a letter. Loki staggered to his feet, still half asleep, and picked it up. It was as he turned that he noticed Brynja.

Loki sat next to the barrier and she perched on the stool beside him as he opened the letter and read it quickly, "No. They say no." He dropped the letter to his knees and sighed.

She pressed her hand against the barrier where his shoulder touched it, "We knew these were coming."

He stared at the letter, bitterness in his voice, "I know. Every rejection is one less hope of leaving this cage."

"Hold out hope, Loki. There are other realms."

Loki looked up at her, wishing he could feel her touch, "Thank you, Brynja. Thank you."

She smiled, "Now get some rest. Tomorrow is another day."

He nodded and rose, as did she, and he went to his bed, leaving the letter on his desk. She bid him goodnight and he returned it. She returned to her own room and fell in bed, exhausted and wondering what Loki's mood would be like in then morning.

After breakfast, Brynja went to check on Loki. He was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands when she arrived.

"Loki? Did something else happen in the last few hours?" she asked.

"Another letter."

"And let me guess-"

He finished her sentence, "Another no. Two by letter, one by default. Three other realms without possibility, an additional one I did not bother writing to. Tell me, Brynja, why did I ever hope this might work? That I might see the sun or feel the touch of another person again? This is just Odin's idea of a cruel joke, one way or another."

Brynja sighed, "Loki, hope is something we do by nature. To lose hope may give you relief from disappointment, but it makes the future so much more bleak. Hope is why I fled to Midgard the first time, hope is why I put up with living in the walls and wearing this purple drapery every goddamned day. Hope is why after every defeat, you still tried again to prove that you are as good as your brother and tried to earn your father's respect, no matter how far from grace you fell in the process. Hope is why I agreed to sign my life away if you screw this up- hope that you are deserving of one more chance and that you'll make good on your promises."

Loki still did not move from his desk, but his voice was angry, "Does it really look like I'm going to get the chance?"

"You might."

He shook his head, "You aren't helping right now. Leave me be before I say something ridiculously stupid."

She nodded and stepped back before she turned and left. He glanced at her as she disappeared down the hall and realised that he was no longer as solitary as an oyster, to use a phrase from one of the books Jane had sent with Thor, but rather was starting to depend on Brynja's company and to miss her when she was gone. He also realised that he deeply wanted to know what it would be like to feel her hand resting on his shoulder in comfort, or her fingers laced with his as she sat close beside him. He shook his head to clear it of the thoughts, but they lingered.

It did not take long for more letters to arrive. Brynja tried to meet the guards when she could at Loki's cell, but they did not always tell her when they delivered the post. She found out about the next two when she went to see Loki after dinner. His plate was on his desk and he sat picking at it.

"Loki, what's wrong?"

"Do you have to ask, Brynja?"

She shrugged, "Just thought I'd be polite. More letters?"

He dropped his fork on the plate, "Yes, and both of them no."

"Did you write to Svartalfheim?" she asked.

"No, not there. The last time I was there it was rather...unpleasant."

"Well being impaled would leave a bad impression on me, too. What about Jotunheim?" Loki did not answer for a moment and Brynja could tell that he was trying to keep from saying something that he would probably later regret, "Spit it out, I can take it."

"Jotunheim- because I'm one of them, so that's where I belong? A cold, cruel monster who deserves to return to where he came from, to go back to be sacrificed on the rock where my father left me to die?" he was angry and bitter, but the edge on his voice was a little less biting than Brynja thought it might have otherwise been.

"Do you feel better now?" she asked.

"Not really," he answered.

Brynja returned to his question, "And the answer is no, not because you happened to be born to Jotun parents. If you wrote to them and they haven't answered, you've still got one letter coming that could be a yes."

"Or a no. Most likely a no."

Brynja nodded, "It could be. But it also might not be."

Loki thought out-loud, "Maybe all of the rulers met and talked this over. They decided together that I was not welcome in their realms."

"Perhaps. I know Freyja doesn't want to risk war against Odin, she told me she put that in her letter. She really is sorry she can't say yes and accept you to Vanaheim. It wouldn't surprise me if the other rulers did meet, though- they'd want to know what risk they were taking on by letting you come live with them."

He tossed the letters on the floor, "A risk. Just a risk."

She sighed, "Yes, a risk. But never 'just'... 'Just' is such a horrible little diminishing word."

He went back to picking at his dinner. Brynja bid him goodnight. He did not answer. She set a small book of poetry where the guards would see it to deliver to him and returned to her room to get some sleep.

 


	10. Chapter 10

It took nearly another month for the final letter to arrive. Because it was hand-delivered by a messenger from Jotunheim, Odin himself received the messenger and opened the note. He immediately called for Brynja and Frigga.

Brynja dressed for her audience with her father and met Frigga once again just inside the throne room. She noticed the Jotun messenger waiting for them and both women quickly approached the throne.

Odin addressed them, "My queen, my daughter, we have received news from Jotunheim. Loki's letter was received by King Halifrey. After much thought and discussion, the leaders of Jotunheim have agreed to take Loki as a very closely watched guest, the terms of our agreement understood in Jotunheim as well as Asgard. Bel, messenger and son of Halifrey, has agreed to escort both Loki and Brynja to their halls along with a cart of whatever possessions both wish to take." He turned to Brynja, his face solemn, "There is still time if you wish to step out of this bargain and stay here in Asgard."

Brynja shook her head, "Thank you, Father, but I gave both you and Loki my word and I will hold to that. I will go."

Odin nodded, "Then go and tell Loki the news. I will send my guards to meet you there and to escort you both to your rooms to pack your belongings." He addressed Frigga, "Gather those who wish to see them off- we will meet at the Bifrost to bid them farewell." Odin returned his attention to Bel, "Now, you and I should make certain that there is no question how we will retrieve Loki should he fail this test and your people do not execute him first."

Frigga and Brynja took that as their cue to leave the throne room; Frigga took her daughter's hand before Brynja could start down the hall, "Brynja, you are a brave and strong young woman to agree to your father's proposal. I will miss you greatly, my love."

Brynja hugged her mother, "And I you. I don't see this as brave, though...this is just the only chance Loki is ever going to get. I wouldn't feel right being the one thing standing in his way."

Frigga smiled, "I am very proud of you. I will see if I can summon Thor to see you off- I know he will be, too."

Brynja let her mother go and stepped back, "I'd best get to Loki before Father's guards do. I want to be the one to tell him the news."

Frigga nodded and Brynja walked quickly away, hoping she didn't feel the pain of departing from her mother before she was safely beyond the gates of Asgard and out of sight of her parents.

She arrived at Loki's cell just as the guards did; they heard her coming and gestured for her to come around the corner to the cell's other entrance. Loki was puzzled, but waited patiently.

The guards dropped the barrier and stepped in, placing themselves on either side of the entrance both inside and out; one of them announced Brynja, "The Lady Brynja, daughter of Odin, Princess of Asgard."

She entered the room and stepped up to Loki, the guards on edge, "I have very good news. Bel of Jotunheim stands now in Father's throne room. Your letter has been received and the answer is yes."

Loki sank slowly to his bed, "This is real, isn't it, Bryn?"

She nodded, "No lies, no trickery, no deception. It's real. We're packing today and moving to Jotunheim." She stepped towards him and offered her hand, "Come on, we don't have a whole lot of time to get ready."

He stared at her hand for a moment and then took it, standing up very close to her. They stood still for a moment, then a wide smile spread over Loki's face, Brynja responding in kind.

Loki spoke, "Yes, let's get going. Will you help me carry my books from here?"

Brynja nearly answered, but one of the guards interrupted, "That will not be necessary- we will pack this room."

Loki shook his head, "I don't want anything to remind me of this cell. My books, my clothing, the letters, my writing kit...but not the furniture. I don't need a new start cluttered with the trappings of my imprisonment." She started to lead him to the door, but he stopped her and chose two books from the shelf to carry with him, Hamlet and Songs of Innocence and Experience. He then took her hand again as she led him out of the cell, "Just in case something goes terribly wrong, I want these with me."

The guards first escorted them through the walls to Brynja's room, "Welcome to my home...or what was my home."

Loki looked around- there were trunks stacked by the door, each one with a tag, her bureau shoved over by them and a dresser from Midgard pushed next to it. An empty quilt rack was folded up and leaned against the dresser along with a folding screen. A small table and two wooden chairs were stacked nearby.

"You've been busy."

She nodded, "I had a feeling someone would come through for you, so I started packing early. Four trunks, a footlocker, the furniture. Everything has a place to be. The fourth trunk isn't in the stack yet, but that's because the bedding and everything from the desk are going to go in it." She pulled over the chair from the desk, "You can either sit or help me fold bedding." He opted to help her fold and the task went quickly. After folding, she tugged the trunk over to the desk and began handing him paper, bottled ink, and her pens to stack in the top tray of the trunk along with a bundle of letters, some of the paper quite yellowed. The last thing she handed him was a photo album from the bottom of the desk. "There, that takes care of the desk. Let's haul the furniture and this last trunk over by the door so it'll be easier for the guards to load it onto the cart."

He scanned her pile of furniture and trunks as he helped her haul the desk, "Your stack is going to make mine look quite small in comparison."

She shrugged, "Well, up until a point, you could leave your room to find the things you needed. I've lived here for the better part of my life, excepting when I ran off to Midgard. I had to have everything right here."

He looked at her bare arms, "Aren't you going to freeze when we get to Jotunheim? While incredibly flattering, your dress is hardly suited to the cold."

She smiled and took the single cloak from the hooks on the wall, "That's why I have this, darling- it's lined in fleece and there are mittens around here to go with it. I set them aside this morning."

"But you didn't know it would be Jotunheim that accepted us this morning," he stated, a little suspicious.

She smiled, "Actually, I knew a messenger was coming before Father did. Freyja has sentries on the far edges of the Bifrost and sent word there was a messenger from Jotunheim on the way. I figured that if the answer were a no, they wouldn't bother to send anyone, they'd just write a letter like everyone else. So I got the furniture I absolutely didn't need anymore pushed aside, pulled out the winter cloak and my walking staff, and got ready for traveling in the cold. I even have boots." She picked up her boots and tossed the cloak over her arm, the mittens tucked under her elbow, "We're done here. Let's go take care of your things."

The two guards accompanied Brynja and Loki through the walls as she wound her way to the exit closest to Loki's room. Out of habit, she checked the hall for anyone watching before stepping into it. Loki led her to his room and opened the door. There was a thick layer of dust on everything in it.

"It's been how many years, Brynja, since I've been in here?"

"Fifteen."

"That explains the dust. I'm sorry, you don't have to help pack things if you don't want to get dirty," Loki said, a bit embarrassed by the condition of his room.

Brynja hung up her cloak by the door and set her boots and mittens beneath, "We'll manage. If the dress gets dusty, I'll shake it off. It nor I are going to be hurt by a little bit of errant dirt." She slipped her hand in his, "So, where do we begin?"

He pulled a few trunks from the corner, "I suppose we pack clothes in one and everything else we can fit in the other." She glanced around the room. An iron bed, a small bedside table, and the plain wardrobe made up the whole of his furniture.

Brynja opened the wardrobe, "I take it most of your clothes are down in the cell?"

Loki nodded as he pulled the dusty quilt off the bed and went to shake it out the window, "Yes. There's not much here, I'm afraid. Mostly my armor and a few very nice pieces."

She brushed the sleeve of a sage tunic, "Very nice indeed." Brynja pulled the trunk over by the wardrobe and began to fold garments into it, one by one. She stopped folding to watch Loki- his eyes closed, he stood in the sunlight, a smile slowly forming on his face as as he thoroughly enjoyed the warmth he had not felt on his skin in a decade and a half. She smiled, his bliss contagious. She realised that holding her hand had been the first touch he had felt since his imprisonment. She continued packing and let him be, not wanting to interrupt his moment of happiness.

Loki brought over the bedding after he finished shaking it out and she set it on top of the clothing. He tucked his two books between the layers. After the first task was done, they packed his armor in the second trunk along with a few pairs of shoes and boots. They moved the furniture and trunks close to the door.

Loki shrugged, "I suppose that's all. We're finished here."

Brynja glanced at what he was wearing, "And given your concern for me freezing, where's your heavy cloak and boots?"

He wasn't entirely sure, "Many years ago, I left them down in Odin's cloak room. We shall have to see if they are still there."

Other guards entered the room to carry out the furniture and trunks as Brynja and Loki were escorted to the cloak room. The guards insisted on traveling through the hallways, rather than the wall, and their procession caused a stir among those they passed. Loki reached for Brynja's hand as all eyes landed on him and whispers rippled through the groups walking by. She squeezed his hand and he held it tightly.

Loki was mildly nervous, glancing down side hallways as they passed as though he expected something to ambush them. As they crossed one of the main corridors, he saw Sif watching the procession, her arms crossed over her chest. Loki inched closer to Brynja, his body tense as he seemed to shrink away from Sif, his step quickening as his anxiety rose. His eyes darted between the hallway in front of him back to Sif.

Brynja gently switched which hand was holding his so she could place her other on his back. She gently stroked between his shoulders, hoping to calm him. Even the guards tightened their escort, uneasy with the change in Loki's behaviour.

Loki realised, as he became aware of Brynja's hand on his back, that he had not told her  _why_  he would be anxious near Sif. He glanced over at her.

She squeezed his hand, "You don't have to explain," she whispered, "I don't need to know if you don't want to tell me." Loki shook his head and they kept walking, his tension rising at each hallway they crossed.

When they arrived in the cloakroom, Loki went to the back and found his light cloak, but not the winter one he had expected to also find. His boots were there, though, so he put them on with the light cloak as Brynja dressed herself for the cold. As ready as they could be, they went to meet their cart, Loki still nervous, the guards on high alert.

The first person they saw waiting for them to see them off was Freyja, Queen of Vanaheim and Brynja's close friend; Loki bowed as he approached, "Loki, Brynja. I did not expect to see a day such as this, but here we have it." She took one hand from each of them, "Children, may you find happiness in your new home and companionship with one another." She turned to Loki, "And all the powers in the universe help you if you hurt her. I'm rather fond of this girl. If you mess this up, I will know, probably before even you figure out what has happened, and I will be watching."

Loki had always been a bit afraid of Freyja, but without very good reason; he was certain he now had a very good reason, "I will do my best, Lady Freyja," he said quietly.

Freyja nodded curtly, "You'd damn well better." She squeezed both their hands, "Now go- you have much to learn from the realm you are going to and from one another."

As they left Freyja, Frigga approached and wrapped her arms around both of them, "I will miss you both. Please, write."

Loki embraced Frigga tightly, "I will try, Mother." He relaxed a little against her.

She pulled away from him and touched his cheek, "I hope you do not take only hatred for this realm with you. You have been loved here, even when you did not deserve it."

Frigga turned her attention to Brynja, taking both her hands, "You are a strong young woman. You are on yet another one of your adventures, and I hope it serves you well."

Brynja kissed her mother on the cheek, "All of my adventures have taught me something of value. I will be fine. I'll write when I get the chance."

Thor had stepped up to speak to Loki, "Loki, you do not deserve this. You do not deserve the loyalty of my sister. You certainly do not deserve to be free from your cell after what you did to Midgard and to Asgard. Given that you deserve nothing, I hope you are grateful for it and do your best to live well."

Loki nodded, trying to figure out how to get out of the conversation without it looking like he was fleeing, "I owe it to Brynja to try."

Brynja joined them, "None of us deserve our second chances, Thor, not even you. But all of us ought be grateful for them, no matter what form they come in."

Thor sighed, "Some are less worthy than others of their fourth, though. What do you feel about this, Sister?" Loki stepped back so he was a little farther from Thor, Brynja at least partially between the two men.

"Mother is right- this is another great adventure. I have to take it at that and run with it. A chance to explore another realm and learn how to live there. I can be happy with this. At least I am not alone."

Thor was not entirely pleased with her answer, but he nodded anyway, "Of course. But you had best call on us for help if you need it. We will be there if you have trouble."

Brynja hugged him, "Thank you. I will keep that in mind."

Odin stood between Loki, Brynja, and the cart, the final person to say goodbye to the pair, "You had best not keep Bel waiting, he would like to get you back to Jotunheim before dark."

Brynja slipped her hand in Loki's and they approached him, both bowing their heads; Brynja spoke first, "Father, I thank you for what I have been given over the years. I have not always been the ideal daughter for a king, but I have done my best within my nature. I hope you will forgive those things I have done that are not befitting of a lady of your house."

Odin lifted her chin, "I have been quick to anger with you, child, but I forgive those things you could not help but do. You are, indeed, impulsive, wild, and most definitely like I was as a much younger man. Wisdom comes from experience and I believe the places you have gone and the things you have seen will cultivate that in you in time. You have already proven merciful and compassionate. I see you growing into a strong leader, Brynja."

"Thank you, Father."

Odin turned to Loki, who was gripping Brynja's hand very tightly, "We may not have always done right by you, but your choices are still your own. Make better ones from this day on."

Loki nodded but said nothing. Odin reached out to clasp Loki's hand; Loki hesitated, his entire body tense. He shook Odin's hand reluctantly, grateful when the moment had passed.

One of the nearest guards handed Brynja her walking staff and she approached the cart with Loki, their belongings all loaded, two large horses ready with Bel leading them.

Bel tilted his head, "Are you ready to go?"

Loki spoke first, "Yes, please."

With that, they turned from the City of Asgard and began the journey to Jotunheim.

Brynja, Loki, and Bel were halfway across the Bifrost before Loki broke the silence, "I hate this bridge."

"Well, falling from it would make me hate it, too," Brynja replied.

Bel glanced back at the two of them as they followed the cart, "You may want to ride the cart as we cross to Jotunheim. The jolt is always more unpleasant on foot if you are unaccustomed to it." He stopped the cart and they climbed on the back.

A few moments later, they were in snow. Loki shivered and tucked his knees to his chest. Brynja slid her staff between items on the cart gestured for him to come closer, hoping she might be able to keep him warm. Loki looked at her cautiously, wondering why she was waving him to come closer.

Brynja patted the cart beside her, "Come here, Loki. If we sit closer, we can keep each other warm." Loki inched closer and Brynja remembered just how little contact he had with people during his imprisonment, "It's OK. I'm inviting you- I'm one of those people who likes being close to others. I'm a cuddler." Loki moved closer, finally within reach. She slipped closer to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. The cold only grew more bitter as they traveled, Loki curling closer to Brynja out of instinct.

She teased him gently, "I thought being Jotun you would be better acclimated to the cold."

He shook his head, "Living in Asgard de-acclimated me, I suppose."

Bel, now riding the cart, driving the horses, called back, "You will find your quarters warmer. Previous kings have been fascinated by Lady Freyja. In order to tempt her into staying here, there are parts of the temple that are more suited to those accustomed to your climate. You will find a fireplace in your rooms, as well has hot water in the bath."

Loki tugged his thin cloak closer around his shoulders, "A hot bath sounds delightful about now."

Bel answered, "Well you'd best hold onto the thought of it, then, as we have a few more hours of travel ahead of us."

Brynja tucked herself against the wall of the cart and the back of the pile of furniture and trunks. She coaxed Loki close to her, wrapping her cloak around them both the best she could. She muttered a charm and a tiny flame sprang to life in her hand, shedding enough heat to make the little nook feel slightly less bitter in the harsh wind. Loki rested his head on her shoulder, relaxing for the first time since leaving Asgard, and she placed the little flame in his hand when he went to warm his fingers beside it.

"Little Witch," he whispered, "this may be the most impressive bit of Witchery you've done other than raising the dead."

She laughed, "You must really be cold, saying that."

He tucked his hood around his ears, falling asleep shortly after. She kept the flame close to his hands so they would not freeze.

It wasn't long before Bel stopped the cart and came to check on them, "You are quiet. I thought perhaps you had fallen from the wagon."

Brynja shook her head, "No, but Loki fell asleep, so I've had no one to talk to."

Bel nodded, "I will keep us moving, then. You may want to rest as well. There will be much to do when we arrive and the king will want to see you both."

Brynja agreed and Bel went back to the front of the cart. It already had been a long day, and here she was with a man who had not felt touch in fifteen years curled up against her asleep. She realised that he had also not been cold or hot for fifteen years, the cell carefully controlled and his clothing distributed by other people. She sighed, knowing just how much work was ahead of her to not only help Loki become re-accustomed to interaction with others, but to hold him to the bargain with her father. In her heart, she knew he would slide back into his old habits and break the deal, her fate sealed, but she also knew she had to hope for the best.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Brynja woke when they arrived at the temple and roused Loki after putting out her little flame. The temple was mostly a ruin, obviously battle scarred, unused sections left to crumble as time went on. Loki left the cart first and offered Brynja his hand, which she accepted, as she stepped down from the wagon. They stood, staring at the huge set of doors ahead of them. Bel knocked and a window slid open in one of the doors. He said something they could not understand and the window slid closed, the doors opening shortly thereafter. Bel led the cart into the huge cavern beyond, Brynja and Loki following.

Bel handed the reigns to another Jotun and came back to meet them, "Your trunks will be brought to the hall outside your rooms. You will follow me to the king."

Brynja slipped her walking staff from where she had tucked it on the cart and stepped forward, "Then lead on, we are ready."

The halls of the temple were winding and narrow and appeared very difficult to navigate. Loki walked close to Brynja, his eyes straight ahead, his focus obviously on whatever they were about to be told. He was tense and she could see it in every line on his face. She brushed her fingers against his, but she knew he was playing the proud prince, unwilling to take her hand.

When they arrived at another set of great doors, Bel addressed two guards and bowed briefly to them. Loki and Brynja followed suit. The guards opened the door for them and Bel led them into the throne room.

They were greeted by two more guards on the other side of the door in addition to a pair standing on either side of a rough hewn stone throne.

A voice rang out as they approached, the room dim and the figure on the throne difficult to see, "Bel, my son, you have made the journey safely. I see you have brought our guests for us as well."

Bel bowed low before continuing forward or addressing his father, "I have, Father. Loki and Brynja of Asgard."

The king came down from his throne and gestured to Loki and Brynja, "Come forward, Loki and Brynja of Asgard." They did, bowing down on one knee once directly in front of him, "Rise, please, that I might see your faces." They followed his order, "I am King Halifrey. You both have, I assume, well understood the terms of the agreement made that you might live here?" Both nodded, "Good. You have had a long journey- I will have supper prepared for you while your belongings are brought to your rooms. Please, consider this place your home, humble as it is in comparison to the grand one you once had in the City of Asgard."

Brynja bowed her head briefly before responding, "Thank you for your kindness. Your hospitality is much appreciated."

Loki waited for Brynja to finish before speaking, "I, too, appreciate the chance I have been given."

Halifrey spoke quietly to Loki, "I advise you not to speak to many about your origins, as there are those here who might take your arrival as a threat. Many know there was a son of Laufey before me, but few know you are my elder brother. Should word get out, I fear for your safety and for that of the Lady Brynja."

Loki looked to the floor, "Be assured that my past is not something I wish to talk about."

Halifrey nodded, "Then we shall refrain from bringing it up unless critical." He turned to Bel, "Please lead these two to their rooms. They at least ought to get their possessions into their quarters before supper. The halls are not wide enough to keep things stacked in." As Brynja and Loki turned to leave, Halifrey spoke one more time, in a voice just loud enough for them to hear, "Do not fear showing your friendship; two together are safer than one alone."

This time, when Brynja reached for Loki's hand, he took it and he relaxed a little. Behind their backs, Halifrey smiled.

Bel brought Loki and Brynja to a hallway not far from the throne room, "Brynja, your room is here. I will show Loki to his and then we will sort through your belongings." He opened the door and handed her a lantern that had been set on the stack of trunks in the hall. She stepped inside and walked around the spacious dark stone room. There was a fireplace to her left and a long bare stone wall to her right. There were little lamp stands notched into each wall a few feet from the corners as well as every few feet between. The wall across from the door was mostly windows, three large arches framing them from floor to ceiling. She smiled as she stepped into the centre of the room and turned around to see the whole space.

Loki, meanwhile, was led to a smaller room with windows on two sides around the corner from Brynja's room. The room was at the end of a dead-end hall and jutted out from the temple, the views in both directions unimpeded by the temple itself. From the windows across from the door, he could see Brynja's three large windows. The window on wall to the left of the door gave him a view quite similar to hers over Jotunheim. A small fireplace was set in the remaining wall. After years of captivity, he appreciated the openness of the space and thanked Bel for that consideration. Bel led him back to the slightly wider hallway outside of Brynja's room where the trunks and furniture were stacked.

Brynja and Loki pulled trunks from the pile and brought them to their respective rooms and then sent to work moving furniture out of the hallway. It didn't take long, working together, to clear the halls. Brynja offered to help Loki set up his room, but Bel stepped in after one of the others informed him that supper was ready and they should report to the dining hall at once.

They dined alone and in relative silence. The food prepared for them was not elaborate, but it was a solid hot meal and both were very grateful for it after the long journey. After supper, they returned to their rooms.

Brynja helped Loki set up his room, the task taking very little time. He set his bed against the windows so he could see the stars as he fell asleep, the wardrobe against the fireplace wall, and his small table next to his bed. They unpacked his trunks quickly, his clothing in the wardrobe, his books stacked on the bedside table. His letters and writing kit he placed in the trunk he had near the door.

Brynja's room took longer to set up. She put her bed directly across the room from her fireplace and her table and chairs in front of the windows. She tucked her desk on one side of her bed, her dresser and wardrobe near the fireplace with her folding screen beside them, dividing off a dressing corner. Her quilt rack she placed near the bed, her footlocker at the bed's foot, and her other trunks she placed nearest the furniture that its contents belonged to- quilts, books, clothing, and items from her travels. She did not ask for help unpacking the trunks. Loki looked exhausted and she was quite tired as well.

Before he left to return to his own room, Loki took both her hands in his. He took time to actually look at the hands he was holding and to study Brynja's face, no barrier between them- her hands were slender, strong, with a few scars, they reflected her character. He also noticed a gold ring on her right hand, "Does someone else share a matching ring?" he asked.

She nodded, "Long ago, but she is now food for worms, as the play says. I wear it in memory of what could have been."

Loki did not push the matter, knowing that she would tell him in time if the story was important to her, "Then let us rest and start tomorrow anew. Thank you, Bryn- I would never be here if not for you."

She squeezed his hands, "You're welcome. Now go get some rest- we can talk more in the morning." Loki nodded, let go of her hands reluctantly, and left. She waited a few minutes before walking to the window and waving to him as he laid down in bed. He smiled and then looked up at the stars.

Brynja got up early the next morning to unpack her trunks. She hung her most formal garments, most of them from Midgard, in the wardrobe, her purple robe shoved out of sight at one far end. Her day to day garments, which were also mostly Midgardian, she folded and tucked in the dresser- jeans, shirts, sweaters, and skirts, as well as her undergarments. Her books she placed lovingly on top. She organized her desk, hung up her quilts, and stacked the empty trunks by the door. The fourth trunk contained large, framed photographs and posters from her travels to Midgard. The oldest picture was her favourite. It was from her time in the 1930s. In it, she stood with her hands on her hips next to a tall, stunning dark-haired woman surrounded by adoring fans, both of them winking to the camera, their hair and makeup the height of glamour, their dresses heavy satin. She set it on top of the other frames on her bed and put the final trunk in the stack. She propped the photograph of her and the Starlet up on the trunks and added next to it one of the same very pretty woman under rumpled silk sheets, laughing, in a very large bed, a cigarette in a long holder in one hand. The concert posters from the 1960s and 1970s she propped up on the floor against the wall around the room. She left the footlocker closed at the end of her bed. The things in there had been there for many years and would stay there until she really needed them.

She sat down at her desk and wrote a quick letter to her mother, " _We have arrived safely. It is cold, but our rooms have fireplaces that keep them warm enough for us. King Halifrey has been quite kind and his son, Bel, has helped us to ready our rooms. Loki's room has two windows and he placed his bed under them so he could fall asleep watching the stars._ "

After writing, she went to the windows and opened one of them, tossing her letter to the winds, watching as it transformed into a white bird and flew off until it was only a speck in the sky. She looked to Loki's room- he was no longer in bed. She tossed on a bathrobe and went to see if he'd found the bathroom. A good long shower sounded like the right way to start a new day.

When she knocked on his door, he answered immediately and was a little startled by the sight of her in pajamas and a bathrobe, "Ah...hello?"

"Good morning to you, too. Where's the bathroom? I feel like I need a long bath," she responded.

He walked her down the hallway to the last doorway before the intersection, "Here- there is a tub and the water is warm. I've indulged already this morning." She thanked him and promised to meet him for breakfast as soon as she was dressed for the day.

 


	12. Chapter 12

During their first few weeks, Loki kept his distance from the Jotun in the temple, afraid that his lineage would be discovered or that he would somehow break the bargain accidentally and trigger his own death. Brynja, on the other hand, talked to them as often as possible. Loki began to withdraw from her during their third week, declining to accompany her to breakfast and lunch, barely consenting to come to dinner. Brynja was worried, but kept her thoughts to herself, not wanting to push him and risk driving him away.

Loki, on the other hand, was using Brynja's silence to convince himself that she had lost interest in their friendship and was building up his frustration, anger, and loneliness to the point where he turned his back to the windows when he slept so that he could avoid seeing across to her breakfast table.

When he stopped accepting her invitations to dinner, Brynja finally decided she had to do something. After supper about a month after their arrival in Jotunheim, she knocked on his door and hoped he would answer. He did, but he did not ask her to step in.

"Brynja. And why are you here? Do you suddenly have something to say to me?"

By his tone, Brynja knew there was trouble coming, "I'm worried about you, Loki. You're only eating every few days, you've stopped talking to me, and you look very tired."

His voice was biting as he replied, "Oh, so suddenly the princess is worried about the Traitor. How sweet. As though he might not actually be so terrible a monster."

She refused to be goaded into an argument, "Loki, stop. Please. You are my friend."

Loki gestured for her to enter the room and she closed the door; the moment she did, he turned on her, "Your friend? Your friend? You are a child of Odin, you cannot be a friend. Your father would see to it that you had every move planned. Tell me, Brynja, did he order you to be close to me so that he might clear his cell and not have to execute me himself? So he could send me somewhere I would ultimately be killed? What is your part in all this?"

Brynja was shocked and hurt by his accusation and spoke softly in reply, "Loki, I wouldn't have tied my fate to yours if I didn't care about you. Moving to Jotunheim wasn't on the list of things I wanted to do before I died. Just stop, don't do this. Don't push me away."

"Push you away? You who haven't yet asked why I've been refusing meals or not leaving this room? You who haven't bothered to ask why I haven't supped with you the past few evenings? So much  _concern_...such _kindness_!" he said cruelly.

Brynja bowed her head, "I'm sorry, I gave you the space I thought you needed." She turned from the door.

"And yet you  _still_  do not ask."

She shook her head, "No. If this is how you are going to talk to me, I'm not going to. I won't stand here waiting for you to chastise me further. We're done here." She left. After the door closed, Loki dropped into bed and pressed his face into the pillow fighting back tears. It was so easy to push Brynja away. So easy to break the fragile friendship she had started building while he lived in the cell. He hated himself just a little more for having been so wicked to her, but he could not help himself. He once again told himself the lies he had been trying to convince himself were truth all week- it was in his nature to be cruel. It was in his nature to be the monster.

Loki was not the only one crying into his pillow that night.

It took Brynja three days to decide how she was going to approach Loki. As she thought about everything he had said, she saw less of the words and more of what they had done. He was playing Hamlet to her Ophelia, pushing her back, severing ties. She could only guess that the reason had to do with difficulty adapting to life outside the cell. Instead of trying to talk to him, she started bringing him dinner. She knocked, waited for him to answer, and handed him a plate. She never said a word to him, but continued this for a week. He did not speak, either.

At the end of the week, she brought him lunch, "Loki, can we talk?"

He took the plate and turned away, leaving the door open, "If you insist."

Brynja closed the door behind her, "Stop trying to Ophelia me, Hamlet. I'm not keen on this role."

Loki sat on the edge of his bed and started eating, "Explain."

"You're intentionally pushing me away- 'If thou dost marry, I give thee this plague for thy dowery' and all that."

He rolled his eyes, "Oh, this again."

"Cut the crap, Loki. You can't handle life outside a box or life inside a box so you are instead choosing no life at all. You're isolating. You're going to shut me out as completely as you can so you can try to pretend you are still in a cell, someone else making every decision that will ever effect you. I'm guessing you're overwhelmed, scared, ashamed of just about everything, and unwilling to ask for real help. I don't know what it's going to take to snap you out of this, but if you don't, you're going to end up actually going batshit crazy, not just being Hamlet crazy. I've seen it happen to people. I don't want to see it happen to you. When you can, please, ask," she said.

Loki stared at her, his fork hovering over his plate as he tried to figure out how to respond, "Don't bother bringing dinner tonight. I won't need it. Now go, I want to be alone."

Brynja sighed, "Sure. But remember I'm just around the corner. You don't ever have to be afraid of asking for my help, even if you think the question is stupid."

He gestured to the door, "Again, leave." She did as he asked.

As soon as she was in the hallway, she started worrying just why it was he said he wouldn't need dinner.

That evening, Brynja finished her own supper and created a plate for Loki despite his protest earlier in the day.

While she was gathering things for him to eat, Loki was sitting on his bed, his dagger in his hands. Just one jab, that was all it would take to end this suffering, he thought as he pushed aside his shirt and scratched the blade over his heart. He winced as it caught on his skin and dug a little deeper than he had intended for this particular moment. He chastised himself. Stabbing himself in the chest would hurt far more than the catch of the blade and he needed to remember that he could handle it for the brief moment it would take for him to die. Loki stared at the knife and then took a deep breath. He positioned the tip right where he wanted it and was getting ready to shove it into his heart when there was a knock on the door. He ignored it. Then came a second knock. He ignored that one as well, steeling himself for the pain and reminding himself that the faster he could get this over with, the less likely it was that he would have to open the door for whomever was on the other side.

At the third knock, he resolved to finish what he had started later that evening and set the dagger down beside him on the bed, "And what is so urgent that you must knock thrice?" he called.

"Loki, it's me. I need to talk to you," Brynja answered.

He sighed, "If you must, come in."

Brynja entered and brought Loki his plate, "Supper. I thought you might like something to eat." He would have protested, but she was dressed in a gown that truly made her look like royalty- long blue navy blue and black layered skirts, her top covered with a long black and blue woven shawl, her hair pinned up with dark gems so the sparkle in her ears was visible. He went silent, stunned by her beauty and grace, finding a moment of regret in his decision to die. He thought, for only a moment, of how incredible a queen she would be if Thor declined Asgard's throne.

Loki accepted the plate and sat quietly eating. Brynja sat down beside him, carefully sliding the dagger around to her other side. She tried not to indicate to Loki that she had a good idea of what he was planning. She needed to give him the chance to adapt to her presence before she spoke.

"I need to apologise to you. I realised that I've been expecting you to adapt to this place just like I can. You can't. You've been in a cell, isolated, for fifteen years. I would think you'd have a very difficult time getting used to someplace that was once familiar to you. You've had to get used to someplace completely new, and not only new, but someplace you've been told your entire life is the home of the enemy...and someplace you learned was your origin not all that long ago. This has got to be really overwhelming, to the point where tuning out is the best thing you can figure to do in order to cope. I'm so sorry that I haven't been thinking about this from your point of view."

Loki did not answer, lost in thought. Brynja placed her hand on his back and he jumped, nearly dropping the plate, every muscle tensing. She did not move her hand. His breathing was quick, shallow, and anxious. She gently brushed her hand between his shoulder blades and waited for him to calm down.

"Bryn, I can't do this. Do you realise that I'm afraid of every sound? That every time I leave this room, I am watching my back, believing still that the darkness in the universe is around the corner, waiting to spring on me and beat me until I can no longer move...or that Thor awaits with his hammer, Sif and the warriors three at his side, ready to punish me for everything I've done wrong? It is exhausting. You have no idea what I saw when I fell from the Bifrost. There are terrible things out there, Brynja, and I feel like they are all always watching me, ready to spring at any moment. I don't want to be this way."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, "I understand. Or, rather, I can't understand, but I will do my best to try." She felt the muscles in his back slowly relax as they sat together quietly while he finished his supper and set the plate on his bedside table.

When he finally did speak, he reached for her free hand and took it in both of his, "I accept your apology. I have done nothing to help you understand. I am not used to having anyone to tell anything to, let alone on a daily basis."

"We'll do better as we learn how. Both of us. Perhaps tomorrow we can try lunch together, and then do a little walking if you feel up to it. Take dinner together in one of our rooms until you are ready to venture out for it."

"Perhaps," he answered, thinking that her plans for the morning would be irrelevant, but at least they would be right with one another before he killed himself.

She rose and took his plate, "I'll get this back to the kitchen. You get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

After she left, Loki looked for the dagger and found where she had moved it. He began to mentally prepare for the pain and once again pulled aside his shirt so he would be absolutely sure to pierce his heart quickly. He took a deep breath and pressed the blade against his skin. His hand faltered, though, as he thought of Brynja finding him in the morning, dressed elegantly, her tears falling as she cradled his body and sobbed. The image of her so distraught made him glance down at the dagger, realising that his death would hurt her deeply and leave her alone in both Jotunheim and Asgard. He stared at the blade as his resolve broke. He did not understand how one person could have so much of an effect on his plans. No one had before. Not his mother, not Thor, not the fear of the Allfather. He slowly set the dagger on his bedside table and laid down in bed, wondering just how she had gotten under his skin, while at the same time chastising himself repeatedly for being such a coward that he could not even make the decision to kill himself quickly.

 


	13. Chapter 13

True to her word, Brynja brought Loki breakfast and sat across from him, still in bed, as they ate together in front of the windows. Today she was dressed in layers of clothes from Midgard that only somewhat matched. Once she finished eating, she set the plate on his bedside table and stretched out on top of the blankets next to him as he slowly ate, wondering if he should tell her about his thoughts the night before. She tugged a little handwritten book of poetry from her pocket and began to read it out loud as they sat together.

He finished breakfast and listened to her as she read a poem about everyone being part of mankind and even a clod of dirt being washed away diminishing the whole of the land. It also had a bit at the end about a bell that he figured was part of how Midgardians must signal that someone had died.

"Bryn, stop for just a moment, please?"

She nodded, "Of course. Is something wrong?"

Loki sighed, "Likely. There was last night, for certain." She closed the book and waited for him to continue, "Oh, it has nothing to do with you reading. I love hearing you read and tell stories. But I very nearly missed it." He realised that he was just confusing her and hadn't actually told her what was wrong, "I'm not speaking very well. I...I know you saw the dagger yesterday when you brought me dinner..."

Brynja turned towards him and nestled under his arm, "You were going to kill yourself, weren't you?" He nodded, his eyes downcast. "I thought as much when I sat down with you last night. You've been so distant and there is nothing here to stop you from ending your life. What changed your mind?"

He leaned his head on hers, "The thought of you finding me, of leaving you alone. I couldn't do it; not for myself, of course, but for you. Not Mother or Thor or anyone else."

She took his hand, "Thank you."

He watched her as she draped her knee over his leg and placed their hands over his heart, "Can I do this, Brynja? Can I find life here?"

She smiled, "Yes. I'm right here to help you, Loki. I won't let you walk this path alone. And if the things that go bump in the night come after you, I'll Witch them to death, theirs or mine."

Loki kissed the top of her head, "Darling Brynja...you can't defeat everything that came after me in the abyss. It's beautiful to know you would try, but it would only kill you."

"Then I'll take a few of them down with me. I'm not weak, Loki. I know magic from two realms and have mastered things that are far darker than a respectable princess ought to know. I'm kind of a bad-ass. I know I can't take on the universe and win, but if it comes to that kind of fight, us against whatever is out there, you can bet I'll cause some major damage before they get to us," she answered.

"Us?" he asked.

"Yep, us. Nobody screws with my friends and gets away with it," she replied.

Loki smiled and offered her space under the blankets with him as she shivered in the morning chill. She accepted and slipped next to him, cuddling beside him. She closed her eyes in the warmth of his bed and drifted back to sleep not long after. He joined her in sleep, wondering how she trusted him, how her heart could stand to wait for him to find his feet, and how he ever got so lucky as to have her calling him a friend.

As the week went on, Brynja was able to coax Loki from his room for lunch and extend their walks after to the point where he was out with her until it was time for dinner, which they took together in her room at the small table in front of the windows. They started their days with breakfast in his bed, often following it with either time to read together or to nap while the morning rain or snow raged outside. By the time the second month of their stay in Jotunheim ended, Loki was taking supper with Brynja every other day. By the end of their third month, he was meeting her at her door to walk to breakfast. They still went back to his room after and curled up together under the blankets, leaving the warmth of his bed for lunch and walks through the halls. As four months passed, he had started going walking with her after their nap as well as after lunch. After dinner, they spent their time telling stories and casting enchantments to illustrate the tales.

It was during their fifth month that Brynja woke from their after-breakfast nap to find Loki leaning over her, staring out the window to the plain outside of the temple, a large grin on his face. She nudged him and he nearly fell on her, surprised that she was awake.

Brynja laughed and shoved him over, "What's so fascinating out there, Loki?"

He tucked one knee up under his chin, "Watch."

She turned on her side and looked out the window. A Jotun guard was circling a strange looking dark spot in the air. When he poked at it or moved closer to it, it spat out a replica of the guard. There were about ten guard copies standing around the spot, milling about aimlessly.

"You've been playing with them," she said, amused.

He nodded, "Oh yes. The copies will vanish a few minutes after they appear, but he's been quite persistent, stabbing at the spot, darting in towards it, and he's made a fair few."

She pushed him with her foot, "You'd better tell me nobody's going to get hurt from this."

Loki shook his head emphatically, "Oh no, the copies can't do anything but stand around. Of course, I'm not entirely sure what will happen if he dives right into it, but I'm sure it won't hurt him."

Brynja pushed him with her foot again, grinning, "Trickster."

He shrugged and smiled at her playfully, "It's in my nature, Bryn."

"I'll take it as a good sign that you've started to get bored," she replied.

"Bored? Oh no, Bryn, the fun's just beginning!" Loki laughed as he pointed outside to where a second Jotun was prodding the copies, watching as they popped. His face turned serious for a moment, "This doesn't break our bargain, does it? No lies, no trickery, no deception?"

She shook her head and smiled, "No, this is just mischief. So long as no one gets hurt, we're OK."

Loki sighed, "Oh thank goodness." He then broke into a wide grin, "Does that mean I can make mischief for you, too?"

She poked his arm, "So long as you can take it as good as you give it!" She winked at him, smiling.

"Oooh, a challenge!" he replied, obviously thrilled by her playful answer.

Brynja sat up and Loki put his arm around her shoulder as she tugged the blanket around her legs, both of them giggling as the Jotun below explored Loki's illusion.

Having gained Brynja's permission, Loki thought for a few days about just what he would do to begin the game of mischief he wanted to play with Brynja. He felt like he knew her well enough to have fun, but not quite well enough to know if she would slap him if he made snakes appear in her bed. He decided to start small.

About a week after Loki's mischief on the plain, Brynja went to take a bath and discovered the water in the tub was pink. When she finished her bath, she realised that her hair was also now pink. When he met her for breakfast, she had accented it with oversized silk flowers tucked in a large messy braid, her clothes bright and mismatched.

"Well this is a new look, Bryn," he said.

She grinned, "I rather like it- do you think I should turn it pink permanently?"

Loki laughed, "It's only an illusion, but it looks good on you. It will fade in a day or so."

Brynja danced down the hall as they made their way to breakfast, "You just wait, darling, I'll think of something just as good for you!"

The next morning, Loki found his bath full of goldfish that nibbled at him and tickled his toes. Brynja heard him laughing down the hallway.

When she lit the fire that evening before bed, her flames kept escaping, skipping out of the fire, turning into smoke bats, and disappearing.

Loki found toads in his bed that night. Toads that preferred to sit on his chest and stare at him as he slept.

When they took lunch the next day, Brynja's silverware melted. She stole Loki's as flowers sprouted from his wine glass. Both of them were laughing as they took their walk, leaving little bits of mischief in their wake.

When they collapsed onto her bed with books for storytelling that evening, they were both too tired for magic and instead just read his Blake book and studied the pictures together. It was late when Brynja dozed off leaning against him. Loki carefully picked her up and slipped her under her blankets, tucking them around her as she settled against the pillows.

She woke only briefly as he bent down to kiss her forehead to tell her goodnight, "Truce, Loki?" she asked before his lips could brush her skin, partially asleep.

He smiled and brushed her cheek with his fingertips, "Truce. Only once in a while from here out."

She nodded, "That sounds nice. 'Night, darling."

Loki kissed her forehead and tugged the blanket up to her shoulders, "Goodnight, Brynja." He left the room as quietly as he could, closing the door soundlessly, realising as he readied himself for bed just how long it had been since he had played with anyone and how much even longer it had been since someone had truly appreciated the game and wanted to play, too.

 


	14. Chapter 14

They had been in Jotunheim for six months when Loki let Brynja ask Bel to take them on a tour of the temple to tell them of the history of the realm. Loki's hesitancy to be seen or to speak to any of the Jotun who occupied the temple on a daily basis had kept him from being willing to take such a tour before, but the changes Brynja had brought to his daily routine had made him more comfortable and he finally consented to hear about the Jotun perspective of history, including of Asgard's wars against them.

Bel walked them far from the hallways they were used to travelling through to passages deep in the temple with walls richly painted in murals telling the stories of Jotunheim. Bel passed the torch he carried in front of each section of the paintings as he spoke. Loki grew pale as he came to the story of the war against Odin, wondering if his own fate would be depicted. Brynja noticed him holding his breath and slipped her hand in his. There was no image showing a Jotun baby left on a rock to die. There was no illustration of Laufey's child at all, not until the birth of Halifrey. Loki was silent, lost in thought.

Bel glanced at his guests and read Loki's face, "History did not record your birth- you were not a lauded child of the king, this you must know. Your father was ashamed of your small stature and when you disappeared, he decided it meant that your fate had been sealed, no more discussion of you was needed. Laufey was not a compassionate king. Many were glad to see his reign end, though others were convinced it had not been cruel enough, that our defeat at the hands of Odin was a slight we could not live down, something that ought to have been swiftly and brutally avenged and those who had failed to die in the first war sent in as the first wave of sacrificial deaths." He turned back to the wall and continued the history lesson, glancing back occassionaly to make sure that both Brynja and Loki were still following.

As they returned to the upper levels of the temple, Loki was quiet. She did not know what he was thinking, but intended to find out once they returned to their quarters. Loki let go of her hand and caught up to Bel, intent on asking him about something in the history lesson.

Bel greeted an old Jotun as they passed in the hall. There was something about this new face that made Brynja leery. She walked a little faster, trying to move closer to Loki and Bel, now in conversation, tugging her shawl tightly around her as she did.

As she reached the old Jotun, he stepped from where he was leaning on the wall and separated her from the others, "And just what do we have here? Such a pretty little trinket."

Brynja curtseyed lightly and introduced herself cautiously, "Brynja of Asgard. And you are?"

He did not reply, but stepped aside as if to let her pass, "Ah, the Asgardian..." She nodded and went to step past him, but he grabbed her bare arm as she did, "See to it that you mind yourself, brat."

Brynja cried out in pain the moment his hand touched her skin. She writhed away from him, but he held her tightly until he finished speaking and then tossed her against the wall away from the Loki and Bel. He advanced towards her, but Loki moved more quickly and managed to shove by him and place himself as a shield over her. She was shaking, her arm tucked up under the soft grey shawl she had draped over her shoulders.

Bel thundered, "OTHIK!" and grabbed the old Jotun by the throat, throwing him down the long hallway, far away from Loki and Brynja. They began to fight.

Loki spoke to Brynja, "Show me what he did to you, Bryn."

She shook her head and managed to stammer, "My room. In the footlocker."

He tried to get her to stand up, but she could not uncurl her body as she instinctively protected her damaged arm. Loki adjusted his stance and placed one hand on her back, instructing her to wrap her good arm around his neck. He slipped his other arm under her legs and lifted her.

He glanced back at Bel, who was pummeling Othik, "He'll be fine." He carried Brynja down the hallway, feeling her flinch and shudder as the pain flared through her. He hadn't seen whatever Othik had done, but he had heard Thor's lauded warriors scream in pain as they were touched by Jotun soldiers, the cold of their bodies so brutal that it caused the skin to blacken and blister in only a moment. He held Brynja a little tighter as he realised what she must be going through. She was silent their entire journey except for the few moments when the pain would become so intense that she would swear through clenched teeth, her arm around his neck tightening to the point where he had to stop a moment to adjust his hold on her.

When they arrived at her room, he gently set her on her feet and opened the door. She attempted to take a few steps into the room, but staggered and started to sink to the floor. He caught her and swept her up in his arms, gently laying her down on her bed.

"Brynja, what do I do? Do I need to call on Freyja for aid?" he asked.

She shook her head and spoke through clenched teeth, "No. Open my footlocker. I will tell you what you need." He opened the little trunk at the end of the bed and stared at the elements of her Witchery that were stored within. Little bottles and jars of liquids and powders, sprigs of dried herbs, wands of different woods and items wrapped in black velvet. He had no idea what he was looking at and would have been completely unable to find any of what she requested he bring to her bedside if she had not carefully labelled every container.

Once her ingredients were assembled, she looked up at Loki and gestured for him to sit down, "You are going to make a poultice for me. You are going to have to then apply it to the bandages and wrap my arm."

He was terrified of the idea, "I am no healer and my sorcery is mostly illusion. I don't know how to do this. What if I do it wrong?"

She shook her head, "You won't. Just do as I say and you will be fine." He listened very carefully as she instructed him through her pain on how to crush the herbs, how to blend the ingredients together, and how to put everything in order so that he could bandage her wound when the poultice was ready, "Loki, bandaging this is going to hurt me. You are going to have to hold my elbow and wrist when it is at its worst to keep me from jerking my arm back to my chest. The way this is bandaged is nearly as important as what you put in the bandage. Can you do this?"

He nodded, "I haven't any other choice, Bryn. If I must, I must."

She took a deep breath and pulled back the shawl as Loki took her elbow and wrist to guide her arm out into the light. His breath caught in his throat as he surveyed the damage. Othik's handprint was clearly visible around her forearm, her skin black and peeling. Brynja began to tell him how to bandage her arm, wrapping the strips of fabric around her arm in two crossing spirals bound around by two tighter loops that covered all the gaps between the first two pieces of fabric. Four times he had to stop to hold her arm out from her body as she cried out in pain and tried to fight him for her arm. After each time, she collapsed back on the bed, tears in her eyes, and kept up her instructions to carry on with bandaging.

When he had finished, he tucked a sprig of something dried, as instructed, in the outer layer of the bandages and put away the little bottles and jars with the extra bandages. He returned to her bed where she was obviously exhausted, her brow sweaty, face flushed. He pushed her hair back from her face and gently tucked her bandaged arm close to her chest, draping her shawl back over it and straightening her skirts.

"Did I do everything right?" Loki asked.

Brynja nodded and smiled, reaching up for him with her good arm; he leaned in and she placed her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer, "Perfectly, Loki. Welcome to my Witchery."

"But I cast no spell," he protested.

She replied, "You did, you just didn't know it. That spell works through the tenderness of the hands performing it. It has no words, just care and a gentle touch. The herbs work best when applied by someone who genuinely cares about the person being bandaged. They are already doing their job. The pain is subsiding. You did exactly what you needed to."

He smiled back at her, "Is there anything else you need?"

She nodded, "Could you sit with me until I fall asleep?"

Loki kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes. He waited until her breathing was deep and even before he stood up and went to get his dinner. He returned to the room with it and sat at her bedside until morning.

Brynja met Loki for lunch later in the day, layers of long skirts and draped shawls hiding her bandaged arm. He watched her struggle to keep it concealed and wince every time she had to move it. They skipped their walk after lunch and instead went back to her room. She settled against her pillows and patted the bed next to her. Loki sat beside her.

Brynja leaned very carefully against him, trying not to move her arm, "And now I'm exhausted again. These herbs accelerate healing, but that doesn't mean my body doesn't have to put a lot into it to do what the herbs command."

"Do you unwrap the wound to check on it, or just let it heal?" Loki asked.

"In a few days, we unwrap it. For now, we let it sit," she answered. She winced as she shifted her shoulder against Loki, trying to keep her arm steady.

A look of concern crossed Loki's face, "Bryn, you need a sling to keep that arm still."

Brynja nodded, "I know, but I couldn't make one this morning. I tried, but it's too hard to make knots with only one hand."

He gently teased her, "And the powerful Witch of Asgard can't use Witchery to tie good knots?"

She smiled, "They never turn out tight enough."

"So what do you want it made from, Little Witch?" he asked.

She pointed to the long multicoloured scarf draped over her desk chair, "That. It's a lot wider than it looks because it is so thin, but the fabric is strong." Loki carefully rose from the bed and found the scarf. He helped her take off her shawls and very gently draped the sling around her arm, bringing the fabric up around her neck to adjust it and tie it off. He offered to help her put the shawls back on, but she only asked for one, a light grey one knit from a soft fibre he could not identify. She let him drape it over her shoulders and then asked for him to join her on the bed so she could curl up next to him and nap. He fell asleep shortly after she did.

This became her pattern for a few days- she would sleep through breakfast, join Loki for lunch, nap with him after, and then they would go together to dinner, reading in the evening, Loki departing only once he had seen Brynja tucked safely in bed, a spell cast over her door to ward off intruders. Loki worried every night that she would be attacked while she slept, but she assured him that the spell would protect her.

Once her body began to allow her to wake for breakfast, she knew it was time to unwrap the wound and see how healing was progressing. She asked Loki to help her.

Loki unwrapped the bandages cautiously, not only out of fear of hurting her, but also afraid of what her arm would look like once it was uncovered. Layers of blackened skin fell away with the last round of bandage. Her arm was deeply scared, some of the damaged skin still clinging to the damp pink skin that had begun to replace it.

Brynja examined her arm as Loki took care of the refuse, "Nothing looks out of sorts. It's working rather nicely. The lower layer is still very soft, though, so we have to be very careful when we rebandage it- make sure the balm completely covers the fabric so the skin doesn't grow into it."

Loki took a deep breath, ready to follow her directions, "Just tell me what I need to do." Once again, she walked him through preparing her bandages and wrapping her arm. Once again, he approached his task very carefully. After, he helped her get her arm back in the sling and offered to find her a shawl, since she was dressed in Midgardian skirts with long knit leg warmers and an oversized cardigan draped over her shoulders, the sleeve only on one arm. She refused the offer and asked for him to instead find a book to read to her.


	15. Chapter 15

It took a few days for Brynja to feel up to waking the halls with Loki, so he walked by himself, exploring the darker recesses of the temple, hoping not to encounter anyone else as hostile as Othik. He often noticed that he was being followed by Bel, which would normally have greatly irritated him, but given the unprovoked assault on Brynja, was somewhat comforting.

He made his way down to the deeper lowers of the temple and found rooms of treasures- gems, gold, relics of days long gone. Loki touched very little, but once in a while, his curiosity got the better of him and he would run his fingers along a trunk of jewels or watch as his fingertips turned blue after brushing them along one relic or another. On the third day of exploration, he came across a smaller room containing odd things that he did not recognise. He touched nothing until his eyes were drawn to something blue and glowing in a corner. It shed light the same way the Cask of Ancient Winters did, the same way the Tesseract had. He reached for it and felt the familiar tingle as his fingers turned blue. When he pulled back, though, the blue did not stop and recede, rather it continued to climb up his arm. Loki panicked and pulled his cloak around him, tugging the hood over his eyes, and darted from the room. Outside the treasury, he ran into Bel.

"Why do you leave in such a hurry, Loki?" he asked.

"Because I touched something and it did this," Loki replied, showing only his cheek.

Bel's eyes narrowed, "This is not your usual reaction to our relics. Where was it? Show me." Loki did as he was asked, staying far from the glow as Bel lifted it from the corner, "I do not know what this is called...but I have seen it before. Halifrey has spoken of it, though never with a name. I do not know what it would do to an Asgardian, but I believe the effects you see will wear off in a few days to return you to what you know. The stories speak of an object that could darken Jotun hides and give them greater stealth under cover of darkness. This is that relic, its name lost."

Loki tugged the cloak tighter around him, "A few days? If we are trying to avoid any hint of my past, I will have to stay away from others for that time. And what if it does not go away? What if it stays and I am like this forever? I cannot hide behind my illusions at all times."

Bel nodded, "We will deal with that situation if it happens." He looked over to Loki and noticed just how nervous he was, "Go, take comfort in your own room with your dear friend. You will need the peace she provides over the next few days."

Loki sighed and thanked Bel for the advice before bolting from the treasury, casting his illusion to shield himself from the eyes of those passing by. He was terrified of facing Brynja, his own self-loathing reflected in his belief that she would be repulsed by him in Jotun likeness.

When he swept into his room, he did not initially notice Brynja as she turned to leave, "Oh, sorry- I just finished writing you a note." Startled, his illusion faltered and faded. He pulled the hood of his cloak down to hide his face and retreated to the bed, his back to her. Brynja sighed, "What happened, Loki?"

Loki shook his head, his colour fading back to his Asgardian shade as he carefully restored the illusion in the same way that his skin would fade had he just let go of a Jotun relic, "I just touched something I shouldn't have. It's fine. See?" He turned to face her and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

Brynja sighed and knelt in front of him, "Loki...just talk. I know something is wrong, and I can see you're putting up a glamour for me." She crossed her arms over his knees and looked up at him.

He dropped the illusion and she reached for his hand, "No! Don't touch me, I don't know if I'll hurt you!" he said as he jerked away and covered his face in shame.

"You've never hurt me before, darling. I've held your hand, touched your hair, slept beside you...and you've always been Jotun." She reached up and touched his fingers, he recoiled, but she caught his hand, gently pulling it from his face, "No, Loki. I'm OK." She stood and sat beside him, keeping his hand in hers as she moved, "Now tell me what happened."

Loki still shielded his face from her with his free hand, "I touched a relic and it did this. Bel said it might last a few days- it makes their skin darker so they can hide in the night. The relic has no name, but apparently for me, it turns me like them." He stared at her hand in his, "Bryn, how can you stand to look at me like this?"

Brynja leaned her head on his shoulder, "If I could take your other hand in mine, I would. Let me see your face, Loki. Please."

"You didn't answer my question, Bryn," he said as he slowly lowered his hand, glancing over at her as though he was afraid to see her face when she saw what he looked like in Jotun skin.

She let go of his hand and saw his shoulders drop as though he took it as a rejection. She instead stroked his cheek, her fingers tracing the raised ridges that came with his transformation.

"Brynja, please...I'm hideous. This is not who I am."

She placed her arm on his back, "Yes, yes it is...it's one part of who you are." She watched his chin fall as she moved her lips closer to his cheek, "And you are not hideous, Loki. Not to me." She kissed his cheek softly and slowly, whispering in his ear after, "You're my dearest friend. Your heart is what I love, and you will always be beautiful in my eyes."

Loki turned towards her and embraced her, careful of her arm, but holding her as tightly as he could, "Thank you, Brynja. You are truly remarkable to find beauty in the wicked heart of the Lord of Lies."

She smiled as he nuzzled into her hair, "Despite what you tell yourself, it isn't so hard to find if you are willing to see it."

Loki did not entirely believe her, but decided that even if she was lying, the lie was comforting and he would not resist it. He gently pulled her down on the bed and they cuddled together until they realised they would miss supper if they did not move. After eating, though, they returned to his room and snuggled together under the blankets, falling asleep as yet another vicious storm ripped through the countryside just out their window. Loki knew Bel had been right- the peace Brynja brought was critical to coping with the next few days. He realised that Bel's statement had not quite looked far enough ahead, though- Brynja's company wasn't just critical to the next few days. Loki firmly believed, whether she truly saw beauty in his heart or not, that her friendship was crucial to his sanity.

Loki and Brynja stayed close to their rooms for a few days, his skin fading a little each day until the slight blue tinge was only noticeable under certain light. Only once he was back to what he considered normal did he resume walking with Brynja to meals and wandering the hallways with her after.

One evening, Brynja was sitting at the edge of her bed with a book, her sling recently tossed aside, waiting for Loki to return from a quick trip his room, wondering what he had gone to fetch. She decided patience was in order, though, since he was just starting to find his feet and to settle into Jotunheim as his home.

He knocked lightly on the door before entering. When he came in, he appeared to be wearing his armor, daggers in his belt. Brynja knew it was illusion, but did not ask him to remove it. She figured there was a reason he would enter this way, rather than as she usually saw him in a simple shirt and trousers. He took a deep breath before approaching the bed and dropping down on his knees.

"Brynja..."

"Yes, Loki?"

"This is what I see every time I look in the mirror. This is who I think I am every day, and have been for years. While I have not worn this in years, at least not outside of illusion, this and all I have done while this, is what I am. I am pride, I am deceit, I am vengeance. But I don't want to be the monster this time. I don't want to only be wickedness and anger," he said, his head bowed, refusing to make eye contact.

Brynja sighed, "Darling, you can't take your past back. If you want to change things from here on out, that's your descision, but not something I can do for you."

Loki shook his head, "Break me, Brynja. Shatter the Lord of Lies. Destroy what I have been and rebuild me." He still refused to look up at her.

She knelt down beside him and took his hands in hers, "I can't do that- you're already broken, you're already changing and rebuilding yourself. Would the Loki from decades ago have accepted Odin's bargain? Perhaps. Would he have promised me no lies? Possibly. Would he have kept that promise for this long?" She did not answer that question, instead waiting for him.

"No. No I wouldn't have," he said.

"Would he have even meant it when he promised it?" she asked.

"No," he answered.

She continued her questions, "And would he have hesitated to end his life?"

Loki could not immediately reply, but still did not look towards her, "I don't know. I have, in that respect, always been somewhat of a coward. I place myself in situations that will lead to death willingly, but my own hand has always been unsteady."

Brynja asked another question, "Would the Loki from days past have kept his hands to himself under the blankets?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Oh my...possibly, but not likely. My experiences with women tended to be the girls the others couldn't get to after victory feasts- one can only bed so many eager girls and while Fandral often tried to fill a room, he tossed me the girls he was not so keen on. I have little experience with women who I respect." He paused and then briefly smiled, "Actually, you are the only woman I have respected that I have had the opportunity to share sleep with."

"And what about the Loki who took Father's throne? Would he have?"

"Most definitely not. Others were just playthings to be used and cast aside. As Odin's daughter, you would have been a conquest I would have eagerly sought solely to humiliate you and to destroy your father."

"And now?"

He sighed and squeezed her hands, but kept his eyes downcast, "You are my only friend. I cannot dishonour you."

She asked another question, "Would the Loki who I watched fall from the Bifrost have stayed with me as I healed from Othik's touch?"

"I suppose that goes back to the lack of respected women answer," he said, "I have no idea. I've been short on friends most of my life."

"Were it Thor and not I, would he have?" she asked.

"No."

She nodded, "Have I convinced you yet that you are growing? That you are already becoming someone different and are rebuilding yourself?"

He shook his head, "No."

She let go of one hand and gently turned his chin so she could meet his gaze; he finally looked her in the eye when she started speaking, "Loki, the man I saw break in front of the Cask of Ancient Winters, crying out to Odin for the truth, who tried to kill Thor in New Mexico and who fell from the Bifrost, that is not the same man who sought out monsters and decided to destroy New York City in order to take over Midgard. I am seeing some of the before-the-fall you resurface- the part that feels rejection, longing, and pain...the part that feels anything, really. I am also seeing the man who was hell-bent on power by any means fade away. That person would not have been able to make the Witchery work that healed my arm. There was no kindness, no gentle touch, in the man I watched on the throne from my vantage point in the walls. There was no love in his heart for anyone, not even for himself. A heart like that cannot make the Witchery I use work. A heart like that can cast illusions, can cause fear and chaos, but cannot work with the older, deeper magic that you did on that day. If nothing else proves to you that your life is changing, let that fact convince you. You cannot lie to the oldest Witchery- it will not work or it will backfire terribly if you do. Neither happened when you bandaged my arm and took care of me in the days following."

Loki opened his arms, asking to be held; Brynja pulled him close and he let her words sink in, "Bryn, thank you. Please remind me when I need it. My mind is not where it should be."

She rubbed his back and gently rocked him as he took comfort in the embrace, "Of course, darling. I will do what I can. It's what friends do."

Loki felt relieved to hear her call him friend- she did it frequently, but every time was still a little bit of a surprise to him.

Brynja knew the road ahead was going to still be rough, but hoped that she would get to see him rediscover playfulness and joy before something went awry and he ended up sliding back into his pain and breaking the deal. She had some hope that he would not, but always in the back of her mind she wondered when something was going to trigger him to take the throne, sending her back to Asgard to a fate she was not looking forward to.

 


	16. Chapter 16

It was not quite a year into their stay that Loki asked Halifrey where it was he had been found as a child. Halifrey did not know for certain, but brought him to the most likely place in the temple complex. Loki sat beside the stone silently. Halifrey stepped out of sight. He heard Loki quietly curse Odin for bringing him to Asgard and for lying to him for so long. Then there was silence. Halifrey waited until he heard Loki moving to step forward to escort Loki back to his room. He did not mention the trip to any of his guards or even to Bel.

After he had arrived back in his own space, Loki sat down on his bed and wrote a letter to Frigga thanking her for all she had done to make him feel like her son. He took it to Brynja's room and asked her to send it.

Once the letter had flown out of sight, Brynja turned her attention to Loki, "Wherever you were this morning, it tugged your heart. Your eyes are still a little red. And I have that feeling that something isn't quite right, the Witchery one. Sit. Talk."

Loki sat down across from her at the little table, "I went to see where I was found." Brynja said nothing as Loki laid his head in his crossed arms on the table. She had no idea what to say to him. He broke the silence, his voice muffled, his arms still hiding his face, "I should have died here. Everything fell apart when I learned what I am."

Brynja placed one hand on his hair and gently brushed it with her fingers, "Brokenness leads us to greater things, Loki. There's a song in Midgard about a broken road and all that it brings- love, understanding...we are who we are because of the mistakes and pain along the way."

He looked up at her, bitter, "If Odin had just left me, none of those mistakes would have happened, Bryn. I would just be dead, still an innocent, not this."

"And I would be the poorer for it," she answered.

He shook his head, "You would not know the difference."

She sighed, "Actually, that's not quite true...one of the drawbacks of Witchery is that I see things that might have been, on occasion. Not often, but...I would have known someone was missing. I still have moments of 'might have been' about a Midgardian woman I knew many years ago."

"The woman with whom you shared a ring?" he asked. She nodded, but did not say anything more about her friend. Loki changed the subject, "Your magic is so much different than mine. Who taught you?"

"Mother began teaching me after I was tucked in the walls, after she started teaching you. In order to devote more time to your studies, she asked Freyja to look in on me and Freyja began to teach me her magic. I learned quickly. Freyja took me to her Witching room deep under her hall in the City of Asgard and we practiced complicated things that Father would have been horrified to know I was learning. I started reading her books in my spare time, old magic from Vanaheim that she had not mastered. Some of it I figured out, but most of it is still far beyond the both of us. It was then that she suggested we create the Witch."

Loki asked, "Bryn, was bringing back Mother one of the hardest spells you learned?"

Brynja shook her head, "Oh no, not at all. Freyja taught me that one. There are far more difficult spells out there- things that are just as likely to work as they are to kill the witch who tries them...or worse. Unfortunately I didn't practice many of the defensive spells- I didn't see that I would need them in Asgard. It was not until Mother died that I began to work with them."

A brief moment of fear and awe flickered across Loki's face, "You were the most powerful person in Asgard, weren't you?"

"No," she answered, "Magic is nothing without wisdom and I am still learning. Father's time nailed to Yggdrasil gives him power I will never have. I can work wonders, yes, but power is not just being a spell caster or master of illusion."

Loki sighed, "Why did he save me? What wisdom was there in that?"

She shrugged, "I don't know what he hoped. Probably to join the realms. Maybe you'll do that yet."

He looked out the window, his eyes distant, "No, no...Odin threw me away. He has no use for me, I have ruined his plans."

Brynja tried to keep her voice even, though she was getting frustrated with Loki, "Loki, Father had every right to execute you the moment you returned from Midgard and again after your plan for Asgard. Do you understand that? He should have, by every law we have, killed you. Twice. And here you are, at my breakfast table. Execution would have been throwing you away. He gave you another chance by letting you leave the cell."

Loki snapped back bitterly, "Oh, another chance? To do what, exactly? To pay back my debts to him? To clear my ledger? To try to be just like him? Like Thor?" He stood up and shoved aside the chair, "Damn it, Bryn, if that's my chance, I'd rather take the odds against a blade than wait around to see if I can play-act the perfect son."

She watched him pace, "You will never be just like Thor because you are Loki. That does not mean you cannot make them proud by being exactly who you are."

Loki shook his head, "No, Bryn. I will never make Odin proud. Mother, perhaps, if she can forgive me for everything else I've done, but never Odin." He sighed, "This conversation is going nowhere. I'm sorry, Bryn. I can't do this right now."

Brynja quickly spoke as he turned to go, "Promise me if you walk out of here, you won't hurt yourself."

He nodded and left the room. Brynja sat down on the edge of her bed and listened to his footsteps. Wherever he was going, it was not back to his room. She hoped he would not do anything that would endanger himself, but she knew that was still a distinct possibility.

They saw each other at mealtimes, but exchanged very few words. Loki kept his distance. He did not visit Brynja's room, he did not wave to her from the window before bed, and he did not tell her what books he was currently re-reading. She did not push the matter too far, though she was worried by his silence. It took a few days for him to calm down enough to greet her in the halls, but about a week later he reached the point where he wanted to talk. He knocked on her door.

When she answered, she did not immediately step aside to let him in, "Yes?"

"We need to talk, Bryn," he answered.

Brynja nodded and let him in; she sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at him expectantly, "And?"

He took a deep breath and was obviously uneasy, "No lies, no trickery, no deception. I've been made a proposition."

"I'm not going to like what I'm going to hear, am I?"

He shook his head, "No, very much not." He stepped closer to her and gestured to the space next to her on the bed, "May I?" Brynja patted the bed beside her and he sat down very close, "There are factions among the Jotun who are not happy with Halifrey's reign. Othik approached me a few days ago with an offer. He knows who I am. He knows I am the son of Laufey. They are prepared to place me on the throne if I want it and to force me to take the throne if I don't want it."

Brynja rested one hand on Loki's back, her other she slipped in his hand, "Loki, please remember the bargain. And remember what Othik did to me."

He sighed, "It's not so simple now, is it? What am I to do with my future if I am always living in fear? If this is likely not a true choice, I might as well accept and avoid the unpleasantness that would follow were they to force me." He paused, his voice barely above a whisper when he continued, "And I remember all too well what Othik did to you. I never want to have to hear you cry out in agony like that again," he let go of her hand and rested his fingers on her scar, "It is what reminds me that they can do more than just kill me if I mis-step."

She bowed her head, "Please, just think of how Father will respond. I don't want to be married off to someone I don't know because he's impressed Father the most often."

"I will, Bryn. But if I'm given the throne, it's not the same as taking it."

"Father will not see it that way."

Loki stood and stepped towards the door, "Then we'll just have to make it very clear that's what happened, if it happens."

After he left, Brynja fell back on the bed, "Please let there be another way."

The next morning, Loki arrived at her door to walk her to breakfast. They both were quiet, but not because of anger. Brynja had no idea what to say to Loki that would not end with her begging him to try to escape this offer. Loki was afraid that if he said anything, he would end up talking about it again and she would be hurt by it. As they returned from breakfast, he slipped his hand in hers to walk back to her room. After he closed her door, she heard his footsteps walk past the hallway that led to his room and sighed. After she was certain he was out of sight, she slipped from the room and made her way to the throne room to see if she could gain an audience with Halifrey.

She bowed to the guards outside, "Brynja, daughter of Odin, Princess of Asgard requests an audience with King Halifrey of Jotunheim at his soonest possible convenience."

One of the guards tipped his helmet to her, "Lady Brynja, King Halifrey is in conference at the moment. If you will wait, we will announce you after his conversation has finished."

She nodded, "Of course." She waited patiently in the hallway, silent. When someone exited the throne room, one of the guards entered, whispered to the guard inside, and stepped back out to hold the door open for her. She waited for the guard to announce her presence and then stepped inside, her head low.

Halifrey greeted her after the door closed behind her, "Brynja. It has been quite a while since you have come to see me. It surprises me that Loki is not with you."

She bowed before she replied, "It is Loki I come to speak to you about, sir."

Halifrey came down from his throne and stood in front of her, "Perhaps we should take this conversation to a more private location." Brynja agreed and he gestured for the two guards in the room to follow, "This way, please." She wondered just where they were going that was more secure than the throne room, with two guards behind her and the king in front. They entered a small antechamber from a door behind the throne and passed through it to an inner room with large stone benches. Halifrey gestured for the guards to stay outside and secure the door. "I know these are not accommodations you are used to, but please, try to make yourself comfortable."

She sat down on the edge of the bench and waited as he settled himself and waited for her to speak, "I...Loki came to visit me yesterday and revealed he has been talking to someone who wishes to place him on the throne whether or not he is willing. I know no details of the plans, but I thought you ought to know that Loki may break the deal with Asgard, whether he thinks he is breaking it or not."

Halifrey took a deep breath, "There are many factions among the Jotun. Some wish to go back to doing things the old way, the way that involved many wars and revenge. Others wish to remain neutral and rebuild our world after the damage caused when the Bifrost was used against us. Some wish to completely withdraw, doing nothing to rebuild or to build bridges. I have chosen to start reaching out. This frightens many who are afraid we will suffer the losses of the past all over again. This also frightens those who feel it is best to attack first, to reclaim the Cask of Ancient Winters and to destroy others before they destroys us. I do not know which faction Loki has been approached by. I can say that whichever it is, they will convince him that he has not broken the bargain, that he is merely taking what has been offered, possibly refusing to let him do any of the work himself. In exchange, his rule will be entirely under their control and he will be a puppet, unable to make any of his own decisions. Odin will not be convinced, either way."

Brynja nodded, "I told him that. I told him Father would see it as breaking the deal no matter how he uses his silver tongue. Father will just refuse to listen, believing it all to be lies. If Loki wins, I lose. If Loki loses, he dies. I do not think I can convince him to let this rest, though."

Halifrey watched her, "You care for him far more than even you are willing to admit. You are worried for the fate of the man you know will betray you. I will think on what you have told me. You must think on what you will do when he steps down this path. Your heart is heavy, Brynja. I see that clearly. Take care of yourself and do your best with Loki. We will deal with the consequences of his decisions as he makes them."

"Thank you. If you don't mind, I think I will go do some of that thinking," she responded. Halifrey opened the door for her and his guards escorted her back to the hallway. She returned to her room and pulled a book of the shelf. Ginsberg was good for when one felt like life was impossible. Especially Howl. She smiled a little as she read the first lines, comforted by the rhythm. Leaning back on her pillow, she read out loud, the sound of her own voice working with the cadence of the poem a familiar comfort, "I saw the best minds of my generation..."

It was the middle of the next day before Brynja saw Loki again. She was on her bed, propped up by pillows, once again reading Ginsberg, when he burst through the door, obviously angry. She had heard heavy footsteps in the hall, but did not expect his sudden intrusion and nearly dropped her book.

"You talked to Halifrey.  _What_  did you tell Halifrey?" he yelled.

She sat up and set the book beside her, "Simply that you had been tempted and I was worried."

Loki shook his head, "You had to have told him more than that. Bel said you'd been to him. WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

She stood up, "Loki, you didn't tell me anything more than that. What could I have told him? That I was afraid you'd break the bargain? How is that anything he didn't already know?"

He was pacing, "Bel knew who I'd been talking to. How? You had to have something to do with this, some of your Witchery. What have you seen?"

"I had nothing to do with whatever Bel told you. I suggest you ask Bel how he knew who you had been talking to- I didn't even reveal to Halifrey that I knew it was Othik you spoke to."

Loki's mind was racing, fueled by anger, his voice bitter, "You don't want me to ever be anything more than just Odin's pet. You, who always got to live freely on Midgard whenever you needed an escape. You who did god knows what without Odin's eyes on you constantly. You don't want to let me leave a cage, do you? Odin's cage for Halifrey's cage? Or perhaps a cage of your own making?"

Brynja's face hardened, "How dare you shame me for doing what made me happy when you are bitching about not being allowed to do the same?"

He stepped close to her, his voice low, his jaw clenched, "You said I'd be free and yet you keep trying to make this decision for me. I was born the son of a king- it is my birthright and I will BE a king and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

She sighed, "You're right, there isn't. You know as well as I that the bargain did not guarantee freedom for either of us. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try to persuade you to find a way out of this. My ass is on the line, too-"

He turned and stormed towards the door, interrupting her, "Oh, because this is all about you, isn't it? Such a terrible life you'll have if I make this work. It's not like Loki could protect you, is it?" He slammed the door behind him.

"-and I care too much about you to let you screw this up," Brynja finished as she sat back down on the edge of the bed and stroked the edge of her book, "And you couldn't protect me. You will never win against Father."

A few minutes later, someone knocked on her door. She answered it and found Bel on the other side. He asked to be let in and she gestured for him to enter.

"My guards tell me that Loki has left the temple. This is not a wise decision on his part."

Brynja walked over to the windows; she could see Loki below as he strode away from the temple, "What is he thinking?"

Bel replied, "He isn't. If my mention that I knew he had been speaking to old Othik has caused you trouble, I am truly sorry. A passerby mentioned he heard shouting coming from this room not long before Loki stormed past me in the hall."

Brynja saw Loki turn abruptly to walk a different direction, glancing over his shoulder as he did, "He was very angry. He knows I brought my concerns to your father."

"To his brother."

"Yes. Loki has deep scars that have not yet healed and his anger and pain is still so close to the surface," she responded. She then went to the footlocker and retrieved a bundle of worn black velvet. She took it to her table and unwrapped the object. It was a small glass ball about the size of her fists put together and a black cast iron dish. She set the dish on the table and the ball in it. "He doesn't like that I don't want him to accept the offer made to him, that I want him to fight to stay off the throne, even if he is a prince here. He's very angry about it. He has always felt like he had to be a warrior king like Odin, or at least a warrior with the potential to be king like Thor, in order to have any value. I think he has forgotten that he isn't either of them and that's fine. He's still worthy of friendship and love."

Bel watched her sit down in front of the glass, "What is it you are going to do there?"

"I've always called it Witchery. I'm going to watch Loki. I can watch anyone I've met or have passing knowledge of. Would you like me to tell you what Halifrey is doing at this moment?"

Bel smiled, "You can try."

She concentrated on the globe, muttered something in a language long lost, and watched for an image to appear, "I see the throne room, but it appears empty."

Bel replied, "It always will- the room is protected from most magic. There are exceptions, of course, but very few. Loki's illusions will never work there. You will never be able to see those in it with your glass, even if they are in the room. Odin could remove someone from the room, of course, if he needed to, but there are few who can break the protection on the room. Lady Freyja, thanks to those who were once so enamoured with her, has special privileges in the throne room. You, however, do not."

Brynja nodded, "Duly noted. Let's see what trouble Loki is getting into now that he is out of sight." She waited for an image to form and then described what she saw for Bel. "He's near what looks like a cairn. There are other cairns nearby, other Jotun in the area. Loki is wandering, still seething and angry."

"He is in a graveyard. Those buried there are the casualties of the war fought against Odin during which Loki was taken from here. Those tending the graves are most likely their children. It is not a safe place for him to be," he answered.

She kept watching Loki as he walked, his head down, a walking staff in hand, "Well it isn't safe out there anyway, given what he's wearing- he'll freeze in that cloak. He had his armor on when he barged in earlier. I don't know why. At least it will provide him with a little more protection from the wind."

"Does it look like he is going to meet someone?" Bel asked.

Brynja shook her head, "Not that I can tell. I don't know the layout of Jotunheim well enough to know if there is a destination on the other side of the graveyard."

"It has not been unheard of for meetings to take place among the graves, especially those meetings likely to result in more death."

She continued her narration, "It looks like he's crossed out of the graveyard, though, and into a sort of flatlands. There's not much here, not even cracks in the ground, but there is a fine layer of snow everywhere. It looks like the wind has calmed down. There's a shadow, someone's coming towards him."

Loki, meanwhile, had no idea that he was being followed out of the graveyard. He was too consumed by his own anger to be paying much attention to where he was going. It took him by surprise when a hand from behind landed on his shoulder and roughly spun him around.

"Asgard brat. What are you doing here?"

Loki replied, "Just walking."

The Jotun who had approached him glared at him, "No, you are not welcome here in Jotunheim."

"King Halifrey has offered his hospitality."

The answer he received came first in the form of rough, cruel laughter, "Oh, that fool Halifrey deserves to die, same as the rest of the house of Laufey, dishonoured cowards that they are." Loki wisely held his tongue and did not identify as Laufey's son. He knew he was in enough trouble without it. The Jotun grabbed him by the neck, lifted him up, and tossed him aside. "Leave this place, little man, before one of us kills you."

Loki got back on his feet gracefully and placed his walking stick a little in front of him, "Happily. If you will step aside, I will return to the temple."

"You don't understand, you will leave Jotunheim. There is no place for you here."

Loki replied a little more softly, "I've no other place to go."

The Jotun did not hesitate, "Then I will kill you."

Loki raised his staff in defense as a the Jotun sped towards him and delivered a blow that sent him reeling.

In her rooms, Brynja described the fight to Bel. She could not hear what had been said, but it was clear that whatever it was, the Jotun who said it was not happy with Loki's answers.

"Why the hell isn't he using his sorcery to get out of there?" she asked out loud. The fight was ill matched and when the Jotun formed his ice dagger at the end of his arm, she turned her attention briefly to Bel.

"I need you to promise me something," she said. Bel waited, expectant, "I need you to promise me that it won't be a crime against your people if I do something to protect Loki. I won't kill his attacker, but he won't get off lightly, either."

Bel gestured to the glass, "Whatever you deem necessary, I will vouch for. You have been nothing but honest during your time here and I have no reason to distrust you."

She returned her attention to the globe. Whatever had happened in the few seconds she had turned away had left Loki bleeding heavily and hunched on the ground, his staff out of reach. She took a deep breath and placed her hands on either side of the glass, muttering spells as her eyes flitted closed. She had to act fast, the fight had attracted others from the graveyard who looked none too concerned for Loki's future. Someone threw what looked like a rock or a piece of ice and it struck Loki's head. A second hit him and he wavered, one arm clutching his stomach, the other barely holding him off the ground. Brynja's spells grew louder and clearer and suddenly there was a dull thud felt even in the temple. In her glass, Jotun spectators and attackers were thrown backwards by an invisible force into the graveyard while the Jotun who struck the first blow was slammed flat to the ground as though hit by a giant fist. A light blue glow surrounded Loki as he collapsed, shuddering, blood pooling under him.

Brynja did not take her eyes off the glass as she addressed Bel, "Get someone out there to fetch him quickly. This Witchery takes a lot of energy and I can't hold it for too long."

Bel left the room without hesitation and she heard him giving orders in the hall. Brynja turned her concentration back to Loki. His breathing was ragged. She could feel his heart slowing. She took a deep breath and began to try to stabilize him while still keeping a protective shield over him. He was losing consciousness fairly often. She hoped Bel moved quickly.

When Bel's guards arrived at Loki's side, she dropped the shield and concentrated on keeping Loki alive. The effort was wearing her out, but she did not want to consider her other option. They brought him to the temple quickly, Halifrey meeting them outside Loki's door. While Bel watched over Loki, Halifrey went to get Brynja.

The knock on her door broke her concentration on the glass and she immediately realised that she ought to be working in person, rather than through the globe. She grabbed a satchel of herbs from her footlocker and answered the door. She wordlessly followed Halifrey to Loki's room where she found Bel carefully removing his armor.

Loki was soaked in blood, his breathing shallow. He was unconscious and his skin was tinged blue. She noticed that the blue was stronger where Bel had touched him. After Loki's armor was set aside, Bel stepped back and Brynja stepped forward. She surveyed the damage to his body and pulled herbs from her packet, tucking one sprig in his left hand, another in his hair, and a third she placed in the middle of his chest. She rested her hands over the gaping wound in Loki's stomach and began her Witchery, slowly knitting back together that which had been ripped apart while trying to also make sure he kept breathing and his heart kept beating. Her work took hours. By the end of it, he was barely alive and she was exhausted, but her Witchery was not yet done. She turned to focus on his heartbeat. It was faint and irregular. His breathing was no better. She wracked her brain for anything she could use to save him and came up with one spell. It was one of the most risky pieces of magic she knew.

She looked from Halifrey to Bel, "There is one thing more I can try. It is not a safe piece of magic. If I fail, he will die and it is likely I will, too. If this works and he lives, there's a good chance that I will die. If I don't die, I'm going to feel like hell for days. It is complicated, it is draining, and there's not much left to me at this point. I want you two to know how wrong this can go before I start it so you can think about where you'll bury us if this doesn't end well for one or both of us."

Halifrey simply nodded; Bel bowed his head, "I wish you would reconsider, but I know you will not."

Brynja turned her eyes back to Loki. She placed one hand over his heart and another over his lungs and began her spellwork, her own heart faltering and her breathing slowing. The spell would bring her body's patterns close to his and then return both to some sort of normal strength in the hopes that they would both remain there after. When she had first learned of this particular incantation, she had been astounded by how simple it sounded, yet how deadly it often was. The pages illustrating how it was done were filled with icons for death. She had showed the book to Freyja, who had explained that while the spell seemed simple, it was deceptive- to remain calm and in focus while your body matched that of someone dying was not easy and most witches who attempted to work this piece of magic lost control, lost consciousness, and died alongside whomever they were trying to save. The key to surviving it, Freyja had told her, was to simply ignore what was happening in your own body and focus on what was going to come out of the spell. She had also cautioned that it was far easier said than done.

More than once, Brynja's strength faltered and she dipped towards Loki. She recovered herself and increased the fervor of her incantation with what little strength she had. The process was very slow, taking far more time than it had to work his body back together. Halifrey and Bel stood stone still the entire time and simply waited to see what would happen. Neither spoke a word or moved an inch, afraid to break her concentration. It was completely dark out by the time she opened her eyes and removed her hands from his chest, speaking the last words of the spell.

Brynja looked at Bel, "I think I need to go rest now. If he is going to live, he will wake in the morning. If not, he will be cold and dead long before then."

Halifrey spoke, "And yourself?"

"I'm alive. I'm hoping to stay that way through the night."

Bel walked her to the door, "Then let me see you too your room."

Brynja clung to the wall as she staggered down the hall and turned the corner, her steps more uneven and less certain every time she moved her feet. By the time she was to her room, the wall was the only thing holding her up. Bel opened the door and she dropped to her knees to crawl to the bed. He watched her struggle to get up on it, but did not dare touch her for fear of hurting her further. Once she was on the bed, he closed the door and returned to Loki's room.

Halifrey still stood in the same place he had been when Bel had left, "Do you wish to stand vigil with me, Bel?"

Bel shook his head, "I would rather take care of the Jotun who did this, Father."

Halifrey nodded, "You know where you will find me if you need me during this long night."

Bel left the room hoping that their two guests would both live to see the dawn, even though one of them was quite likely planning an act of treason.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Loki awoke very late the next morning; he stared at the ceiling and spoke to no one in particular, "Am I dead? No...I hurt too much to be dead." He heard movement to his left and turned his head to see Halifrey approach his bedside, "It's unlikely you'd be here if I were dead." As he was turning back and struggling to sit up, he noticed his very ruined shirt, "And I'm fairly certain the dead don't wake up covered in blood." He brushed his hair back from his face and the herbs fell free, tumbling to his chest where he noticed one of the other sprigs. He picked it up, curious.

Halifrey chuckled, "No, Loki, you are not dead. You should be, by every law of nature, but you are not."

"Did your healers do this work?" Loki asked, studying the herbs.

Halifrey shook his head, "No, our healers could not have repaired you, as damaged as you were. This was magic, pure and dangerous."

Loki put the pieces together, "Brynja."

"Yes, Brynja. I have never seen someone work the way she does, nor has Bel. She is quite skilled."

"Where is she?"

Halifrey sighed, "In her room, I suppose. I have been sitting beside your bed all night. She was quite weak when she left. Whatever magic she used, she said it was as likely to kill her as it was to fail and leave you dead, which was quite a large probability. You are lucky to be alive. I do not know if she has been so fortunate."

Loki nearly jumped from the bed and dropped to his knees as his legs failed him, "Oh, god, I hope... The last things I said to her were quite unkind..."

"And yet she still came to your aid. Had she not told Bel where you were and kept an eye on you before and during the fight, working her magic to keep you from being killed on the plain, you would have had no hope of survival. You would have bled to death, your body freezing to the ground while you were pelted with ice and rocks, every jerk reaction to each strike tearing your body from the frozen ground, ripping you open a little farther. Keep in your mind that Brynja saved you from that, even with whatever you said to her before." Halifrey stopped him as Loki struggled to his feet and walked towards the door, "Do take a moment to bathe before you see her- your clothing reeks of blood and while the scent alone may wake her, if she is alive she will appreciate seeing you before she smells you."

Loki grabbed clothes from his wardrobe and walked quickly to the bathroom, nearly collapsing into the tub when he arrived. He was still far too weak to move as fast as he had and his body forced him to slow down. He bathed carefully, noting every bruise and scratch. He ran his fingers over his stomach, only a light pink indent where he knew he had been stabbed deeply, likely fatally, the blade having ripped up into his rib cage as his attacker had lifted him off the ground before throwing him aside. His head still hurt from where the chunks of ice had hit him and he found those bruises as he rinsed his hair. He took his time leaving the tub, hoping he would be more steady after having bathed. He was not. He dressed, leaving this ruined clothes in a heap in the corner of the bathroom, and then slowly walked the halls to Brynja's room, fighting the urge to run.

He knocked on her door; Bel answered, "You survived the night. That was unexpected. Do come in."

Loki entered and saw Brynja crumpled on the bed, "Is she...?"

"I do not know. I cannot touch her without hurting her. If she is breathing, it is so shallowly that I cannot detect it," Bel saw Loki's face fall, "Perhaps it would be best if I leave you to keep vigil."

"Yes, thank you," he said quietly. After Bel left, he approached her bed, "Good god, Bryn, what have you done?" He brought the chair from her desk over and sat beside her. He checked for a pulse and found a very weak one. She was breathing, but shallowly. He stroked her hair, and noticed her hands were smudged with his blood. "What Witchery is worth doing that would kill the witch?" he asked. He answered himself after a moment of silence, "Of course you'd say that if it saves a friend, it's worth the odds, wouldn't you? And how many of those have I had in my life?" He broke down, begging her to wake up. She did not. He crawled onto the bed next to her and curled around her, "Please, Bryn, I'm so sorry..."

When Loki had not sought out food nearly two days after he had awoken, Bel thought to check to make sure he was still living. Loki called weakly to the door when Bel knocked, but did not get up from where he was curled against Brynja on her bed. He had very carefully moved her into what he thought would be a more comfortable position to wake up from and had taken to begging fate or whatever in the universe had any power over her to let her wake up. When Bel entered, Loki sat up. He looked very unwell.

Bel handed him a tray, "The king insists that you eat something. He says that if she worked so hard to steal you from death, you ought to make sure you do not court it intentionally." Loki thanked him and Bel continued, "I do not know much about the ways of Asgard's men, but if you have not, it seems you may want to consider asking her to be your mate. You obviously care very much for her."

Loki was a little shocked by Bel's boldness, but did not show it; he smiled a little, "I do not know her feelings on the matter. I am quite content to keep things as they are for now."

Bel studied Loki's face for a moment, "You do not know her feelings? Look at what she has done for you." Bel left, closing the door quietly behind him.

Loki ate slowly, thinking about Bel's words, wondering if he would ever have the chance to find out what Brynja felt or thought about any future they might have together. He knew for certain that Odin would oppose and quite possibly forbid the match.

Bel continued to deliver meals to Loki in Brynja's room. While both he and his father were both saddened by Brynja's state, they also knew that as long as Loki was occupied with her, there would be no challenge to the throne. Halifrey still increased his guard and instructed them to be ever-vigilant.

It took a week for Brynja to show any sign of life. The first thing she did was shift her shoulder while Loki was curled up against her. He initially thought he had dreamt it. He went to fall back asleep when she turned her head and sighed.

He touched her cheek, "Bryn? Are you there? Oh please, Bryn, wake up." She did not open her eyes, but he saw a smile flicker across her lips. She turned towards him and he took her hand, bringing it to rest against his heart. The dawn was just barely greying the sky outside, "It's not quite morning, but that's alright, we can wake up now. I won't complain at all."

She opened one eye, then the other, "Loki? Did we make it?"

He laughed, relief washing over him as he fought back tears, "Yes, Bryn, we made it. We're alive. It's been a week. Possibly the longest week I've ever experienced."

"Then why do I still feel so tired?" she asked, her voice weak.

Loki shook his head, "I have no idea, maybe the tired from such strong Witchery is different than every other tired one can experience."

She nodded, "Well it certainly makes me feel like I've been hit by a truck. I've never done that spell before. Good to know it worked."

"You used a different spell on me than you did on Mother?"

"Much different. Mother was easy. All we needed was a little piece of her and time...well, and Freyja's Witching room. You, on the other hand, were much, much harder. I think it's more difficult to bring someone back who is in pain and near the release of death than someone who has felt that release and is ready to return." Brynja closed her eyes, "And I think I'm ready to go back to sleep now."

Loki snuggled close to her, his arm around her waist, his hand resting along her side, "May I stay here?" he asked, hoping that after his outburst a week before, the answer would still be yes.

Brynja touched her forehead to his, resting her free hand against his neck, "Of course."

"I'm so sorry...," he said.

She smiled, her eyes closed, "Don't be, I made it," she said before falling asleep.

For the first time since the throne had been offered to him, Loki had serious doubts as to whether or not resisting Othik's persuasion, or even staying in Jotunheim, was a good idea. Laying close enough to once again feel Brynja's breath, to feel her warmth, he found a glimmer of contentment and wondered if it could possibly survive whatever Othik would try to do if he refused.

When they woke up again, it was afternoon. Loki helped Brynja to the bathroom and then went to tell both Bel and Halifrey that she was back. He was practically giddy as he relayed the news. While Loki had not felt like eating immediately after waking up, Brynja did not wait for supper to seek out the kitchens. She was starving, ready to eat, as she described it, like Volstagg.

Loki was quite playful that evening, telling stories and quoting lines from his books, shifting forms and voices as he did and bringing Brynja to laughter at every opportunity. As she readied for bed that evening, Loki knocked on her door and brought with him tea. They sat together at her breakfast table and sipped while they watched the stars. When she was too tired to stay awake any longer, he asked if once again he might join her for the night and she consented, happy to have someone to share sleep with. She sang songs she'd learned in Midgard as they rested together, her voice fading as she fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, she woke to Loki sleeping very fitfully, his head tossing on the pillow, his limbs rigid. Whatever he was dreaming about, it was causing him a lot of distress. She placed a hand on his chest and lightly shook him, whispering his name, hoping to wake him gently. He began to mutter in his sleep, the words unclear at first, but as they became more fearful, she could make out protests to whatever was happening to him. She again tried to wake him, his shouts becoming louder and more frightened. She sat up and waited, unable to interrupt the dream, only able to observe his pain and hope that the whatever was going on in his mind ended soon and let him rest. His limbs did not move, as though they were anchored to the bed. His torso writhed as if he was in agony. His head thrashed and he screamed. Then he sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath, very much awake.

It was then that he realised he was not in his own bed and turned to see Brynja next to him, her face crossed with worry, "Oh god, Bryn...I'm sorry. This hasn't happened in a while..." He covered his face, embarrassed, "I'll go back to my room so I don't disturb you further. You need your rest." He started to get out of bed, but Brynja put her hand on his shoulder and stopped him.

"No, Loki. Don't run. Tell me what's going on."

Loki spoke, his back still to her, "I didn't just get tossed back into the cell after I took over Asgard. Odin handed me over to...to...well, who doesn't matter. They tortured me. For days. I still have nightmares about it once in a while." He tugged off his shirt, "There. The scars tell everything." His back was crossed with long, thin scars that looked like they were caused by a very sharp knife. Over some of them were deep, ugly burn scars. Brynja slid her arms around him and rested her head between his shoulder blades, "The scars are worse on the front. And if you'd like to see something truly horrific..." he reached for the edge of his trousers.

Brynja shook her head, "Loki, no. You don't have to show me everything right now. I believe you. Please face me, though." He turned back to her and she gently traced the scars on his chest and abdomen. It looked as though he had been eviscerated, "I'm so sorry I didn't know. I spent all those years watching you and somehow..."

He sighed, "They didn't want anyone to know. Thor hadn't heard, either. I'd never spoken of it until I told him. The guards just assumed my nightmares were about other things...when they taunted, I blamed the abyss." Again, shame overcame him and he turned away, "I'll leave. I'm sorry, Bryn. This shouldn't be something you have to know about."

Once more, she stopped him, "Loki, you aren't the first survivor of violence I've shared a bed with. You don't have to leave. I can handle the night terrors. Just tell me what you need me to do for you when you wake up." Loki said nothing. Brynja wrapped her arms around him again and kissed the back of his shoulder where the deepest and darkest scar started.

Loki slipped back under the covers and turned to face her, "Tell me it's over. That I'm safe. That I don't have to go through it again."

Brynja held him close and kissed his cheek, "You're safe with me, Loki. This Witch is fiercely loyal, fiercely protective."

He relaxed in her arms and let himself enjoy her warm hands on his bare skin, her gentle touch a relief from the memories of the tortures that left him so scarred.


	18. Chapter 18

A few days later, Loki was summoned during lunch to meet with someone.. Brynja knew that it was likely Othik or whomever else was working with him to place Loki on the throne. She finished her lunch and returned to her room to wait. Rather than reading, she sat down at her desk and wrote a letter, but instead of sending it out the window as she usually did, she folded it and slipped it in between her books.

Shortly after, Loki knocked and entered the room, his voice quiet, "Othik has approached me again, Bryn."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "And are you going to take his offer?"

Loki sat beside her on the bed, his head low, "I don't know. I want the best life we can have here. I want to make sure you are safe and protected. Within these walls you mostly are, but if you dared step outside..." he trailed off, remembering his encounter by the graveyard, "If I were king, perhaps I could change that."

Brynja shook her head, "If you were king, and you remembered Odin's bargain, you would know you would not have me here to protect, Loki. Father will reclaim me the moment the crown is on your head. You cannot stop him."

"But if I do not take-"

She interrupted him, "Father will not see it as a gift. You know this as well as I do."

"Then I will protect you from him, place an army between Asgard and this temple," he proposed, his voice betraying a desperation to keep her in Jotunheim.

She slipped her arms around him; the sadness she felt reflected in her expression and her voice, "Loki...that would be an act of war against Asgard and you know you would lose. No. I love that you are so willing to come to my defense, to do everything to keep me with you, but you know that in the end, if you resist him, he will make sure I never see you again. He will fight to the last man, he will take me away to the city, and he will execute you without a second thought. If you must do this, at least promise me that you will not fight for me in any way that increases the odds that Father will kill you."

Loki held her tightly, "I swear to you that I will do everything I can to keep you beside me...but yes, I give you my word that I will use only my silver tongue, not my magic or soldiers to do it. I thought I'd lost you, Brynja. I will not suffer that loss again."

Brynja sighed, "I hope you will reconsider. If only because those who give you such a thing are likely to expect some grand favour in return. You will not be free to rule as you wish."

"I have thought of that, but they are persistent. I truly do not have a choice here. I can accept or they will force me," he responded.

She stepped back from their embrace and took his hands, "Follow your heart and make the best decision you can. It is all you can do and I will do my best to accept what you choose. Come on, let's take a walk through the halls or tell stories or something. We need to make the most of the time we do have."

Loki opted for the walk, "No more stories right now...I feel as though reciting Macbeth or Hamlet would not help my mood in the least."

She replied, "Yes, and I don't think King Lear would do me the best. A walk it is."

A few days later, Loki asked Brynja for help repairing his armor. They sat on his bed, a wild storm ripping the landscape behind them, and examined the damage.

Loki picked at the ragged edge of the leather, "This isn't good. How can we fix this? I can maintain the illusion, but I'd much rather not."

Brynja closely inspected the pieces, "I can replace a few of these from the boot leather I have left over from Midgard- it's not quite as flexible, but it will pass and is close enough in colour. The pieces we can't replace, well, we'll reinforce from the back and do our best to hide the stitching. Our magic can't be used in the throne room, anyway, so your illusion would not last."

He glanced at the pile of leather at the end of the bed, "How do you have left over boot leather? When did you learn leather tooling?"

"I made boots during the 1960s. It was fun and I kept all the extra bits for smaller projects. We can make this work. I have a few larger sheets in there." She began to pick at stitches to remove damaged pieces, "Go find the pieces that most closely match the colours we need and bring them here." While he sorted and she picked out very fine stitches, she thought and then asked, "I take it this means you're going to accept the crown?"

He paused, hoping not to trigger tears or a fight when he answered, "They will make certain that I do, whether I want it or not. Othik is...very persuasive. I think...," his voice trailed off as he searched for the right words. When he found them, his voice was soft and sad, "He has made it clear that if I stop his revolution, I will die quite terribly...after he tortures you to death in front of me in punishment. I can't do that to you, Brynja. You've seen my scars..." She kept picking at stitches without responding, "You're not angry with me, are you?"

"No. Especially not knowing that," she finally answered.

"I have to keep you safe, Bryn. I can't risk Othik taking out his anger against you who are so precious to me."

She stopped picking stitches and reached over to touch his hand, "Just keep your word, OK?"

"Of course. And no lies, no trickery, no deception. I made you a promise, I will keep it," he said solomly, his gaze meeting hers as he squeezed her hand. He returned to work and held two pieces of green leather up to a lamp, struggling to discern which shade was closer to the one he wanted, "And Halifrey knows. I'm fairly certain he even knows who else Othik has spoken to and who is on his side. He seems to not be taking any of it personally."

She handed him a pair of shears, "When I get a piece cut out, check that your replacement is the right colour and then cut the exact shape," she instructed, "And of course he isn't taking it personally- I think that this is how most kings change in Jotunheim."

He laughed ruefully, "So I am doing things the way of my forefathers without even knowing it."

Brynja watched Loki carefully, hoping that this wasn't the start of another fight, but he seemed to be fine with this fact and continued working to sort the leather scraps.

It took them a few evenings to get the armor functional again, but when Brynja declared the project finished and helped him try it on, he said it fit like a glove and thanked her with a kiss on the cheek. He was light on his feet and joyful that evening after supper, playful and using his skills with illusion to make mischief for her of one kind or another as they danced in front of the fire before bed.

As she fell asleep, her head resting against his chest, she wondered how much longer they had before she would be called back to Asgard and she wished that future wasn't so certain.

Two days later, there was a commotion in the halls outside her rooms. Brynja opened the door and glanced both ways. There were many Jotun flowing from the other doorways, all headed in the same direction.

"What's going on?" she asked the closest Jotun.

"Halifrey has been removed from the throne. Othik has declaired Loki the new king of Jotunheim. Halifrey's execution will be momentary."

Brinja swore and thanked him. She grabbed her cloak and quickly stuffed a few things into her duffel bag, certain of what would be coming next. She then followed after the crowd headed in the direction of the throne room.

Meanwhile, Halifrey knelt before Loki, guards on either side. Loki wore his armor. He stood in front of Halifrey and waited for Othik to direct him as to what was customarily done next.

Othik spoke to the crowd streaming in the doors, "Behold, the new king of Jotunheim!" He turned to Halifrey and Loki, "If either of you have any parting conversation you absolutely must have, I suggest you have it now."

Loki crouched down to Halifrey's eye level and spoke very quietly, "I am so sorry this is ending this way. You have been nothing but kind to Brynja and I."

Halifrey shrugged, "I feel no ill will toward either of you. This is the way of Jotun kings. May your own death be at the hands of someone deserving."

Loki sighed, "Please know I take no pleasure in this."

Halifrey met his eyes and whispered, "And please know that I am honoured to meet my end by the same hand that struck down our father."

Loki rose slowly, somewhat startled that Halifrey knew what he had done, "Of course. Othik?"

Othik handed Loki a large, ceremonial axe, "Make it clean and quick, sir."

Loki positioned himself, Halifrey bowed his head, and in one swoop, Halifrey's head was cleaved clear from his body.

Othik addressed the assembled, "All hail, Loki Laufeyson, King of Jotunheim!" A roar went up from the crowd and Othik placed a rough iron crown on Loki's head. He ascended to the throne and surveyed the scene in front of him.

Loki spoke, "May we enter a new era of Jotun prosperity." The crowd roared again and then began to disperse.

Othik bowed and spoke to Loki, "Your Majesty, do you require my services, or would you rather have a moment alone to grow accustomed to your new position?"

Loki steepled his fingers in front of his lips and paused a moment before answering, "Alone, please. Unless Brynja arrives, she is permitted to enter."

Othik barred his teeth, "I hope you have a plan for her, Majesty. I would not want her to be in the way of your future."

Loki raised an eyebrow, "You will not touch her, Othik. Brynja's fate, as Asgardian royalty, is mine to determine and mine alone. You will consider that your first order from your new king."

Othik bowed again, obviously not happy with this answer, "Of course, your Majesty."

Loki nodded towards the door, "You are dismissed." Othik left without further conversation, taking Halifrey's head with him.

The execution had ended before Brynja arrived and the audience had dispersed into the halls. Most were muttering about the fight being a fair contest for the throne, as both men were sons of Laufey. She made sure the room was empty, staring at Loki as he got comfortable on the throne, Halifrey's headless body still slumped by the steps leading up to the throne.

Loki watched Brynja as she approached, knowing full well she was unhappy. Her body language, he thought, told him everything he needed to know. He waited for her to speak.

Brynja shook her head in disappointment, "You have damned me, Loki." She dropped to her knees, tears in her eyes.

Loki descended from the throne and knelt in front of her, "Please, Bryn, don't go."

She felt a familiar tug on her whole body and stood up, "You broke the deal, I have no choice." He saw the light of the Bifrost envelop her and she was gone, tugged back to Asgard.

Loki recalled the details of the bargain with Odin. If she could not hold Loki to the terms of his release, she would be called back to Asgard against her will to be married to a warrior of her father's choosing. That was what she meant when she said he had damned her. He sighed and let his head fall to his hands. The only way to bring her back would be to propose, as king, that Odin give her to him as his queen. He knew Odin would deny his request without even considering it. His heart sinking, he knew he would probably never see Brynja again.


	19. Chapter 19

Brynja returned to Asgard and was met by Odin himself, "Loki broke our bargain. Are you ready to keep up your end?"

She bowed her head and answered quietly, "Yes, Father. I am."

Odin nodded, "Good. I have found you a worthy match. Fandral will provide for you well and Thor speaks highly of him."

Brynja smiled ruefully, "There is something sadly funny that you will wed me to the same person whose interest for which you sent me to live in the walls."

Odin took her hand, "Perhaps that means this match is meant to be. Do not enter this marriage as though it is the end of your dreams, my wild-hearted daughter, much happiness can come from such unchosen fates."

She sighed, "Of course. I just worry that it might not. I am a wanderer. Settling in one place is a frightening process."

Odin walked with her to Frigga's chamber, "Your mother is waiting to help you ready for your wedding. Fandral would like to wed by the end of the week."

Frigga did help her prepare- they sorted through the few things Brynja had brought back to Asgard- her purple robes, the long sage gown she wore when in her role as princess, her leather jacket, and a few skirts, tousers, and dresses from Midgard she had been particularly fond of. Frigga opened her wardrobe to her daughter and helped her choose gowns to wear as a warrior's wife and they selected a long silver gown with a train for her wedding dress. Frigga also gifted her daughter jewelry- gold and silver necklaces, long sparkling earrings set with multiple precious stones, armlets, bracelets, and rings.

Brynja attempted to smile at her wedding, but it felt like lying. She was still very saddened by Loki's decision and also very disheartened by her arranged marriage. She did it as often as she could, anyway, trying instead to enjoy the attention, the company, the food, and the fact that for once, she was dressed like a true princess of Asgard, not a wall-woman.

When she was taken to her new husband's house, she sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the floor, waiting for him to ask for her to do something, but instead he sat down next to her, "Brynja, I know this has not been your ideal for your wedding day, but I will do my best to be a fair husband, even if I am not who you would have chosen. You have been in my sights for many years as a fine wife. If you do not feel up to performing your wedding night duties after such a long and emotional day, I will be happy to delay a day so that you can get some rest."

She thanked him and he gestured to the small divider set up in the corner of the room next to a wardrobe that held the dresses sent over by her mother, her duffel bag tucked under them, her Midgardian clothes stowed within.

She went to change out of her finery and he stripped in the middle of the room, "Today, dear wife, we begin our lives anew."

Brynja tried her best to be wifely. Fandral did not allow her to travel outside of Asgard, but he did not ask her to stop her visits to the halls of her parents or to the halls of Freyja. She would not have stopped visiting if he had, but it made things easier on her to know there would be no argument over those visits.

There had, however, been arguments about the little gold ring she had moved to a chain around her neck on their wedding day and had worn every day since. She refused to say more than it was in memory of the very dear friend who had given it to her. He believed the friend to be Loki and insisted she remove it. She assured him it was not a gift from Loki, that the friend had been a Midgardian woman. He pushed the matter until she used her Witchery to hide it as it hung around her neck.

Brynja mended, she cooked, she cleaned, she oiled the leather of Fandral's armor and polished the metal to a mirror gleam. She attended her father's court dressed in finery on her husband's arm. And eventually, she bore him two daughters, only a few years apart in age. He did not know what to call the girls, so he left naming up to her. The eldest was Katja, a name she had first heard in Midgard's Germany in 1939, a cabaret girl with long dark hair who had disappeared. The youngest she named Sunny, after a woman she had lived with in New York City in the 1980s.

Fandral did not understand either name, but Katja, he thought, could at least pass for Asgardian, as it had a 'j' in it. He chided his wife for naming their second Sunny, though, and asked her regularly why she chose such a silly name for a warrior's child.

The little girl was not even a year old when he asked, "Brynja, why don't you have that child rechristened something more familiar? I don't even want to tell men what you've called her, they will laugh at such a name."

Brynja did not waver, "Then tell them that she is named after one of many young warriors who fought against a disease that was unstoppable and lost. It was spreading like wildfire amongst my friends many of them died. She had no family and I arranged for her funeral. It was for her I wore the ring. I will not change this child's name- I have never seen people fight for their lives harder than those friends did. You can just live with that, especially since you had no ideas at the time and refused to think up names for little girls before either child was born."

Fandral shook his head, "Next you must bear a son. We have enough girls."

She glared at him, "We have the children we are gifted with. I cannot control the matter."

From that day onward, their relationship cooled even farther than it had already since he had obsessed over the little gold ring. Fandral took to finding reasons why he had to stay out late and rise early while Brynja spent most of her days "introducing the children to their family". When Thor visited Asgard years later, Brynja spent the better part of the week in her father's house with her children. Thor was thrilled to play with the girls and made no distinction between what stories he told them and the stories he had told Loki as a very small child, though his storytelling skills had improved quite a lot in the many years since. He also told them of his own adventures. Katja came home talking of being a warrior and fighting monsters, her sister wide-eyed at her bravery and daring as she climbed on furniture and jumped off, brandishing a sword made of a broom handle.

Fandral came home for lunch not long after and saw his daughter in mid-air as she leapt from a chair, "ENOUGH! What in the name of Odin do you think you are doing?"

Sunny froze, afraid of her father's yelling, but Katja tossed back her long, curly hair, so much like her mother's and grandmother's, and boldly explained, "We just got home from seeing Uncle Thor and he fought giants! I want to fight giants! And monsters, just like in New York! I'm going to be a warrior like you and Uncle Thor!"

He shook his head, "You'll do no such thing. Ladies can't be warriors."

Katja furrowed her brow and tipped her head to one side, "So what is Lady Sif? She's a lady AND a warrior. I bet nobody tells her she can't be both!"

Fandral sighed, "Sif is different and you know that. You are my daughter and you will do as I say. No more playing warrior. No more talk of fighting monsters. I will have a talk with your uncle about what he is and isn't to fill your head with."

Katja was crushed and her face showed it. She threw down her broom handle and stormed off, very angry. Sunny rushed off after her.

Fandral turned to Brynja, "How dare you let him fill their heads with such things! My daughters are going to be proper women of Asgard. They will grow up tall and beautiful to marry warriors, they are not going to BE warriors themselves!"

Brynja shook her head, "If you think I am going to tell Thor to be anyone but who he is in front of his nieces, you are greatly mistaken. They are still very young and have no need to be thinking of marriage. I will let them play- children only get so long to dream before others cut them off and tell them they have to grow up."

Fandral pointed at her sharply, "They will  _not_  end up like  _you_ , wandering the worlds, doing who knows what, seeking thrills in places they ought not."

Brynja kept her temper, though she felt like telling him to take his ideas and stuff them the same place she thought he'd shoved his head, "My daughters will make up their own minds, I will be sure of that. Their futures are not yours to determine."

Fandral stormed out of the house and Brynja went to find the girls; they were listening from behind the nearest closed door, "Your father and I disagree on many things. This is one of the largest disagreements we have."

Katja glared at the front door, "I don't like Father right now, Mother."

Brynja knelt down and drew both girls close, "If there is anything I am good at, it is standing my ground. I will not let him push you children into futures you do not want for yourselves."


	20. Chapter 20

Loki had a few years of easy reign before talk of dissent reached his ears. There were those still quite loyal to Halifrey in the realm, that he had known all along. Othik also had different ideas on how he should rule and made it quite clear that he would back another insurrection, and execution, if Loki did not pay him back for the favour of placing the crown on his head. Loki had done his best to keep those who were not supportive of his reign happy. He had changed very little initially and attempted to hear out their concerns, just as Halifrey had done. Years went by and he thought things were going rather well, but in truth, the talk of civil war had just been very well hidden. When he finally did hear of it, the matter hinged on one issue- if Loki was willing to go to war against Asgard to claim the Cask of Ancient Winters, lost to Odin so many years ago. While trying to beat Odin and his forces may have seemed like a good idea to Loki at one point, he had seen the factions amongst the Jotun forces and thought there would be no way to win that fight, especially since he knew Odin would be watching him closely, intent on finding reasons why Jotunheim should be the single biggest enemy of Asgard. Making what was probably the wisest decision of his reign, he steadfastly insisted that no, they would not attack Asgard. He explained why to his advisors and generals and the impression he got from many of them was that while they agreed, their hatred for Asgard ran deep enough to take the risk.

Nine years into his rule and politically, things were not going so well. They were not personally, either. Loki was lonely, which was not a surprise to him, but what did surprise him was that of all the letters over the years he had written to Brynja, none of them had been answered. He had started writing intermittently- once or twice a year- to give her time to ignore him if she was still angry. As things got worse, he wrote more often. He was up to writing monthly, and still, no answer. He was fairly certain that his last letter had been ridiculously desperate and he had quite possibly made a huge fool of himself, but he was to the point where he really didn't care.

Wandering the temple had become a significant past time for him. He had begun reconstructing it shortly after his reign began and it was now quite a bit more stable, both in appearance and in structure, than when he and Brynja had first arrived. He usually wandered the older sections, exploring tunnels and passages that now connected to newer halls that were more familiar.

On this particular day, he discovered that his wandering took him to the halls where he and Brynja had first stayed. He opened the door to her room.

Most of his belongings were also in this room, as he had moved into the king's quarters and had not brought his furniture or his books with him. His old room had been demolished to connect a new hallway to the old, so the move had been a good idea anyway.

The room was dark when he entered, but a simple enchantment solved that problem and the room was lit by a soft glow from the end of his sceptre. It had been years since anyone had been in the room and a layer of dust had settled on everything. He went to her dresser and looked at her books, his beside them. A large book slipped underneath the paperbacks and hardcover novels caught his eye and he pulled it carefully from the dresser. It was a travel book from Midgard, mostly photographs. He took it over to her bed and sat down, not minding the dust that flew up from the blankets. He would have to have the blankets pinned out in the wind to shake the dust out of them. He opened the book and slowly looked through the photographs. Her printed margin notes caught his eye, neat and tiny.

On the page with a photograph of a bustling city named Berlin she wrote, " _This place has changed so much over the years. I remember the cabarets. They were glorious. The city has healed well from the war, but it will never be the same as it was before it._ " On the following page, a crumbling wall covered with graffiti had a note beside it, " _It still surprises me that they ever pulled this down and ripped down the Iron Curtain. Midgard has changed so much since I started visiting it, and sometimes even for the better!_ "

Places she had not visited were either not noted at all or had her aspirations for travel neatly printed next to the pictures. When he got to photographs of New Zealand's mountains and hills, he was surprised to see her handwriting change- it was more slanted, as though she had written faster in excitement, " _Oh, to see such a beautiful place! Not even Asgard can compare even to the photographs of these majestic mountains and the sunlit hills. I wonder what the weather is like here, and the wildlife? There are people living here, so it cannot be too inhospitable, though they live in Siberia still, so I am not so sure how good a tell that is!_ "

Loki leaned on her pillow and placed the book beside him, engrossed by her notes. He missed her company terribly, but had no idea how to reach her if his letters were not being responded to. He had written to Freyja and to his mother, both of whom had written back short, but kind, letters, neither answering his inquiries about Brynja's life. In some corner of his mind, he was very worried about Brynja. He decided to write again as soon as he was done with her book. He needed something to do, though, to keep his thoughts away from the struggles in his kingdom. After the letter, he decided he would clean her room.

 


	21. Chapter 21

Brynja's children were growing so quickly and keeping up with wild-hearted Katja gave her an idea of what it must have been like for Frigga to keep up with her in the years before she was shut up in the walls. Katja was just a few days short of her eighth birthday when Fandral burst into the kitchen and tossed a torn, dirty shirt on the kitchen table where she, Brynja, and Sunny were discussing her birthday plans.

"Fix this for me, wife, for tonight the warriors feast victorious!"

Brynja shoved it aside with her pen, "It needs to be washed before I can properly mend it."

He protested, "No, it will not dry in time."

"Then you will have to find another shirt."

He quickly grew angry, "Perhaps you do not understand, but I fought in this shirt, I won in this shirt, and you will make it ready for me for our victory feast."

"If you expect your wife to work miracles, you should have married a sorcerer," she shot back.

His temper flared, "If you cannot make it ready, I will send you back to your father to live in the walls." He slammed the door behind him as he left the house.

Brynja used the pen to pick up the shirt. She took it to the laundry vat and began to scrub it. After it was clean, she took it outside, her daughters following, and whipped it in the sun.

She turned to the girls, "Don't tell your father I'm going to use a little bit of house magic to dry this. I would rather he believe that he is very very lucky it dried in time." Both children nodded. She muttered a charm and snapped it one more time and the water fell from the fabric in a sheet. She brought the shirt inside and looked at the tears in the fabric. She cursed, "Shit, I hate doing things for that man when he's pissed me off." She turned to the kids again, "I'm just going to do the whole damn thing with house magic. Then we can get back to planning for Katja's birthday, OK?" The children smiled and cheered- they hadn't seen her perform the little household miracles before, but she was tired and knew they wanted, more than anything, to get back to planning the party. She flicked the fabric in each of the places it was strained or torn and they wove themselves back together. She threw the shirt over a chair, "When he comes back, he'll be happy and so will we. Now, Kat, what do you want to do for your birthday dinner? You know you grandmother will be happy to have anything you'd like made."

Katja grinned, "I want to have lots of different pies! And maybe even real dinner food, but mostly pies!"

Brynja laughed, "We will definitely have pies. And what else do you want?"

Katja thought for a moment and her face fell, "I want to hear Uncle Thor's stories, but Father would never allow that, would he?"

Brynja sighed, "No, no he wouldn't. And he'll insist you act like a lady and dress quite fancy for your feast. You know what he thinks."

Katja was glum for a moment, but then brightened, "We'll ask Grandmother to tell stories, then, or Grandfather! Father won't dare to tell either of them not to and I know they must know stories!"

Brynja nodded, "We can ask, but remember that they also both know what your father feels about such things. They are unlikely to completely defy his will."

Katja picked at a spot on the table, "Why does father always have to ruin our fun?"

Brynja had no answer for her.

At Katja's birthday feast, there most certainly were a lot of pies. Frigga had seen to it that any pie the child could think of was sitting on the table waiting for her to sample. Even dinner was served as pies- meat pies, vegetable pies, pies with filling spiced so exotically it was not entirely recognisable as to whether it was meat, vegetable, or something new.

Frigga also raised her glass to toast her granddaughter, winking at her as she said, "May all your dreams come true, my wild-hearted grandchild."

Fandral looked sour as Freyja rose to also give a toast, "Katja, I remember when your mother was your age. She was as independent as you are, possibly even moreso. I was so proud to have her as an apprentice many years later, trusted with helping her find her way in the world. She has always followed her heart, even when it has led her to unexpected places. May you be blessed with the same wanderlust and the same sense of justice and loyalty. With those traits, you will go far, see many incredible places, and feel so deeply that your life will have roots in the most beautiful places." Brynja knew that Freyja's words were not empty. Freyja was, in her own way, telling Fandral to let his daughter be free and that she would be watching. Brynja also knew that Fandral had been in a sour mood all day, to the point where Katja had outright asked him if he was angry that she had not been born a boy. He had not answered her and she had taken that as a yes, crying for hours after into her mother's dress.

Sunny, ever quiet, ever watching, was on alert at the feast, watching everyone, watching her father's reactions. She knew something would go horribly wrong, no matter how hard everyone tried to make Katja feel like a queen.

After dinner, they tucked into the desert pies and Frigga once again stood, "Ladies and gentlemen, I have heard that our birthday girl has a love of stories. I have one of my own to tell. I was not trained to be a great warrior during my youth, but I do know how to handle a sword. This story took place long after my childhood. Loki sat imprisoned for crimes against Midgard. There were dark forces gathering against us. Malekith waged war against Asgard, the prisoners were released, and I alone stood between Malekith and Jane, Thor's love, who had been infected with the Aether. I had a plan, though, to hide the girl, use my own powers of illusion to make it seem as though she was with me, and confront anyone who attacked us. I took a sword from a passing guard- no one would dare tell me no at that most desperate hour. I hid the girl and retreated to my chambers, knowing Malekith would find me. He did and we did fight. He thought he had the upper hand, but it was clear he had never fought a queen of Asgard and I had him, pinned, my blade to his thoat before one of his men, contorted by wickedness, slipped behind me and put a blade to my back. I refused to tell where Jane was, and for that, I met my death. The girl was safe, though, because I did not wimper and beg for my life, trading hers for mine. I died keeping my secrets, as do the warriors of Asgard. While you have a warrior king, be assured your queen aspires to such skill in fighting and wisdom in rule as well."

Around the table, glasses were raised to Queen Frigga. Fandral glowered at Katja as she enthusiastically took part in the ritual. Sunny sat tense, watching. She edged closer to her mother.

Thor raised a glass and made his own toast, "To Asgard's brave, whether it be bravery in battle or bravery of heart and spirit." He nodded to Brynja as everyone drank from their cups. She smiled and acknowledged his tribute.

Frigga toasted, "To  _all_  my children and grandchildren, wherever they may be- may you all be lights to all the worlds." Everyone at the table knew she was including Loki in her toast- she always included him when she spoke of her children. Everyone still drank, albeit a little more quietly, as they did not want to insult their queen. Frigga's eyes met Brynja's and they raised their glasses towards one another, a silent recognition of loss.

At that, Fandral rose, grabbed Katja's arm, and told her they were leaving; he turned to Brynja, "All of us are leaving. It is late. The girls are tired." Katja started to protest, but her father spoke over her, "No, child, you _are_  tired."

While Fandral dragged a reluctant Katja to the door, Brynja led Sunny to stand before Odin and Frigga; she bowed and Sunny followed suit, "Thank you, Mother, Father, for this lovely party. We have truly had a beautiful time tonight celebrating Katja's birthday." Odin clasped her hand in acknowledgement and Frigga rose to hug her and to hug Sunny.

Fandral called from the door, "Come,  _dear_ , the children need to be in bed." He did not speak to her again until they were in their home, "Get to bed, girls. Your mother and I need to talk."

Brynja steeled herself for the pending storm after hugging both her daughters and sending them to bed. She knew what was coming. The chastisement for Frigga's story, for allowing Katja to cheer for it, for her participation in Frigga's toast.

"Brynja, how many times do I have to tell you that these girls are not to think they are going to be warriors? Frigga basically told them, in front of everyone, that they can be great defenders of others, something I have expressly forbidden. They are not to have their heads filled with such ridiculous notions! Frigga is a queen, she is something different, something these girls will never be."

She sighed, "Mother also has a mind of her own and I dare you to tell her what she can and cannot tell her grandchildren about her own life. She will not take kindly to it, I can guarantee it."

He shot back, "Then you and the children are forbidden from seeing her if she cannot hold her tongue."

Brynja's face hardened, "You will not tell me that I can't see my own mother."

"I can, and I will, tell you who you are to see. For that matter, you aren't to leave the house- I know that you and Frigga were raising glasses to that Traitor during the final toast- don't try to act like he's some kind of repentant, he deserved everything we did to him! No more visits to Freyja, either. Who knows what that witch puts in your head or what she shows you with her spells. You cannot raise our children as I see fit, you will not be allowed to visit outsiders until you can figure out just where your place is, wife."

She took a deep breath and tried to pull her temper under control, "If you don't stop talking, I'm going to lose it, Fandral. Just stop, before you push me too far."

He yelled, "How DARE you tell me how to behave in my own home!" He slapped her. She did not stagger, she did not fall, she glared at him and muttered under her breath. "Speak up so I can tell if I need to do that again," he commanded.

"Oh, gladly..." She spoke again, in a language he did not understand, clearly and loudly. He tried to slap her again and his hand hit a barrier as solid as rock. She heard the bones in his hand crack, "If you dare touch me again, far worse things will happen than a broken hand," she hissed.

He clenched his hand to his chest and swore before storming out of the house, the door slamming behind him.

Brynja went to check on her daughters, her cheek still stinging. They were both huddled together in bed, Katja still crying and Sunny stroking her hair.

Sunny spoke first, "I really don't like Father anymore. I don't want to stay here, especially if we can't go visiting."

Katja wailed, "He ruined my birthday! I only get one a year and he  _ruined_  it!"

Brynja sat down on the bed and gathered the girls close, "I know, loves, I know. We're not going to stay. Gather a few of your things- the belongings you hold most dear, and we'll leave tonight." Someone knocked on the front door, "Who could that be?"

She answered it and a young messenger stood on the other side, "Excuse me, there's a letter here addressed to Brynja. My master said I was to deliver it only to Fandral, though?"

"This is his home. I will see that he gets it."

The young man sighed, "Oh, thank you, miss. I'm just a fill-in while the other man is sick. I don't know how the usual man does this."

She tipped the messenger well, "Just keep it quiet that you handed it to me instead, OK? I don't want you getting in trouble or anything."

He nodded enthusiastically, "Of course, miss. Mum's the word," before walking into the night.

Brynja closed the door and locked it, bringing the letter to the chidren's bedroom. She knew the handwriting intimately well and her hands were shaking as she opened the letter.

Sunny noticed, "What's wrong, Mother?"

Katja heard her sister and pulled her tear-dampened face out of her pillow, "Mother? Who is it from?"

Brynja skimmed the letter to the end, "Loki, it's from Loki."

Both girls were silent for a moment before Katja spoke, "But I thought he was a traitor. Why would he write to you?"

Brynja read the letter out loud as her answer, " _Dearest Bryn. It has been nearly ten years since I have heard from you and I worry greatly about your well-being. I have been writing to you at least once a year since you were pulled home to Asgard, often considerably more frequently. I have heard nothing of your fate. I do not know if you are even yet living and I hope your silence all these years does not mean that some ill fate has befallen you. I understand if you are still too angry to speak to me, though I would still very much like to hear from you, even if all you do is chastise me for my mistakes and weaknesses- I would deserve no less. Life in Jotunheim wouldn't be entirely terrible if not for the continual political balancing act that I do to keep us from both descending into civil war and from striking out at Asgard and, of course, for the fact that I miss you greatly, every day._

_"I have rediscovered your books. It has been far too long since I had time to read. I hope that you have seen all the places you wrote about in the picture-book of Midgard, New Zealand most of all. I hope you have been so busy travelling that you have not been home to receive my letters and that life is so full of joy that you have entirely forgotten your miserable Jotun prince. Please know, though, that I have not forgotten you, nor do I think I ever could- not after all you have done for me and all we have been through in our all-too-short time together. I still think fondly of the first time we curled up together beneath my blankets after I lost all hope and you brought my soul away from the proverbial ledge. I remember your Witchery and the moment you trusted me to use it to heal you. Your kiss lingers on my cheek from when you saw me in my Jotun form. I would give up everything I have been given here to have you beside me still._

_"If you ever do find a way to visit my realm, your room awaits. It took me far too long to realise just how much I still need you, but ever since I did, your absence has stung far greater than any wound I have ever received, even the one you saw nearly kill me. I readied your room for you should you ever return and it waits far more patiently than I ever could. Your gowns still hang in the wardrobe, your books on the dresser, and your bed neatly made- I even order the blankets shaken out and the bed re-dressed every week to make sure it does not get dusty and is always ready should you return._

_"Please, Bryn, write to me. Let me know you are safe. I need to know at least that much. And if Brynja has passed and someone else is reading this letter, please tell me so that I might mourn the loss of my beloved friend._

_"Ever yours, Loki._ "

Sunny was the first to speak, "He doesn't sound like the horrible person Father speaks of him as."

Katja added, "Or like he's some kind of crazy monster. It sounds like he really misses you, Mother. Why did you leave him?"

Brynja stared at the letter, "I didn't leave willingly, Katja. I was part of a bargain with your grandfather. He broke the deal we made, I was brought back here." She read the letter again, "He's been writing for years...where are all the other letters?" The words of the messenger hit her, "My god, Fandral's been hiding them from me." She bolted from the room to his study, a room she had been forbidden from entering. She looked around; there was very little in the room. A stand for his armor, a table for polishing armor and weapons, and trophies brought back from conquests hanging on the walls or on shelves. She did not see any place where he could have been hiding them. Her heart sank as she realised he may have been throwing them away as they came.

Sunny slipped past her and walked to the polishing table, "Look under here, he's got a secret compartment in the floor. I've seen it."

Brynja dropped to her knees and felt around for the edges of the door and found them quickly, hidden by nothing more than the shadows under the desk. She quickly found the ring, lifted the door, and saw a pile of papers within. She pulled the entire stack out, tossing everything in the wrong handwriting back into the hidden compartment. She did not care that they seemed to be letters from other women. The most important things to her were the letters in Loki's handwriting, all ten years of them. Her daughters helped her carry them into their bedroom after she shut the secret door and closed up Fandral's study.

Katja looked at the huge pile on the bed, "How are you going to read all these without Father noticing?"

Brynja did not answer. She went into her bedroom, grabbed her duffel bag, which she had not touched since her wedding day, and brought it to her children's bedroom. She then returned to her bedroom and tugged out the fine trunks her mother had sent over the gowns and jewellery in and hurridly packed everything. Sunny and Katja helped, knowing that everything in their lives was about to change. Brynja scrawled a note on a scrap of paper, folded it, and threw it out the window. It turned into a bird and fluttered off. She finished packing one trunk and began on the next. It did not take very long for the three of them to finish packing up Frigga's gifted finery.

Not long after they finished, someone knocked on the door in a distinct pattern and Brynja answered, greeting two strong young women and Frejya between them, "You called?"

Brynja nodded, "I need my husband to stay away tonight and I need to talk to you immediately. Secure the house. We can have no one listening."

Frejya gestured for her guards to patrol and chanted something that briefly illuminated the house and then faded away, "We will have no unwanted visitors." She stepped inside and greeted the two children before continuing, "Brynja, you look as though you've discovered something terrible. Speak, child."

Brynja took a deep breath, "Loki's been writing to me ever since I left and tonight I got the first letter I've seen of all of them. Fandral's been hiding them. Sunny knew where her father had a hiding place and now I have them all...so many letters, there have got to be at least a hundred there. They were tucked in with letters from women. I don't really care about them, though, just about the letters from Loki that he's been hiding."

Freyja's eyes narrowed, "I don't suppose the bruise on your face has anything to do with this, either?"

Brynja dropped her eyes to the floor, "Yes, it does. It has everything to do with it. He was furious that Frigga chose to empower my children with stories of her might. He was furious that Thor would dare toast to bravery in women. The toast that included Loki was the end of it. I can't say he got away unscathed, though, I did break his hand in retaliation."

Frejya patted Brynja's arm, "That's my girl. Now, what is your plan?"

"We're leaving. He forbade me from visiting anyone at all. I'm done. I have the same wanderlust now as I did years ago and my children deserve better than this. They deserve a chance to be warriors in their own ways. I've packed the gowns and jewellery Mother gifted me. I need you to make sure those get back to her tonight. I need to go pack the children's things without worrying that he's going to come in the door. I need a place to stay tonight."

Freyja nodded, "Go pack. I will take you to my hall in this city and my guards will deliver the trunks. This match was bad from the beginning and I admire that you were willing to try, but it's over. I think even your father can figure that out."

Brynja had turned to go to the girls' room and then stopped abruptly, "Shit, what am I going to tell Father?"

Freyja shook her head and gently pushed Brynja towards the door, "Nope, you're not thinking about that right now. Go on. Pack. If I have to, I will deal with your father. There are bigger things for you to do right now, though."

When Brynja stepped through the door to her daughters' room, she was surprised to find Sunny instructing Katja that she really only needed three or four changes of clothes, things could be washed in rotation, and if she hated everything else she owned, she could just leave it, it was fine. Katja dropped a pile of clothes on the bed next to the pile of letters. Sunny followed her over. Katja looked at the collection of fine dolls and gilded toys and then walked past them to her battered cloth doll that sat in an intricately carved wooden rocking chair. Sunny chose a pillow that Thor and Jane had sent her from Midgard that had the words to You Are My Sunshine embroidered on it in the shape of sunbeams.

Katja looked up at her mother, "So what are we packing this all in?"

Brynja opened her duffel bag and and pulled out her leather jacket before shoving everything left in it down, "I think we can fit your clothes in here. Not your cloaks and outerwear, mind you, but I think what is on the bed will fit." She showed them how to roll their clothes so they fit more snugly together and piece by piece, they packed them into her bag. She sent them off to find their cloaks, shoes, and boots while she stared at the pile of letters, trying to think of how to pack them.

Freyja saw her staring at the pile of letters as the girls gathered their outerwear, "I can carry those if you'd like."

Brynja shook her head, "No...I mean, thank you, but I've not held anything of his in so long, I don't want to let them go."

Freyja smiled, "Of course. Do you still have the bag you carried the little ones' diapers in?"

Brynja's eyes lit up, "Yes! It's in the sewing room." She dashed off to find it as Katja and Sunny brought in their cloaks, boots, and shoes.

Katja wasted no time putting on her cloak and boots, "Where'd Mother run off to?"

Sunny's question overlapped, "Did she find something to put her letters in?"

Freyja nodded, "Yes, she thought of something, and that's what she's gone to get. She'll be back in a moment."

Katja pulled her cloak closed around her, "I hope she gets back soon. I want to be gone by the time Father decides to come home."

Sunny nodded, "I know I'm not supposed to feel like this, but I don't want to see him for a very long time."

Brynja entered the room, the quilted bag in one hand and a small sewing kit in the other, "We're not taking many clothes, I need the means to repair them." She stuffed the kit in the bottom of the bag and carefully gathered the letters, setting them in the bag in neat stacks. She looked around the room and under the children's bed to make sure none had escaped her, "I think we're packed."

Freyja gestured her to the door, "Then let us get ready to leave. You need your cloak. Is there anything else in the house you want to bring with you?"

Brynja shook her head as she donned her leather jacket, "No. I don't want him to accuse me of stealing anything."

Freyja watched Brynja swing her cloak around her shoulders over the jacket- it was a light one, not the same one she had seen Brynja take to Jotunheim so many years ago, "I encourage you to walk through the house one last time, just to be sure."

Brynja left the girls with Freyja and did as she asked returning without anything new in her hands, "Nope, but I do need to make sure Mother's dresses and jewels get back to her."

Freyja raised her hand and moved her fingers in an odd pattern- her guards entered the house and bowed briefly, "There are two trunks here that must be returned tonight to Queen Frigga. Deliver them directly to her."

Brynja showed them the trunks and they left silently, their footsteps hardly audible as they slipped into the shadows. She slung her duffel bag over one shoulder, hung the bag of letters on the other, and slipped her shoes on. Her children were ready to go, each carrying their shoes and their special toys, and she held their hands as they stepped out of the house. She muttered a spell and the lamps inside went dark. She did not look back, nor did Freyja.

Not long after, Freyja's two guards slipped into Odin's palace and quietly made their way through the halls, nodding to the guards they met along the way. No one stopped them, they knew who the two fierce young women worked for. They paused outside of Frigga's chamber and waited. It was not long before the Queen met them at the door.

She looked at the trunks between them, "What does Freyja have you bring me?"

One of the women spoke, "Your daughter asked that these be delivered to you tonight. She is with Freyja and you can ask her questions come morning. Tonight, she and the children sleep."

Frigga gestured for them to bring in the trunks and they left briskly after having done so. Curious, she opened the trunks. Brynja's gowns. The jewellery. Frigga quickly understood what it meant. Brynja would have no need for them, wherever she was going, but she  _was_  going.

By the time Frigga opened the trunks, Brynja, Katja, and Sunny were settling into one of Freyja's guest rooms. She bid them goodnight and reminded Brynja how to find her chambers in case they needed anything during the night. She also assured them that if Fandral came calling, he would not enter her gates. She had made sure her guards understood that fact very clearly. Brynja felt safe in this house. She always had. She curled up with her daughters on a down mattress and it did not take long for all three of them to fall into deep sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

The first thing Brynja did in the morning while her daughters were still sleeping was to sit down at the desk in the room to write a letter to Loki, " _Loki, my god, I had no idea you'd been writing. Last night, by complete chance, I actually received one of your letters. My husband has been hiding them from me- I was able to retrieve the older ones thanks to a very perceptive daughter. I am so glad the regular messenger was not the one who came to the door last night._

_"It's Fandral, by the way. And I have two daughters. And I'm fleeing from him, currently hiding at Freyja's hall in Father's city while I make a plan. I think I'll head to Midgard for a short bit but I promise you, I will see you again. I want to read your letters first, though. All ten years of them. I haven't forgotten our time together, especially not the comfort of sleeping beside you as I healed from Othik's hand, protected by your embrace. My arm still bears that scar and every time I see it, I think of the gentle hands that bandaged it and the fear you had of hurting me when you wore your Jotun visage. I miss your kindness. I even miss the simple act of holding your hand._

_"I'm very much not dead. Fandral had instructed the messengers to deliver my letters first to him- or maybe just the letters from you, I don't know. There weren't letters from anyone else hidden away in the secret compartment in his study. Well, not for me, anyway. There were letters to him in there from other women. He can seek comfort with them from here forward._

_"Anyway, Freyja is taking care of us. Don't worry. I will not be reachable by letter for a while, though, since I don't want Fandral to find me. I will send word soon, I promise._

_"As always, Loki Laufeyson, I hold you near to my heart. Bryn._ "

She folded the letter carefully and sent it out the window where it flew off to the horizon. When she turned back toward the bed, she saw both Katja and Sunny watching her.

Katja spoke first, "Letter to Loki?"

Sunny stretched and followed, "Good morning, Mother."

"Good morning, girls, and yes, to Loki. He needs to know I'm still alive." She changed the subject, "Come on, let's go see what Freyja has for breakfast."

Sunny hopped out of bed and took her mother's hand, "Are we going to live here now?"

Brynja shook her head, "No, not for long. I'd like to show you girls Midgard. There is a little cabin in upstate New York I would like to try to find again- it is in a beautiful spot, nestled in the mountains. I think the quiet will do us all some good."

Katja took Brynja's other hand, "So will we live there?"

"No, not for too long- we'll live there for a while and then visit Jotunheim. After that, we'll see. Maybe back to Midgard, maybe back here," she answered.

Katja grinned from ear to ear, "It's one big adventure! I like this."

They made their way down to Freyja's dining hall and were welcomed with a breakfast that resembled a feast, Freyja and her guards sitting down together, three seats open and waiting for their guests.

Freyja smiled as she saw them enter, "Ah, my loves, you have good timing! Come, sit, enjoy- did you sleep well?"

Brynja nodded as she got the children settled, "Very, thank you."

Freyja gestured to one of her guards, "Aletha here has been tracking Fandral this morning- she reports that he has returned to the house and immediately left again. He went to your father and gained an audience with him. We do not know what was said, but we do know that Fandral came away without a smile on his face and Thor refused to joke with him in the halls."

Brynja smiled, "It is comforting to know that even as I hide, you have ears and eyes in my father's halls."

Freyja laughed, "I would have it no other way, my child. Odin may be the Allfather but the thing he sometimes forgets is that Frigga and I are powerful in our own ways. We are who we are, wise women both. Witches. And Queens. A good queen knows well how to insist her guards be where they are needed most, not just in her own realm or halls."

A ball of light drifted through the door and hovered on the edge of the room, waiting to be addressed; Freyja acknowledged it with a gesture and the enchantment announced, "Queen Frigga is at the gate and requests entry."

Freyja rose from the table, "Stay, Brynja, and enjoy your breakfast. I will speak to your mother and invite her to join us. We are not going to make your first morning of freedom one of continual explanations."

Freyja left; Katja helped herself to another stack of pancakes and asked, "What do you think Grandmother wants?"

Sunny's statement overlapped her sister's question, "That's a pretty ring-necklace. I don't remember that from before."

Brynja answered, "I'm guessing she wants to know why she was brought two large trunks of fancy dresses in the middle of the night. And thank you, Sunny. Fandral did not like me to wear it."

The trunks were precisely what Frigga was wondering about as Freyja met her in the entry hall, "Ah, Frigga, darling, it is good to see you! It has been far too long since you were a guest in my hall."

Frigga held up one hand, "Stop, please, and just tell me my daughter and the girls are safe."

Freyja nodded, "Yes, they are. We will join them at the breakfast table before too long."

"What happened?" Frigga asked, "Why did she return the gowns?"

"Fandral's behaviour last night was atrocious," Freyja replied, "He does not want his daughters to dream of being great warriors or wanderers and took out his anger against her and forbade her from leaving the house, from visiting family. He only hit Brynja once before she broke his hand. Shortly after, a messenger arrived with a letter for her that he said he was only to deliver to Fandral. She accepted it, promising to deliver it to him. The letter was from Loki, one of many he has written over the years and the first she has received. Sunny helped her find the others. She's done, Frigga. She can't deal with the cage he has built for her any longer. Until she makes a plan, she is staying with me. The children, too. They will not be sealed up in the walls as she was."

Frigga's heart sank, "I feel for her, yet I cannot help but dread what my husband will say about this."

Freyja shrugged, "Fandral has already been to see him this morning. Whatever he is going to believe, he has already begun to settle on. If he is too harsh, you will lose her, Frigga. Brynja is fully ready to flee to another realm with the girls, permanently if need be. I would wager she will be gone from here by the end of the week. If Odin reacts with rage, you know as well as I that she will not return this time. You may lose her to Midgard, you may lose her to Jotunheim, but you will lose her."

Frigga sighed, "May I see her?"

Freyja smiled, "Of course. Come, let us take some breakfast together."


	23. Chapter 23

As Frigga sat down with Brynja, Katja, and Sunny for breakfast, Loki entered Brynja's room and sat down at the breakfast table watching the grey light outside darken with the gathering of storm clouds. He removed his iron crown and set it in the middle of the table. There was little he could do to stop the impending insurrection. Othik had, once again, started moving people behind the scenes. He knew things were more complicated this time, though. Othik had someone working against him even within his own rebellion. Every method of diplomacy that Loki tried failed and his only choice was to try to squash the rebellion before it gained any more speed. He could not bring himself to lead Jotunheim to civil war, so he waited for the day when he would be removed from the throne and executed. He had nearly come to the conclusion to attack Asgard so his end would come more quickly, but had decided against that as well, unwilling to ask others to die for his own selfish longing for some sort of swift and sure death by Odin's hand. He also did not want Brynja to be mourning him alone as his body was paraded back to Asgard by their victorious warriors, or as he was brought back to be executed there in front of her as she stood beside her mother and brother, Odin dropping the axe as she cried. He laid his head down on the table, remembering a day years ago when he had done the same, a similar feeling of wanting his own end to come tied to that memory and a remembrance of gentle fingers stroking his hair.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something white flitting from the clouds and immediately recognised it as a letter. He fumbled with the latching mechanism on the window, hoping it was for him. When he got the window open, the letter soared into the room and slid across the floor, the wind carrying it under Brynja's bed. He quickly closed the window and dropped to his knees to retrieve it.

He recognised the handwriting and sat down on the floor to read the letter. He read it a second time. Then he clutched it to his heart and let the words sink into his soul. She was alive. Married, with children, and very alive. Better yet, she would write again when she could.

He brought the letter to his lips and kissed the edge of the paper, "Bless you, Little Witch. After all this, you still think of me."

He sat for a while before rising and walking to her dresser to choose a book. His fingers danced across the spines; he'd read most of them many times over, but there was one little one, tucked back farther than the others, that he had not yet touched. He pulled it from the shelf- Howl and Other Poems. He opened the cover and noticed a looping hand had written in it, " _Dearest Bree, may this copy replace the one dear to your heart that you lost on the subway. It still contains 'our poem', identical to the other, though it is missing Mr Ginsberg's signature. Much love, your Sunflower. 1988._ "

Loki stared at the inscription for a moment before flipping through the pages to see if he could figure out which poem the inscriber had indicated. When he landed on Sunflower Sutra, he knew he had found it. He went to Brynja's bed and sat down to read it out loud, a habit he had made when reading poetry in her room after he had realised that since no one was listening, he could finally try to decipher the Burns book.

He read the poem twice, just to make sure that its meaning settled on him. He wondered if any of her other books had inscriptions like this one, so leaving Howl on the bed, he went back to the dresser and pulled out a black bound volume- For Whom The Bell Tolls. He flipped open the cover and found another inscription, " _Darling, I know we must part, but may this be a final gift to you. Shine wherever you go- take your light into the poppy fields of Europe and bring peace where you land. You will always be in my heart, your Starlet._ "

Loki carefully placed the book back on the shelf and wondered if the woman in the photographs on top of the trunks was the same one who signed the inscription. He realised he had never thought to look to see if Brynja had left inscriptions in the books she had passed to him during his confinement. He selected his favourite off the dresser- the Blake poetry, " _Loki- William Blake thought he saw angels and they opened his eyes to the truth of the world. I am no angel, but perhaps through Blake you can gain a little knowledge of the truth beyond this world. Keep your heart looking forward, I will not leave you forever. Yours, Brynja._ "

As he slipped the book back on the shelf, he knocked over the adjacent volumes. A letter floated out to the floor. He retrieved it and was about to put it back between the books when he realised that his name was written on it. The paper felt a little brittle, as though the pressure from the books had made it thin. He took it over to the breakfast table, picking up Howl from the bed as he passed. He sat down and set this old letter next to the one he had received today, the paper from the past clearly faded.

He slowly opened it, " _Loki, my dearest, these past few days have been delightful. I think you have been more yourself since I awoke from Witchery's sleep than I have seen you in years. You play and joke as you did before you found out who your father was. I wish I saw this side of you more often. It is truly beautiful and I am drawn to your smile- I love how happy you are._

_"It isn't just your happiness that I am drawn to, but the way you make me laugh along with you, the tender way you tease me when you catch me off guard when you make mischief of one kind or another. The light touch of your hand on my back as you guide me through some new and fascinating illusion you've conjured or as we dance together in front of the fireplace, our lips so close we are a breath away from a kiss. I know this cannot last- that you will be asked to take on the grave task of ruling this place and that you will accept to save us both from Othik's rage- but I have decided to make the most of this and to open my heart to you so that I can feel our time together more fully. Of course, that means when all this shit hits the fan, it's going to hurt all that much more, but isn't that what life's for? For feeling all the intense crap that we can and embracing the ability to feel so fully that we regret nothing when we die?_

_"I wish I could shelter you, keep you like this, but I know I cannot. All I know is that you are going to betray me by sending me back to Asgard. Hell, by the time you read this, you most likely already will have. I will be hurt. I will be angry. I will want to scream and cry and punch you in the face. Most of all, though, I will be in pain because I will have, for this short time, let myself love you deeply and will know that when you take the throne, Father will call me back to be married. I will hate you for this as intensely as I love you._

_"Know this, Loki Laufeyson: I will mourn the loss of you one way or another, whether you are dead or I am called home to uphold the bargain we made for your freedom. I do not know under what circumstances you will be reading this letter, whether it is ten days or ten years after I have written it. I only hope if you do read it, that it both stabs you and heals something in you._

_"I hold you in my heart, now and forever after, Bryn._ "

Loki stared at the letter, "She loved me." He looked back over the first letter he had read that day and wondered if she might still, even just a little. Realising that this was unlikely, he pressed it close to his heart, his head bowed, and felt the stab of regret she had wished for him in the letter.


	24. Chapter 24

It only took Brynja a day to decide that she was going to take the girls to Midgard to sort out their lives. She spoke to her mother again and learned that Fandral was insistent that she be returned to him- this is what he had said to Odin on her first day missing- his wife was his and he must have her back at any cost. He had not mentioned the children and Odin's reception had been chilly. His request to search the city, flooding it with soldiers, had been denied. Frigga returned to Odin later in the evening and relayed messages from Freyja and Brynja. Brynja had been struck by her husband, her movements restricted and her letters hidden. Frigga did not tell Odin who the letters had been from. Brynja would, Frigga explained, be retreating to a cabin in the mountains in Midgard in order to sort her thoughts out, read her letters, and relax in the quiet. Freyja had told Frigga to make sure Odin understood that she supported Brynja's decision and would stand between her and any interference. Odin did not protest.

The cabin in the mountains was exactly where Brynja had remembered it, its condition largely unchanged. It sat far back off the road, separated from the main house occupied by its owners by a large pond and a very long driveway. The cabin had no electric power, a propane cookstove, and only a small wood stove for heat. Thankfully, the weather was pleasant in New York. The cool stream that trickled by the cabin provided a welcome relief from the sun during the warmest summer days, the little fish in it nibbling on the toes of anyone who sat still long enough for them to gather.

The children loved exploring the woods with Brynja, discovering flowers and creatures they did not have in Asgard. They caught tiny black newts near the stream and snuggled close to their mother at night, their collective body heat keeping the chill at bay.

When Brynja finally placed the letters in date order, she began reading. The early letters were merely descriptive, encouraging her that ruling Jotunheim was not such a complicated thing and he had not encountered any violent resistance to his takeover. He discussed the weather and the changes he had made to the temple along with the things he was trying to do to keep those who stood against him happy.

Five years in and the letters were more frequent and much darker, reflecting Loki's desperation to keep the realm from dissolving into civil war. They began to speak of longing for her company, her laughter, her Witchery, and her touch. He was very lonely, often going days without speaking to someone, his only conversation revolving around politics. He distrusted Othik, that much was very clear, and he once again lamented that he had not felt the warmth of her body beside his in so long. As time progressed, his letters focused less on the politics of the realm and more on his longing for someone to share his time with. He mentioned more than once that he felt desperate for someone to hold him through the long nights, especially during the very dark Jotunheim winter. One letter said, " _Bryn, I have been oft remembering the nights I spent under your blankets, my arms around you, the warm of your being a refuge from the pressures of the decision I had to make and a reminder of what I had nearly lost and would likely lose again. I long yet again to be next to you at nights. I have ceased sleeping and fear for my life constantly and your presence was always such a comfort that I know I would take great solace in it now. I hope whomever you are wed to appreciates the beauty and trust of those moments. Yours, Loki._ " He reminisced wistfully and often asked why she did not write.

While she was reading one of Loki's letters, one in which he said, " _I am, in a way, glad to have taken the throne. I have seen Othik's rage directed at those under him and I have, I believe, protected you from a torture at least as horrible as what I endured. My torturers were creative and vengeful. Othik is their equal in a single, very strong being. And you, of all people, ought never to experience anything so terrible. While I may have, in their minds, deserved everything they did, you could never have done anything so atrocious as to deserve even a single cut,_ " something clicked in her mind. Fandral's words about Loki- "he deserved everything we did to him" suddenly made sense. Creative and vengeful, at least one of Fandral's warrior friends had been with him torturing Loki.

She set aside the letter and checked that the children were playing happily in the creek before she let herself cry, the letter clutched to her heart, "My god, Loki, I'm so sorry..." as she realised she had told him in her first letter that she had married one of the people who had caused him so much pain.

It took her a month to get through every letter. After she did, she offered to take Katja and Sunny to other places in Midgard, but both had fallen in love with the little cabin and were not to keen to leave it. As the fall colours changed and the cold at nights turned bitter, they changed their minds and asked to go somewhere warmer. She packed their belongings into the old station wagon she had purchased from an old man's estate and drove them to California to see the sun shining in the desert, the air warm even in December. Despite the cold back in New York, the girls still missed the cabin.

Brynja sent Loki a postcard of sunny skies and windswept sand, " _We spent most of the past few months in a cabin in the mountains- someplace I've loved for many years and someplace I hope to show you one day. It had little heat, though, and the year turned chilly, so we're in California exploring the cities and the desert alike. Please hold on, we will be coming soon. Bryn._ "

Katja watched her send the letter, "When will we get to visit Jotunheim, Mother? You keep saying soon, but when is soon?"

Brynja saw the letter disappear in a flash and sighed, "I don't quite know, yet, but the time doesn't feel right."

Sunny joined the conversation, "You're waiting for something but you don't know what, Mother. I think you are just going to have to pick a day and we'll go."

Brynja smiled at Sunny, "You're probably right, love. I don't know what I'm waiting for. Shall we pack up next week and head there?"

Katja nodded, "I'll make some armor and a sword in case we have to fight off fearsome beasts. You get the bags packed."

Brynja shook her head, "Child, the stories your father told you of Jotunheim are not all that the place is- there are far more inhabitants of that realm than just monsters. I will not enter as a warrior, but as an old friend."

A week later, she'd sold the car, came up with an excuse to break the lease on her flat (an old friend was very ill and she needed to move home immediately to help care for him as the end of his life neared) and their bags were packed.

Brynja sent her last postcard to Loki- a photograph of the mountains she had left in New York; on it she simply wrote, " _I'm coming home. Please leave a light on for me._ "

They arrived first in Asgard, Heimdall having brought them for a brief meeting with Freyja. Standing on the Bifrost, Freyja bid them farewell, smiling, "May you find what you seek, wanderer. Be careful, Loki's realm is on the edge of war and you do not know what you will see when you arrive. I hope he receives you as warmly as you anticipate."

Brynja hugged Freyja and turned away from Asgard, "Well, girls, this is where things get interesting."

Katja raised her eyebrows, "Wait, the past three months in Midgard wasn't interesting?"

Her mother took her and her sister's hands, "Oh, not the way this will be, darlings. Jotunheim is like nothing you have ever seen before."

It was not long before they felt the shock of cold air against their skin as they landed not far from the temple entrance. There were multiple Jotun guards near the gate. Brynja pulled her children close and together they approached.

When she was near enough to be heard, she announced herself, "Brynja, daughter of Odin, princess of Asgard and her children. I seek an audience with King Loki Laufeyson."

The guards regarded her with suspicion, "And what would an Asgardian want with our king?"

She responded briskly, "I came with him on his return to Jotunheim. I lived here, too. I sent word to him that I was on my way earlier today."

"We did not receive it," one of the guards growled.

"That does not mean I wish an audience with your king any less urgently," she replied.

Someone opened a slot in the door and whispered something to the guards; they glared at Brynja and her children, but stepped aside, "Word has just reached us of your pending arrival. Orders are to escort you to the throne room immediately."

She followed the Jotun who had brought the news as they stepped into the hall; he spoke, "Loki will be pleased to know you arrived safely. He has been trying to hide his enthusiasm for your visit all day from the ever-inquiring Othik, but it is obvious he has been looking forward to this for many years."

Brynja recognised the voice, "Bel?"

He turned to her and smiled, "Of course, Brynja. Loki trusted no one else to wait at the door to greet you and to bring you safely to him."

"He sent me many letters- I only recently received them."

Bel nodded, "He mentioned that. He has changed much over the years, Brynja. He rarely smiles. He has managed not to have too many executed and his anger has been kept well controlled- unlike his father, he has had no one tortured- perhaps the only Jotun king to hold such a record. I believe his thirst for a kingdom faltered shortly after he realised just what it takes to actually rule one, especially to rule this one. I do not know what his heart holds, but be warned, he is not the mischievous prince you once knew."

Brynja sighed, "I hope there's still something familiar left in him."

They reached the throne room and Bel passed the guards without speaking to them, "There will be," he answered her.

He opened the doors and stepped inside, raising his voice to announce her, "Lady Brynja of the house of Odin, princess of Asgard, and her children have arrived, your Highness."

Loki rose from the throne and pounded his sceptre of ice once on the dias, "Clear the throne room, I wish a private audience."

Sunny tugged on her mother's cloak, "Mum, he's Jotun! I thought you said he looked like us."

Brynja whispered, "Time changes us all, love, and you know he was born here in Jotunheim."

The Jotun advisors who had been discussing politics filtered out, only Othik lingering, "Your Highness, perhaps a private audience is not wise. You do not know what they wish to see you for or if their intentions are noble or devious."

Loki stepped off the last stair down from the throne and turned to Othik, "When I ask for a private audience, I will have a private audience. If I wish your opinion on the matter, I will seek it out. Now leave." Muttering, Othik turned away from the throne.

As Othik passed Brynja, he hissed, "Watch yourself, Asgardian. You and your spawn are not welcome here."

Loki did not hear what was said, but he knew well enough what Othik thought of Brynja, "Othik? If you even harm one single hair on their heads, you will feel the full force of my rage and I will personally kill you in the most terrible way I can think of. There will be no mercy for anyone who causes any injury to my guests. Do I make this perfectly, unmistakably clear?"

Othik turned back toward the throne and bowed, an sinister smile on his face, "Of course, your Majesty." He then quickly exited the throne room, scowling. Bel bowed to both Brynja and Loki before following Othik to the door.

Bel left after Othik and closed the doors to the throne room behind him, the two guards still remaining on the inside of the room. Loki glanced at the guards and gestured for Brynja and her daughters to come forward. They did and all three bowed when they were directly in front of him, their heads kept low.

"Bryn, please," he said quietly as he lifted her chin with his fingertips, "we are old friends." He gestured to the guards at the end of the room, "I would like to retire with these three to a more secluded space." The guards followed as he walked to the door behind the throne. Brynja, her daughters still clutching her hands, followed.

When the door clicked shut behind them in the same private chamber in which she had met with Halifrey close to a decade ago, Loki's formality dropped. He laid the ice sceptre on one of the benches and took off his iron crown, his colour fading from blue to the pale Asgardian shade Sunny had expected. He stepped closer to Brynja.

Brynja let go of the girls' hands, "Katja, Sunny, this is Loki. Loki, my daughters. Please, sit, children." They went to one of the large stone benches and sat down, tossing their bags next to them. Loki greeted them kindly once they had settled.

Brynja dropped her duffel bag and the quilted bag next to their bench before she stepped back to Loki; he did not seem to know what to do, so she took his hands, "Loki...it's been so long. I feel like I should slap you for sending me back to Asgard, but it wasn't like you had a good choice to make."

He slipped his hands free and wrapped his arms around her, his fingers dancing along the edge of her hair as he held her tight, "My god, Brynja, I thought I would never see you again," he shuddered, a rush of relief and years of pent up worry for her well-being showing themselves as he cried softly for the first time since she had been pulled back to Asgard.

Brynja held him gently while barely containing her own tears and whispered, "I know, darling, I know. I was sure I would sooner see your body dragged back to Asgard as a trophy or your execution in Father's courtyard than to ever hold you again. I've missed you more than I can say." She guided him to an empty bench and they sat down together, Loki cuddling close to her as he struggled to regain control of his emotions.

It wasn't long before Brynja was weeping too, though, as she told him of her unhappy marriage, the years of silencing, and the scene Fandral had made at Katja's birthday party that finally broke her resolve to stay.

Loki sat up and brushed the tears from his cheeks before doing the same for her, "How long? How long are you here for?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. As long as it is safe for us to be. Midgard was wonderful, but I need to find my feet, to figure out what to say to Fandral if we return to Asgard, and to decide if I can return there at all. I also need to get to know you again. I want to be a part of both Jotunheim and Asgard and I do not know if I will be allowed that."

He nodded, "You will always be welcome here as long as I am king...of course, with the way things are going, that might not be for very long, but I will do my best to keep you and your girls safe. And no lies, no trickery, no deception."

Brynja rested her head on his shoulder, "Bel said you had changed, that you were a serious king in serious times, essentially. It has been a decade, hasn't it?"

Loki took her hand, weaving his fingers between hers, "It has, and yes, I have. There has been much to worry about. I have had no time for play and hardly any for rest. This world is falling apart at the seams and I have done all I can to keep it together and yet I fear it is far too little."

Sunny, unable to contain herself any longer, interrupted, "Why were you blue when we first saw you?" Katja tried to hush her sister.

Loki chuckled, "Little one, the Jotun people do not want a king that is not like them. While I was born here, I have seen myself as Asgardian since childhood and therefore I appear that way- I do not entirely understand how it works, but this is how the Allfather explained it. I can become Jotun when I touch relics of this place, or the Jotun themselves, or I can create the illusion. Since I cannot use my sorcery in the throne room, Othik thought it best that I hold a relic at all times, something to remind my subjects that I am one of them. The sceptre does that for me."

Katja piped up, "Will it turn anyone else blue?"

He shook his head, "No, child, and though I do not know for certain, I have a feeling it would cause any of you great harm to touch it. The touch of the Jotun can cause severe damage to those of Asgard, as your mother well knows."

"Then how come  _you_  can touch Mother?" Sunny asked.

"I don't know. I have never been a danger to Asgard in that regard."

Katja chimed up again, "Father says you're a dangerous and horrible person and you deserve to have your head on a pike in Grandfather's courtyard."

Loki replied, "Well your father and I have been on the opposite side of war. War does not make men fast friends."

Sunny added her opinion, "It probably also didn't help that you did take the throne from Grandfather at one point. I'm sure that didn't gain any love from our father, either."

Loki smiled a bit ruefully, "No, I'm sure it didn't. Nor did New Mexico, or my attempted takeover of Midgard through the battle in New York. I've made my fair share of enemies, your father one of them. I cannot fault him for his opinion of me."

Brynja watched Loki's face as he spoke; he exhibited no anger or resentment, only a resignation to the outcomes of his actions, "The last time I knew you, a question like that would have resulted in a rant about how Thor and Odin had made you what you were and it was their fault that they could not accept how their treatment of you had made you do the things you have done. You've changed, Loki."

"I've accepted that I am what I am and what I have done, Bryn, for better or worse. Actions have reactions and I cannot act as though Thor, Odin, and the rest of Asgard were unreasonable. Remember what you told me, that whole broken road thing?" he answered.

She held up her hand, "Hold it. Have you memorised Spencer?" He looked confused, so she continued, "Because I think I hear a hint of 'Odin may be tolerable' in this conversation."

The memory recalled, Loki began laughing softly, "No, Bryn, I haven't...I suppose that means I've lost your challenge, haven't I?"

She poked his arm, "Yep, any luck on the Burns?"

His eyes bright, smile growing, he nodded enthusiastically, "Yes, actually! I've been spending time reading in your room...I had to move my things there when my old room was demolished to make way for a hallway. No one bothers me, so I sit at your breakfast table and read out loud. He was a struggle to be sure, but I have to admit, Address to a Haggis is hilarious...and I can't understand half of it and don't even know what a haggis is!" he quietly giggled, which caused Brynja to do the same.

Katja whispered to Sunny, "What the heck is a haggis?"

Sunny shook her head, "No idea."

Brynja rounded her hands in front of her, "Well it's a food item about this big that's basically all the bits of a sheep you don't want to eat on their own ground up, seasoned, and stuffed in the sheep's stomach before it's cooked. Some folks quite like it. I think it's a rather repulsive dish myself."

Sunny stuck out her tongue, "Ewwww! Where do they eat that?!"

Her mother replied, "Midgardian country called Scotland is where it's native to. Some folks eat it outside of that nation, but not a whole lot. Most people look at what it's made of and run, but they still eat hot dogs."

Katja held up her hand, "Don't even bother to tell us what's in a hot dog."

Loki snickered, "She's quick. I'm pretty sure I don't want to know, either."

Katja beamed, "I'm even quicker when I'm not famished and exhausted from the journey!"

It was then that he realised he had neither offered his guests food or rest, "Oh my, I'm so sorry- forgive my error, I forgot to offer. Bryn, do you remember how to get to your old room? It is ready for you. I apologise if my belongings make it too crowded. I hope it is still suitable." He rose, "I will go inform the kitchens to put supper together. After you've had a few moments to settle, please join me in the dining hall."

Brynja stood and hugged him once more, "Thank you, Loki. I can find my way."

He lightly kissed her cheek, "Welcome back, Bryn." He placed his crown back on his head, picked up his sceptre, and led them to the door. The girls followed their mother closely, still intimidated by the very tall Jotun guards who stood watch in the anteroom.

Brynja walked the children to her old room and opened the door. Nothing much had changed. Loki's wardrobe was next to hers, the dressing screen folded and leaning against the wall. His bed was pushed up beside hers, his nightstand beside it. Loki's trunk sat near the windows tucked back out of the way of the breakfast table. His books were on the dresser alongside hers.

Katja dropped her bag next to Loki's bed, "So do I get my own bed since there are two of them here?"

Sunny dropped her bags next to Katja's, "No, silly, you and I can share the big bed and Mother can take the smaller. It's not like they're across the room from each other, anyhow. The mattresses are so tight together you can't even fall between them."

Brynja walked to her wardrobe and opened the door, her finery exactly as she had left it, "Sunny's right. You girls will share the big bed. Now get your things put where you'd like them and hand me your cloaks so we can get them hung up. I don't want supper to get cold."


	25. Chapter 25

It took the girls a few days to adjust to the perpetual chill in the temple. Every morning, Bel delivered breakfast to their room, they took lunch in the dining hall alone, and they met Loki for supper. After a week, he began to come back to their room after supper to tell stories, both from the books on the shelves and stories from both the history of Asgard and the history of Jotunheim. Brynja occasionally even told a story from Midgardian history. Storytelling shortly was expanded to include illusions the girls could watch and explore, Loki and Brynja building the fantasy worlds together as they had done years before. The children were fascinated by the magic and stunned that their mother was able to use it. They were both even more surprised when they asked if she had shown their father what she could do and her answer was no.

One evening, when the girls had been tucked into bed and were sound asleep, Loki and Brynja sat at her breakfast table with tea, watching the stars, books on the table between them from their storytelling.

Loki took a few of the books back to the dresser and returned with Ginsberg's Howl, "Bryn, may I ask you something quite possibly very personal?"

As he sat down, she smiled, "Of course- when have I ever not answered your questions?"

He opened to the inscription and pointed to it, "Who was Sunflower?"

Brynja tenderly took the book from his hands and read the inscription, her fingers gently tracing over the handwriting, "She was so very dear to me. I loved her in a way I have loved so very few. She died a year later. She was so young, only 23, when the disease took her. It had only been identified as a disease a few years before. Nobody knew how to cure it- they still don't- but the drugs that make life long now for people with it didn't exist then. The disease was spread sexually or through blood- one of her former lovers had shared it with her. Sunflower fought it as best she could, but she met a terrible and painful death because of it. She's one of many warriors who lost that fight. I miss her still- her smile, her laugh, her sense of fun and play, and the way she would recite poetry at any opportunity. I'm sure you've figured out which poem in here was ours."

Loki reached across the table and took her hand, "Bryn...she was your lover? The woman who you have seen 'might have been' moments for in your Witchery?"

"Yes. One of many lovers over the years, but one of only a very few who I could have spent the rest of my life with."

"'We're not our skin of grime, we're not our dread bleak imageless locomotive, a beautiful golden sunflower inside...,'" Loki recited.

"Even as she died and her body withered, the disease destroying her in ways I could not imagine, yes, she was my beautiful golden Sunflower." Loki could feel her sadness from across the table. He did not know how to respond- he had never watched someone die from any sort of plague. Brynja rose slowly and went to her desk. She retrieved the photo album and brought it over to the table. He brought his chair next to hers and sat close to her.

She opened to the first page, "I only have one photo from my first trip in the 1920s. I landed in Chicago and spent a year there before hopping a train to Detroit. Both cities were alive with jazz and booze, the illegal bars the centre of city life. I loved it. I know there were a lot of bad men around town and I used my charm to meet a lot of low-level gangsters. This picture was taken in the United Artists theatre in Detroit the first year it was open- 1928. I left Midgard not very long after." She turned the page, "You'll recognise this woman. She's my Starlet." Loki stared at the images of the beautiful dark haired woman from the two larger photographs on the top of Brynja's trunks. The photographs were always glamorous, whether she was in a bathtub full of bubbles, surrounded by reporters, or in her silk loungewear. There were photographs of Brynja with her, her hair swept up, her suits tailored and her dresses nearly as stunning as those worn by her Starlet, her makeup perfect. Loki was drawn to one image in particular that was the size of a full page of the album- in it, Brynja was leaning out of the window of a panel truck handing a loaf of bread to a young woman in a very worn dress, a baby wrapped tightly on her back. The woman's eyes were desperate, her face gaunt and tired.

"When was this taken?" Loki asked.

"1936. I only came home a short time before going back. The United States and most of the rest of the world was in great suffering- people could not find work, their money ran out, and the were starving. The land was also drying up after years of poor farming practices and even the people living in once fertile regions suffered. I convinced my love to buy basic food items to hand out wherever we were. It wasn't much, overall, but to the families we helped, it meant the world."

"Was she another one of your great loves?" Loki asked.

Brynja nodded, "Yes. At least for a little while. She decided she couldn't handle the possibility of losing work if people found out she loved a woman, so she ended it. I packed my bags and went to Berlin. The persecutions in Germany got worse, though, for people who were different. I knew I had to leave when one of the cabaret girls I knew disappeared- Katja." She turned the page and showed him photographs of military men in the street, people standing at train stations, and on the next page, a picture of a very stern man giving an impassioned speech. "I came home before the war was fully underway, but things got much much worse after I left."

"Why, if she left you, do you keep her picture on the wall?" Loki seemed genuinely curious.

"Because I loved her all the same. We had fun together and the time we had was beautiful."

He put his arm around her shoulder, "Show me more of your life, Bryn."

She leaned into him and smiled, turning the page to reveal photographs of many different people and places from her time in Midgard from 1963 to 1975. The photos were in a mix of black and white and colour, everyone smiling and dressed in wild patterns and styles. She pointed out a few of the people on the different pages. After this came photographs from 1984 to 1997, another long trip. The photographs started off like the previous batch, colourful people all happy together. One by one, people disappeared from the pictures as time progressed, others in the images looking more and more unwell in each photograph.

Brynja pointed to one young woman, "This is Sunflower. If you want to see what this disease does, watch her." Loki watched. Sunflower was always smiling. There were a number of pictures of she and Brynja snuggled close, their faces often touching. The progression of Sunflower's disease all the more apparent next to Brynja's health. The photographs of others showed up less and less as Sunflower looked worse and was more often depicted in her bed. There was a birthday party, cake and all, in bed, friends bearing presents. Brynja's fingers traced the edge of a picture of her in bed beside Sunflower, her arms around thin shoulders. Loki felt her hesitate as she turned the page. The next photographs showed a skeletal, smiling young woman in a hospital bed hooked up to tubes and machines, a gold ring on a chain around her neck exactly like the ring Brynja wore on the chain around her own neck. The facing page had a single picture in the middle. It had been taken at a cemetery from far behind the mourning party. A few people stood back from the fresh grave in their black clothing, Brynja kneeling in front of the grave, a short black veil over her hair.

"There. That's what happened to her. She lost the fight." She stared sadly at the photographs.

Loki pulled her close, "I'm so sorry, Brynja."

"I buried her, Loki. No one else would claim her. I bought her a stone, I paid the preacher, and I told the man at the funeral parlor to cremate her," Brynja cried on Loki's shoulder.

"She had no family?" he asked quietly.

"They disowned her when they found out she was sick."

Loki stroked her hair, hoping it was comforting, "She was so lucky to have found you." He unclasped the chain around her neck and carefully removed the ring.

Brynja calmed a little, her cheek brushing his as she sat up, "I think I was lucky, too. After her death, I went to see the world." As she spoke, he slipped the ring on her hand, "I bought a book of the world's places and saw as much as I could for her. We had planned to do it together, but..." She smiled sadly as he placed his hand over hers, gently stroking the ring, "Back where it belongs. Thank you."

He bowed his head, "I hate to ask this at this moment, but...when this insurrection proves successful and I fall with a stroke of the axe, will you do the same for me? Will you bury me and mourn me as no one else will?"

Brynja nodded and gently kissed his cheek, "Of course, Loki."

"Place me beneath the tree on the hill that I remember from our childhood and read Horatio's last words to the Prince over my grave. That is all I ask for a funeral. I do not wish to be sent out on the boats or burned as is Asgard's custom."

She lifted his chin, "I will do my best to honour what you have asked."

Loki sighed, relieved to have had the conversation, "Thank you."

Brynja smiled, "Now let's think of happier things- perhaps your future is not so bleak."

"Or since it likely is, perhaps we can make what little time we have together the best it has ever been," he answered.

She glanced over at her still sleeping children, "I think, though, our adventures will have to wait until tomorrow- I feel like I'm going to fall over if I don't join them soon."

Loki stood and put his chair back on the other side of the table; she walked him to the door, "I'm so happy to have you back."

She hugged him, "I'm glad I made it. I've missed you- it's good to feel at home again."

He nuzzled her cheek, "Home?"

Brynja nodded, "Is where one's heart lies- I have my children, I have you."

Loki sighed, "Were you not still bound to Fandral I would ask to once again take refuge in your arms tonight."

She stepped back and squeezed his hands, "I know. Goodnight, Loki- sleep well, for tomorrow we play."

 


	26. Chapter 26

The next day after breakfast, Loki sent for Brynja and her daughters and they met in the corner of windows that once was a part of his bedroom. He took them exploring through the temple, showing the girls nooks and crannies they could safely play in, places he had tucked little trinkets or treasures early that morning. Coins, ice sculptures, or sparkling rocks met them tucked in places they discovered. When they took a break for lunch, Loki happily cast illusions over the dining hall to thrill the children and bring a smile to Brynja's face. He began to feel the same contentment that he had felt after she awoke from the deep and healing sleep that followed her Witchery years ago. Once again, though, it was clouded by an impending change, one that would quite possibly lead to the end of their time together permanently.

After lunch, he found a large empty room and cast a glamour over it, one that turned it into a grand ballroom filled with music, and they danced, the four of them, for hours. The children's laughter echoed off the ceiling and walls. Loki believed that he had possibly found one of the best uses of his magic and, for once, it had nothing to do with him. The game ended only when they were too tired to continue dancing, Brynja collapsing against him, laughing, as she stumbled through the steps. They retreated to Brynja's room for stories before supper and ate together once again in the dining hall. As they were leaving, Loki was pulled aside by one of his guards and gestured for the others not to wait for him. Brynja brought her daughters back to their room.

Katja twirled in front of the fireplace, giggling, "Oh, Mother, I've had so much fun today! Can we stay here forever? I like playing with Loki."

Sunny flopped back on the bed, "I'm not sure I could do this every day- I'm so tired! But you're right, Kat, it was fun!"

Brynja readied nightclothes and began to dim the lamps for the night, "We will stay here as long as we are welcome, loves. I've missed this, too."

Sunny turned over on the bed, "You mean you got to play like this when it was just you, too?"

Katja piped up, "He doesn't just do this for kids?"

Brynja nudged Katja toward her pajamas, "I don't think he's done this for anyone else but me and you girls- we told stories when we were together here a decade ago. He hasn't really had much of a chance to play in such a long time. Before we came to Jotunheim, he was imprisoned for fifteen years and before that, he was trying to take over different realms and failing each time. Years ago, he would spar with Thor or try to impress Sif, Volstagg, Hogan, and Fandral with his magic, using it to create beasts for them to battle or fields of enemies for them to practice their attacks with, but it has been a long time since he made anything pretty or did anything fanciful with his sorcery. It must have been Mother who was his first audience for that."

Sunny sighed, "I suddenly feel really special knowing that he did this for us."

Katja tugged on her nightclothes, "Yeah, it's pretty awesome that he's not all kingy around us, too. I mean, yeah, the blue is a little different, but other than that, he seems pretty normal. Not the crazy man Father always made him out to be."

Brynja responded, "Don't think that Loki can't be dangerous if he decides to be. He can be very very wicked if he wants...but he has been very careful not to hurt me and he has changed over the years. I do not think you children have anything to fear from him."

As she tucked her daughters in bed, Sunny asked, "Do you think we'll ever see him being wicked? I mean, Uncle Thor talks about him as though there were nothing good left in Loki's heart. He talks about a seige on New York that got out of hand and a truly horrible time when Loki stole Grandfather's throne."

"Loki has done those things, yes. When he learned he was born of Jotun parents, he felt as though everything your Grandfather had ever told him had been a lie. His hatred of him grew very deep and he decided that he would have to prove your Grandfather's words about him never being a king wrong. Loki was a hurt child at that point- yes, he was grown, but in his heart he felt very much like you would if you were told I was not your mother and your entire growing up you had been told you could be a great warrior and suddenly you were told it would never happen. You would be hurt, too. You might throw a fit, you might try to take something that wasn't yours to prove you were worthy. And that is what he did. He tried many times and failed each time."

Katja asked, "But how is he king here, then?"

Brynja sighed, "Because when we came here, he was violently persuaded to take Othik's offer of the throne. He is the son of Laufey, formerly king of Jotunheim. Laufey was both his father and Halifrey's father. Halifrey was the king defeated by Othik and his men that Loki replaced. Even though he is not a prince of Asgard by blood, he is very much royalty in this place. He was handed the opportunity to finally be a king and he took it, though not without being threatened first."

Both girls thought about what their mother had said; Sunny broke the silence first, "So nobody told him he was adopted when he was younger?"

"No, love, no one did. It hurt him very deeply to discover that all the promises that being the son of Odin brought were suddenly not available to him."

Katja nodded, "I get it. You're right, I'd be really angry, too. I wouldn't think about things, either, I'd just do them- I mean, if you can't have your dreams any other way, why not? It's somebody else's lot and they're going to get it, I might as well do what I can to not feel like I'd been thrown away, all my hard work smashed."

Brynja kissed both girls goodnight, "Exactly. And it has taken him many years to work through this, many defeats, many deaths, and a lot of pain on his part. By all the laws of Asgard, he should have been executed long ago."

Sunny was already drifting off to sleep and Katja snuggled close to her, "I hope he makes better choices now," Katja said.

Brynja smiled, "Oh, I think he does, darling. I think he really tries. Remember, though, he is no saint and we all make mistakes, some of them very big. No one should be placed on a pedestal." She tucked the blankets around the girls, turned out the closest lamps, and put another log on the fire. The remaining light in the room provided just enough glow to read at the breakfast table or to lay out clothing for the following day. Brynja put on her own nightgown and robe before setting out their garments.

While Brynja and her girls were talking about Loki's past, his future was being determined. He had been called to the throne room where a crowd of Bel's followers had gathered. Loki understood what this meant.

Someone announced, "Bel, son of Halifrey, challenges Loki, son of Laufey, for the throne of Jotunheim."

Loki approached the throne where Bel stood and Bel said, "Loki Laufeyson, as is the way of kings, I challenge you to hand-to-hand combat for the throne."

"I accept this challenge."

Bel bowed to Loki, Loki bowed to Bel, and they circled one another, each waiting for the right opportunity to catch the other one off guard. Loki struck first with his sceptre, but Bel, quick to perceive the attack, blocked it easily and struck back. Loki dodged. He pulled his dagger from his belt and struck again, this time catching Bel's arm. Bel reacted swiftly, swinging his other arm around and connecting with Loki's head. Loki staggered backwards, dropping the staff but maintaining his hold on his dagger. He quickly regained his balance, but not fast enough. Bel struck again and again until Loki lost the dagger and was pressed against the wall, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth.

Loki raised a hand, "Enough. I surrender, the crown is yours."

Bel took a step back, "Loki Laufeyson, I am going to grant you a brief reprieve from your death for Lady Brynja's sake. You have one night to set your affairs in order. At dawn, you will be executed and I will take the crown after your head falls from your shoulders. Retrieve your sceptre and dagger and go. No tricks, though, sorcerer. I will know."

Loki pulled himself to his feet, the wall supporting him; he took a moment to breathe before stepping out from it, "Thank you, Bel Halifreyson. She will be very grateful for these last few hours. As am I."

Bel stepped aside, watching Loki carefully as he picked up his sceptre and dagger, "Othik, however, will get no such reprieve," Bel stated, turning to Othik, who shrank back into the crowd but was roughly pushed forward by those behind him. Loki said nothing, wasting no time leaving the hall. He made his way to his chambers and looked around. A single trunk's worth of clothes, his letters, his writing kit- that was all he had brought with him when he took up residence in these rooms. He packed his clothing carefully, folding things neatly in the trunk, numb to the reality of what the morning would bring. He tucked his writing kit on top of the clothes and set his letters beside them. There was one letter he did not include in the trunk, though. The letter he had discovered between Brynja's books was carefully folded and tucked in a leather pocket that hung around his neck close to his heart. He had worn the pocket ever since he had discovered the letter, careful to remove it whenever it could possibly have been damaged. He'd sewn the pocket himself from the scraps Brynja had used to repair his armor. He touched where the pocket rested under his clothes, wondering if he should remove it before dawn or die with the pocket still hanging around his neck.

Loki left the trunk by the door and went to Brynja's room, hating the news he would bring to her, "No lies, no trickery, no deception," he reminded himself as he walked the halls. He stopped outside her door, hesitating before he knocked.

Brynja was choosing a book to read before bed when she heard the soft knock on her door. She adjusted her robe and answered the door.

"May I come in?" Loki asked quietly.

She could tell something was wrong and not just from the drying blood smudged at the corner of his lips, "Of course. What's happened?"

He did not answer. He closed the door behind him and leaned his sceptre against the wall, his colour fading as he removed his crown and hung it on a cloak hook. He then began to unbuckle his armor.

She watched him and waited, wondering just what was on his mind, "Loki, the suspense is killing me."

His armor on the floor under the cloaks, he straightened his shirt and stepped closer to her, taking both her hands, "Bryn...I...I...Bel challenged me for the throne. I lost. I will be executed at dawn." He hated saying the words, his voice wavering as he did.

Brynja went pale and Loki was afraid she was going to faint, "No...oh god, Loki, no." He wrapped his arms around her and she began sobbing into his shoulder. His own sorrow became too much to hide and he cried with her, both of them clinging tightly to the other, sinking to their knees. He whispered he was sorry over and over between sobs. She was unable to speak, hardly able to stay upright. When they both were able to gain some control over their emotions, they went sit on his bed, tears still streaming down their faces. She used the sleeve of her robe to wipe his face and to rub off the drying blood.

"Loki...what do we need to do tonight to make these last few hours all we can?" she asked.

Loki shook his head, "I don't know. I don't want to waste it in sleep." He paused, "God, Bryn, there's so much left to do and say..."

"And to think," she responded, "That you once believed you had nothing left, a dagger ready to end everything in only a few moments."

"At that point I didn't, Bryn- why should I have wanted to live? Now you are so much a part of my life, even after ten years absent, and your children are here and things are so different..." He slipped his arm around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder, "Tell me one thing, Brynja...are you proud of me? For what I have done, for what I have been and become?"

She brushed her fingers through his hair, "Yes. Every inch, even in your darkest days."

"Thank you. Even if you are lying to me so this hurts less, thank you," he whispered.

She reached for the hairbrush on the bedside table, "No lies, no trickery, no deception. Now turn around and let me brush your hair- I never have and it's always a comfort when someone brushes mine."

He did as she asked and sat in silence, thinking, as she gently worked through his hair, tangled from the fight against Bel. He brushed the leather pocket beneath his shirt, wondering if he should tell her that he had read it and that he kept it so close. He glanced over at the two sleeping children, hoping that they would remember him fondly and wishing he had more time with them.

Brynja was equally deep in thought, wondering if she should wake her daughters and ultimately deciding against it. She wanted these last few hours to be hers and hers alone. To try to figure out what she wanted her last words to him to be. To make it clear to him that she would not forget him or the changes he had brought to her life. She brushed his hair until its soft waves felt like silk beneath her fingers.

She leaned back on the bed, propped up by pillows, and returned the brush to the nightstand, "Come here, curl up with me."

Loki snuggled beside her, "I shouldn't have let you go, Bryn. I should have resisted Othik and just kept you next to me. We wouldn't be facing dawn this way if I had."

Brynja held him close, his head resting high on her chest, "If you had done that, I wouldn't have my two beautiful girls, though, and you wouldn't be all the wiser from your years on the throne. Don't have regrets, Loki. Embrace your decisions as yours, for better or worse. They all led you somewhere."

He shook his head, "Bryn, the broken road has brought me to death at first light. I'm not sure I like it right now."

"It is what it is. I'm just trying to tell you not to go to your death with your heart full of regrets."

He rested a hand on her waist, "Is there anything you need to say before morning? I can hardly sort through my thoughts to know what I want to tell you."

Brynja sighed, "I want you to know you have never been far from my thoughts and you have always held a sacred place in my heart. Fandral could not change that. Death will not change that." She stopped and slipped her hand under his shirt, tracing the long, deep scar across his stomach, "And I know- I know Fandral was one of the people who did this to you. I'm so sorry I didn't know when I wrote back." Loki caught her hand and brought her fingers to his lips, tenderly kissing them, his actions his forgiveness. She paused, enjoying the beauty of the moment, knowing that if he asked, there was something he needed to find the courage to say as well, "And you? What is on your heart?"

Loki closed his eyes, thinking; there was a question he deeply desired to ask, but he did not want to in case the answer was no, so he said something close to it instead, "Brynja, you are the first person since Mother to embrace me as I am, mistakes and Jotun blood included...I have never held someone so dear, I have never rested beside someone and felt so safe, as though I belonged in those arms. I have never felt as though something about me made me worthy of such great trust. Forgive my asking, as you are wed and I do not mean to make this more difficult, but for this night, will you accept the humble affections of this disgraced king?"

Brynja brushed her fingers through his hair, "Of course, Loki, and always after."

He took her hand and held it against his heart, "Please, don't watch. I don't want you to have to see another friend die. I promise you, I'll be fine without you there, and while I would love for you to be my last sight, I don't want it to happen this way."

She squeezed his hand and tried to keep the tears from streaming down her cheeks again; she failed, "I give you my word." He let himself cry with her as she began to sing the song about the broken road softly to him through her tears. She fell asleep shortly after he did, her song fading as she drifted off.

Sunny turned over as she heard her mother singing. She recognised the song- one of the many Brynja had learned in Midgard, one of the many Fandral had told her never to sing. She wondered what was going on, but saw Loki curled tight against her mother and knew that there must be something difficult happening that she would find out about in the morning. She turned back to her sister, pondering as she fell asleep why Loki was clutching her mother as though his life itself depended on holding her as tightly as possible.

Brynja woke first just as the first grey of morning edged over the horizon. She kissed Loki's forehead and untangled herself from him, leaving the bed and hoping not to wake him. She slipped out of the room to the bathroom and filled a water pitcher with warm water, the basin waiting in her room. When she returned, Loki was just sitting up. She filled the basin and brought it to the bedside table and went to find a washcloth in her dresser. She wet the cloth, wrung it out, and proceeded to wash the sleep and tear streaks from his face. He caught her hand as she finished and took the cloth from her, rinsing it in the basin and doing the same for her. He rose and went to his wardrobe, looking for what he wanted to wear for his final moments. The very soft, sage tunic that Brynja had been attracted to when packing his room caught his eye. Silver and gold embroidery traced the shirt's neckline and sleeve edges.

Brynja set up the dressing screen and went to Loki's side, "It's beautiful."

Loki nodded, "Precisely why I hesitate to stain it with my blood."

She brushed the fabric with her fingertips, "If it makes you happy to wear it, do. It will also be what you are laid to rest in."

He nodded and took it, along with a pair of fine black trousers, behind the dressing screen. Brynja found a matching ribbon in her desk and opened her jewellery box. There was something she wanted him to have, something she had been given many years ago. When he stepped from the screen, she gestured for him to turn around and he did without question. She brushed his hair, tied it back with the ribbon, and turned him gently around.

"Please, Loki- take this ring with you." She handed a silver ring with a black stone in the centre to him, "It belonged to Mother, the rune carved in the inside stands for the house of her father- the ring was once his."

Loki accepted the gift and slipped the ring on his finger. The sky outside was lightening and he knew they had only a short while before dawn. He retrieved his sceptre and his crown, the blue creeping up his arm and across his body.

He leaned the sceptre on his shoulder and knelt in front of Brynja, holding the crown up to her on his upturned palms, "Brynja, crown me this final time." She took the crown, he slightly bowed his head, and she placed the crown on his head. He rose, sceptre in hand, "We have only a few moments left."

Brynja stood in front of him and took his free hand, her other resting over where he gripped the staff, "I...Loki, I... Shit, this sucks. I can't lose you."

There was a knock on the door and a guard called, "It is dawn."

Loki called back, "I will be with you in just one moment."

"Make it a quick one. Bel Halifreyson is waiting."

Loki dropped her hand, placed his against her cheek, "I have only one regret and that is that I did not ask you to be my queen when I had the chance," He kissed her lips, trying to put every word he had never said into one tender moment. The guard knocked again, but neither Loki nor Brynja noticed. As she returned the kiss, her heart was breaking, tears flowing down her cheeks.

When he pulled back from her, he kissed her forehead quickly before saying, "Goodbye, my love." He turned away and opened the door without looking back. It clicked shut and Brynja was left standing alone. Her fingers brushed her lips as she sobbed silently.

Meanwhile, in Asgard, Heimdall stood looking out at the universe with Freyja by his side, "Do you see them?" she asked as she did every morning.

He nodded, "Yes. But this is a sad morning."

She took a deep breath, "Describe what you see."

He did.

Loki walked to the throne room with his eyes focused forward, each step his heart sinking just a little more, not because he was approaching his death but because each step took him closer to permanently leaving Brynja behind. Brynja who felt strongly enough for him that she had kissed him so passionately while he appeared Jotun, his blue skin still not repulsive to her. He remembered when she had kissed his cheek so long ago and told him he would always be beautiful to her. He entered the throne room forcing his breathing to be even, his eyes on Bel. The crowd he walked through was silent.

Bel greeted him with a bow, "Loki Laufeyson, King of Jotunheim. Are you ready to meet your fate?"

Loki took a slow, deep breath and sank to his knees, "Yes, Bel Halifreyson, soon to be King of Jotunheim, I am."

Bel lowered his voice, "I bear you no ill-will. This is the way of kings. You have done well here, I am proud to be the one to wield the axe against you, a most worthy opponent. I will make the fatal stroke quick and clean. Do you have any last requests?"

Loki nodded, "Two, yes, and only one of those for myself. I ask that you allow my body to be retrieved by Lady Brynja to be buried in the manner I have requested of her."

"And the request not for yourself?" Bel asked.

"I ask that you continue to treat Lady Brynja and her children as guests in these halls. She has done you no harm and done no wrong in her time here. She came here seeking refuge from the sorrows of her life and I have only brought more to her. Please do not add to them. Show them mercy, as they are innocents in all of this."

Bel smiled gently, "Of course, Loki. Lady Brynja shall remain a guest in this realm as long as she wishes it for as long as I am king. No harm will come to them, you have my word."

Loki sighed in relief, "Thank you."

Bel took the ceremonial axe from a guard standing nearby, "Bow your head, Laufeyson, and I will make this fast."

Loki bowed his head. He heard Bel grunt as he lifted the heavy axe. He heard it sing through the air as it fell. Then all he knew was darkness.

His crown and sceptre clattered to the floor. The staff shattered on impact. The crown rolled towards Bel's feet. He picked it up and placed it on his head.

 


	27. Chapter 27

Brynja finally moved from the spot Loki had left her. She had felt rooted there for many minutes. She went to her wardrobe and pushed aside her finery to where a long black dress hung alongside layers of black skirts and shawls. She pulled the pieces from the closet and placed the clothes she had laid out the night before in her dresser. She knew she would not be able to sleep, so she stepped behind the dressing screen. She saw Loki's discarded shirt from the night before and picked it up, crying into the fabric. She pulled herself together and set the shirt down. There would be numerous things of his she would have to figure out what to do with in the coming days. She dressed in her blacks, stepped out to brush her hair, and saw Katja and Sunny both sitting up in bed.

Katja stared at her mother's dress, "You're really fancy."

Sunny smacked her sister's arm, "Shut it, Kat, that's mourning clothing."

Katja's eyes widened, "Mother? What's going on?"

Brynja sat down on the bed with her girls, "Loki lost the crown. He was executed this morning."

Sunny sat in stunned silence as tears flowed down her face. Katja threw herself on her pillow and wailed into it. Brynja sat with them, her own tears returning.

After an hour, Sunny spoke, her tears finally slowing, "Are we going to go back to Asgard now?"

Brynja nodded, "Yes. I have no reason to stay here now. I do not even know if it is safe. We will pack today."

Katja wailed, "But I liked King Loki! I don't want to go back to Father and have to live in the walls!"

Brynja rubbed her back, "I know you did. I was quite fond of him, too."

Sunny watched her mother and heard the catch in her voice, "You were more than just fond of him, Mother." She also knew what she had seen the night before, "If not, he most certainly was quite fond of you."

Brynja went silent for a moment, then thought of a reply, "We won't discuss that until we are safely on the Bifrost and headed for your Grandfather's hall." Sunny nodded.

Someone knocked on the door and Brynja walked over to it, calling through, "Who is it?"

"Bel."

She opened the door a crack, "Are we safe?"

Bel smiled, "You have my word. Not that I thought to harm you before this morning, but I promised Loki you would be welcome guests in Jotunheim so long as I am king."

Brynja opened the door a little father, "Then come in, if you wish."

Bel entered and brought a trunk in with him, "These are the only effects Loki left in the king's quarters. I thought they would be most at home here."

"Thank you," Brynja responded. She thought and then asked, "Was it quick?"

Bel bowed his head, "Yes. King Laufeyson died a noble death asking only two things before the axe fell, neither of which were truly for him. He asked that his body be given to you so his burial wishes could be honoured. He also asked that I hold you and your children as innocents and as my guests. I agreed to both. He did not beg for mercy, he did not dishonour himself."

"Bel, if it would not offend you, I think we ought to leave for my father's halls soon. The girls need rest and time to recover in the arms of their grandmother and I think I am going to need to seek refuge with her as well. Loki was very dear to me. I do not think I can properly grieve for him here."

Bel understood, "I will ready your cart and put my guards at your disposal to help you load your belongings."

She nodded, "Thank you. I will begin as soon as the girls are dressed. Please, do not think I am not grateful for all you and your father have done for us through the years. I am. But I have to take care of my children and myself. And I must bury my dear friend."

As Bel left, he turned back, "You should know one thing- Loki vanished as the axe came to his neck. There is no body to bury." The door clicked shut behind him.

Brynja's face grew pale and she dropped down to the floor.

Katja flopped out of bed, "What the heck does that even mean?"

Sunny was equally stunned, "Did he make himself disappear?"

Brynja shook her head, "His magic won't work in the throne room, nor will mine. If it was not an opening of the Bifrost that retrieved him, there is only one person who might have been able to pull him from that room."

Katja searched her mind for answers, "The Witch?"

Brynja stood up, "No, child. Not the Witch. Freyja." She took her photographs down from the topmost trunk and began packing. The children dressed quickly and she handed them a trunk so they could do the same.


	28. Chapter 28

Loki fell forward in the darkness and caught himself before his face hit the cool stone floor. He felt around for the boundaries of where he was. It was a very small room. Had he fallen any farther forward his head would have hit what felt like a rough wooden door.

He knocked on it, "Hello? Am I dead?"

A voice from the other side replied, "Just a moment, have to reach the end of this row." A moment later, the door opened and he blinked back the brightness cast by thousands of lamps and candles throughout the room, "Sorry, didn't want to lose my place in my knitting. Now, my dear child, let's see what they've done to you."

 


	29. Chapter 29

Packing did not take as long as Brynja anticipated it would. She mixed her belongings with Loki's, not caring if she had to sort them back out again later. She tried not to hope too strongly that he was alive somewhere. Even if Freyja had somehow snatched him from under the axe, there was a distinct possibility she had done so too late and he had arrived in her Witching room dead or dying, his head at least partially severed from his body. She called for the guards who had been sent to assist her and began directing them on how to pack the cart. They followed orders silently. The final trunk to go on the cart was the one that only contained Loki's armor. She had not wanted to pack it, to admit that he was gone, or to remove that reminder of who he was from her sight. If she had no body to bury, she would consider the trunk of armor his coffin. She bundled up the children and put on her own winter cloak, looking around the room one more time before picking up her walking staff and following the guards to the cart.

It was the same cart she had arrived on, carefully stored all these years. The horses, too, were the same long-lived Asgardian horses that had brought her to Jotunheim. She sat up in the driver's seat with one child on either side of her and set out into the cold. The girls huddled close.

When she was a safe distance from the temple, she looked to the sky and called out for Heimdall, "Heimdall, bring us home."

Within moments, she felt the blast of the Bifrost, felt it carry her skyward, and was soon driving the horses along the bridge, watching Asgard grow closer and closer.

Sunny asked her once more, "You were more than just fond of Loki, weren't you?"

Brynja did not take her eyes off the path ahead, or the shining city growing larger as they approached, "Yes, child. I was. I still am. He holds a very sacred place in my heart."

Katja, her arms hugged around her knees, leaned on her mother, "I hope he's not dead."

Brynja sighed, "So do I, darling, but I'm choosing not to think he could be alive... Even if Freyja did make him vanish, and even if he is in her Witching rooms, there is a great likelihood that she got to him too late. Witching is an imprecise skill at such a great distance. And I am still bound to your father."

Both children were silent as Asgard grew closer.

They were met at the gates by Heimdall and Frigga, "Brynja, girls, oh how you've grown in only a short time- too long, though, to stay away for a grandmother," Frigga said as Heimdall helped them down.

He offered his hand to Brynja, who gratefully accepted it, "Lady Brynja. You dress in mourning. I have seen why." Brynja bowed her head and nodded.

Frigga addressed her daughter and slipped a piece of paper in her hands, "Please, move quickly. I will have this delivered to a room large enough for the three of you. The girls and I have much catching up to do."

Brynja read the note- it was directions to a secluded hallway in the palace. She took every shortcut through the walls that she knew. The handwriting was one she knew from years ago: Freyja.

When she arrived at the intersection before the indicated hallway, she met two of Freyja's guards. The women stopped her briefly, then let her pass, blocking the hallway once she was by. There were other guards along the hall creating barriers should anyone get past the first few. Brynja wondered what was going on.

Freyja called to her from somewhere down the hallway, "Keep walking this direction, my dear. You'll find out why you're here soon enough."

Her heart jumped to her throat, "My god, is he alive?" She walked faster past the guards, trying to hold back from running.

As she got closer, the guards thinned and she saw Freyja talking to someone, her body mostly blocking Brynja's view. She caught a brief glimpse of a sage tunic and ran.

Freyja turned and smiled as she saw Brynja break into a run. She stepped out of her way and watched Loki's face light up as he went to meet Brynja. She threw herself into his arms and clung to him.

"Freyja, thank you, thank you, thank you," Brynja said as she ran her hands up Loki's back, "Oh god, you're all here, every inch."

He laughed and reached around to take her hands, "Yes, my Little Witch, every inch." She noticed a bandage along the back of his neck and tried to reach up to it, but he kept her hands in his, "It's only a scratch. Freyja got to me just in time. I'm alive and well. I didn't even bleed on the shirt."

Brynja tugged her hands from his, reached up to cup his face in her hands, and kissed him.

Freyja grinned and bit her lip to keep from saying anything.

When their lips parted, Loki's smile was sad, "I'd say the words, Bryn, but you are married and I have to stand in front of your father to beg for my life. I cannot..."

His voice trailed off as he heard the sound of an approaching garrison. Freyja called to her guards to stand down and they stepped aside, glaring, as Odin's guards marched past them. Brynja was roughly pulled away from Loki and shoved towards Freyja, who caught her.

Freyja grabbed Brynja's chin and forced her to pay attention to only her, "Run to your mother's chamber, seek an audience with Odin. Take every shortcut you know. There is still time, and we will follow him."

Brynja's eyes darted to Loki as the guards shoved him to his knees and manacled his hands behind his back. His eyes met hers and he nodded. She turned and ran, disappearing into the walls faster than Odin's guards could tell where she'd gone.

She tore through the passages in the walls and the hallways between faster than she had ever before. She burst into her mother's chambers, breathless.

"I need a dress. I seek an urgent audience with Father. I will explain later."

Frigga gestured to her gowns and Brynja dashed toward them, casting off her shawls as she went. She knew exactly the dress she needed. It was white, sweeping, and trimmed in gold. She undressed quickly, leaving her mourning dress in a heap on the floor. She tugged the other gown on and arranged it as quickly as she could, gathered up her hair, and pinned it at the back with a fine comb. She then went to her mother's jewellery and found the tiara she wanted. She ran out of the room and disappeared into a passageway directly from her mother's chamber.

A few minutes later, she slowed her walk and stepped out in front of the giant doors to the throne room. With a deep breath, she entered, Loki already in front of her father, guards on either side, his chains tight.

Odin called to her as she walked forward, her head bowed, "Brynja, this is not the time."

She raised her head, "Respectfully, Father, this may be the only time." She stepped around the guards and knelt between Odin on his throne and Loki standing in front of it.

"What are you doing, child?" Odin asked.

"That depends on what you are, Father," she replied.

He sighed, "We have been discussing Loki's future, or lack thereof. He broke the bargain, his execution was the outcome we agreed on."

Brynja, her voice calm and firm, not betraying how her heart was sinking, answered, "Then I offer my life along with his, as I failed to stop him from accepting the throne of Jotunheim and could not come up with a way to leave when we were both threatened should he refuse."

Loki whispered, begging, "Don't make this worse, Bryn. Please..."

Odin rose from his throne, "Don't be ridiculous, girl. That was not part of the agreement."

Brynja did not waver, "Loki did not  _take_  the throne, that was our bargain. He made no aggressions against Halifrey to seize power, it was handed to him. He never kept it secret from me that there was a plot to unseat Halifrey and he would be handed the crown whether he wanted it or not. Saying no to Othik was not only suicide, but would have resulted in my torture and death as well. Loki made no aggressions toward Asgard during his reign. From what I know of the politics of Jotunheim, he likely averted it. And when I was with him in Jotunheim, I did nothing to convince him to flee Othik or that he should deny his birthright as a son of Laufey."

Odin's anger rose, "His birthright was stripped of him when he was left to die."

Brynja did not change her tone, "And yet it was not restored when you rescued him? When you allowed him to return to Jotunheim? When it was openly offered to him by those who brought Halifrey to his knees and stripped him of his crown? His brother was removed from the throne. He took that brother's place. Is that not how our own succession functions? Were Thor to fall, would not the crown be offered to the next son, and in lieu of that, to the Princess of Asgard?"

Odin did not speak for a moment, then responded, "Were one of you to behead Thor, I would think the situation parallel to what happened in Jotunheim and would hope that Asgard would not allow you to take the throne."

Brynja again responded, "That is the way of things here. In Jotunheim, the way of kings is that the king is defeated and beheaded by his successor. Loki followed the custom of his parents, nothing more, nothing less. Is he to be at fault for behaving in the manner customary to Jotunheim? We expect guests in our own land to respect and uphold our customs, both sane and irrational, do we not?"

Odin pounded his staff on the dias, "Enough! What would you propose I do, let him free?"

Brynja shook her head sadly, "While I would love to hear you say those words, I do not hold out hope that I will ever see my dear friend outside of a cell or draped in chains. I only wish that you would take more time, make this decision without haste. Consult Heimdall and ask him what he saw of Loki's reign. Ask Freyja why she brought him here, rather than letting him die at the stroke of Bel's axe. Ask me what part I have played in all this, for I assure you this was not an insurrection led by Loki, nor did he believe he broke our agreement. And ask King Bel himself what he thought of Loki's time in Jotunheim and what he saw of his reign. He escorted us there, he witnessed Loki's ascension to the throne, took the throne back from Loki, and he allowed me to leave in peace. I have held Loki's life in my hands more than once and have always seen something in it worth saving. I hope you see it, too."

Odin nodded curtly, "Very well. I will consider what you have said. You are dismissed."

She turned to Loki and touched his cheek, "I've done what I can; I will not lose you again."

Loki whispered, "I would accept life in a cell if I were allowed visits from you."

Odin watched the interaction, "Brynja, might I remind you of your wedding vows?"

Brynja turned from Loki and replied to her father sharply, "And might I remind you, Father, that those vows were not made by my own choosing? That I did not wish to be married, but was following through on a bargain that was my friend's only chance for redemption?" She turned and walked out of the throne room, her dress sweeping behind her, her head high.

Loki waited until he heard the door close behind Brynja before he spoke to Odin, "I ask you only one thing- if you are going to execute me, do it quickly, for her sake. If you decide against it, please do not have me tortured. I would rather fall to the axe than endure that again- I ask this not only for myself, but for your daughter- she who cares far more deeply for me than I deserve, and she who will know if I am tortured and will be broken by it. You know as well as I do that she will not rest until she sees me safe in a cell or sees me dead by your hand. For her sake, I beg you, end this quickly."

Odin studied Loki's face, looking for any of the confidence and grace that would have accompanied such a statement in years past, his self-assured speech an indication that he knew his request would be granted, even if he had to manipulate a few others to make it happen. All of this was absent. Loki was quiet, his shoulders bent, his voice shaking as he spoke.

Odin nodded, "I will consider both what she has said and your request. Do not expect mercy, though, Loki. You knew when you entered this agreement with me that there was no leniency in my heart for you. It was your last chance."

Loki's heart sank even further, "Yes, sir." Odin called for the guards and Loki braced himself for the worst.


	30. Chapter 30

When Brynja returned to her mother's chambers, she collapsed on a couch, exhausted. Both girls looked to her expecting some kind of an answer.

Katja piped up, "Mother, you're acting really weird. What is going on?"

Sunny added, "Did you find something out that you want to tell us?"

Brynja looked at each of them and sighed, "He's alive. He's alive and Father is deciding if he should execute him or return him to the cell to live until he dies of old age. I had to say my piece." She knew there was one other likely fate for Loki, but she did not want to mention the torture in front of her children, especially knowing that their father had taken part in it. The girls sat in shocked silence.

Frigga asked, "Is your father going to be angry for what you said?"

Brynja dropped her head to her hands, "Oh I have no doubt. I asked him to think about how things are done differently in Jotunheim and to consider that Loki took the throne he was offered, one to which he was the rightful successor...and I told Father that Othik had threatened to torture and kill me as punishment to Loki should he refuse. This was not his decision and Father needs to know that. He needs to talk to King Bel of Jotunheim and I told him as much."

Frigga sat silently; Katja grinned and began singing, "Mother loves Loki, Mother loves Loki."

Sunny glared at her sister, "Stop taunting!"

Katja shot back, "It's true! Mother does. I've seen the way they look at each other- remember when they were dancing? There's no way she doesn't  _and_  that he doesn't love her back!"

Sunny replied, "Doesn't matter if it's true, it's still not nice to sing it like that when he might still die!"

Frigga sat down beside her daughter, "Brynja, is this true? Do you love him?"

Brynja heard trepidation in her mother's voice, "If you're asking because you raised him and you think it's a bit strange, I don't see him as a brother, thanks to Father's insistence that I live in the walls. Since we're not related, I see no difference between he and I and the match of Sif and Thor that Father would so like to see. I think Loki and I were actually raised with more distance between us than Sif and Thor were."

Frigga smiled, "You still haven't answered my question, Brynja."

Brynja sighed, "Yes , Mother. I knew I loved him before I returned to Asgard to be married. Not only did he care for me so gently when Othik gave me the wound that caused the scar on my arm, but both Loki and I nearly died in Jotunheim before I was retrieved. He was attacked while outside of the temple and I used some very advanced Witchery to heal him- I used magic Freyja had told me usually kills both the one being healed and the healer. I was unconscious for a week and when I awoke, Loki was by my side. He'd spent the entire week sleeping next to me so he'd know if I faded away in the night. The days following were playful. He stopped thinking about the offer for the throne and spent the time solely focused on laughter, games, enchantments, and dancing. It was beautiful. During that time, I know I loved him deeply and intensely. Then I was pulled back here. I never had the chance to learn if it was the kind of love that dies after a few years or the kind that lasts for a lifetime. I did not simply forget him because Father married me off."

Frigga inquired further, "And what of his letters? The ones Freyja told me he sent the entire ten years he was king? Did they speak of love?"

Brynja shook her head, "Not directly, but he has made it clear he loves me. The letters spoke of a desperate longing for me to be by his side. In one letter he mentioned that the safety of my arms would be the only comfort that could possibly allow him to sleep at night. Last night, we cried to sleep together- he chose to spend his last moments with me and asked me to accept his affections for our last hours together. At dawn this morning, he kissed me and told me his only regret was not asking me to be his queen when he had the chance, believing it would be the last thing he would ever tell me. In Father's presence, he told me he could accept imprisonment if I were allowed to visit. He won't declare his love, though, so long as I am married to Fandral."

Frigga chose her words carefully, "And given you have had time to think and to sort out your heart and head, what are your thoughts on Fandral?"

"I can't be the wife he wants, I can't be myself with him. He doesn't want strong daughters and that's what my children are. I need my own place to be, the freedom to determine where I go, and the ability to explore. I can do none of this with Fandral as my husband. I do not love him, Mother. I never have, though I have tried to. Once I discovered the part he played in Loki's last imprisonment, it became impossible for me to hold any affections for him."

Frigga tilted her head, "In Loki's imprisonment?"

Brynja nodded, "I suggest you either ask Father or, Fandral better yet, ask Loki himself. Loki told me very little of what happened, but he is deeply scarred by it. I'm not going to go into details in front of the girls, but let's just say it casts my husband in a very poor light."

Frigga nodded, "I understand. Let me see what I can do." She rose and left the room.

Katja watched Frigga leave, "Do you think she can really free us from Father?"

Sunny shook her head, "Poor Loki. I wonder what's going to happen to him? I hope Grandfather thinks twice before executing him...it just wouldn't be right for Freyja to rescue him only for him to be killed."

"Don't hold out hope, girls. I don't want to have to say goodbye again, but I fear it is coming," Brynja said.

Loki was escorted back to his cell, long since cleared of furniture, after being whipped. He believed he would have been lashed longer had Freyja's guards not stepped from the shadows only a few minutes in. They had stared at his captors intently, but without speaking. Even through the pain, it was an unnerving experience. They had hurried him back to his cell, attempting to escape the watchful eyes of the warrior women. Loki's chains removed, he sat down against the wall to recover from the ordeal and stared out of the barrier. It was no longer clear from his side. He had seen into it upon approach, but he could not see out it. He knew this was to prevent Brynja's visits. He sat with his head in his hands, wondering why he was rescued if only to face execution a second time and dreading what would happen if Odin decided to instead keep him in the cell.

Freyja, true to her word, had followed Odin's guards even to the cell. Her own guards stood watch as she approached Loki's cell.

"Loki, can you hear me in there?" Loki looked up and nodded, "Good. I'm working on this, child. Do not despair. I did not pull you from Jotunheim only to hand you over to Odin. I've offered to host you in my hall in Asgard or in Vanaheim if he does not want to let you live here, but his reception to the idea was cool."

He looked to the ceiling, "Why  _did_  you bring me here, then? How did you not know this would be my fate were Odin to learn I was here?"

She sighed, "I was hoping to smuggle you to Vanaheim before he found you, but I did not think it fair to Brynja to let her mourn you longer. Bringing you to this hall was a mistake and one I claim. I will do everything in my power to correct my error."

"I hope you can. Otherwise I am dead. You ought to have just left me."

Freyja stood tall, her head high, "Loki Laufeyson, if you think I will not succede, you have no idea who you are speaking to. No one, not even the Allfather, can break my will." She gestured to her guards and they followed her out.

Frigga entered as Freyja was leaving, "Hello, Loki."

Loki sighed, "Hello, Mother."

She smiled as she watched him through the barrier, "There was a time when I visited you here that you denied me that title to spite the man who raised you."

He tried to pinpoint where she was through the barrier by listening for her voice, "I wish I could see you, but the barrier is dark from my side. I once thought otherwise, but I was a fool to think you meant nothing to me. Your death taught me that."

"And Odin?" she asked.

He stared at his hands, "I cannot claim him as my father. He holds my life in his hands. He has allowed terrible things to be done to me. I have chosen to be Laufey's son, rather than Odin's.

"Brynja has suggested that there was something that both Odin and Fandral did to you before you were put in this cell last time that would have pushed you farther from Asgard."

Loki did not move as he spoke, his voice distant, "Odin handed me to Fandral and his friends so they could punish me as they saw fit before my confinement began. Volstagg did what he felt necessary. Sif took vengeance. Fandral laughed and taunted as he caused excrutiating pain and humiliation. Only Hogun saw that the others had done enough and stayed his hand. He also tried to tell Fandral to limit himself, and though he failed to convince, his words were not meaningless. I have difficulty believing that the torture I endured was not expected by Odin. He did not order it and so he could wash his hands of it. But he did nothing to prevent it, well knowing what would happen to me. I cannot simply ignore Odin's complicity in that horror which still haunts my sleep."

"And you insist that I am your mother, yet Odin and I are not seperable," she replied.

"I don't care right now. I don't love him. I don't want to be claimed as an Odinson. But my hatred has subsided a little. This does not mean I can think of him as family, or that I ever will," he answered. He then realised he was still wearing the ring Brynja had given him, "I was given this by your daughter. You chose to treat me as your son, you chose to teach me your arts. For that, I am eternally grateful. For what you have done for me, you are my family. I cannot say the same for Odin."

Frigga watched him as he turned the ring on his finger, "I spoke to Odin this morning. He will be visiting here after he has spoken to Heimdall about your reign and after travelling to Jotunheim this evening to speak to King Bel."

Loki changed the subject, "How is Brynja faring? Are her children doing well? This has been an emotionally trying day for them."

"They are all exhausted. The children were looking to sleep early this evening and Brynja was also starting to fade when I left them. I hope she wakes while Odin is in Jotunheim. I would like to bring her to speak to you," she answered.

He smiled a little, "I would like that very much."

Frigga decided that asking directly was her best course of action, "Do you love her?"

Loki's smile was soft as he looked at the ring, "Bel once told me that I should ask her to be my mate. I spent what I thought were my last few hours with her and it broke my heart, not for my own death, but because I was leaving her in mourning. I will not say the words, though...not so long as she is still bound to Fandral, but I regret not having offered myself to her before she was called back here. She is precious to me, I will not deny that."

Frigga nodded, "I will try to bring Brynja to you this evening. Be careful what you say to her, though- I do not know what ears Fandral has in the guard."

He shrugged, "I don't really see how anyhthing I say is going to make things much worse. I'll likely be executed soon and it won't make a difference."

She sighed, "Then be careful for Brynja's sake. Others are not immune to the effects of your actions."

Loki nodded, but did not say anything in response. Frigga left to talk to Fandral.

Fandral was none too happy to discover that Frigga's visit was to focus on Brynja, "Respectfully, I'm not sure why this is your business. This is between Brynja and I. She is my wife, not yours."

"But she is my daughter and your children my grandchildren. And as queen and as the one who watches over the affairs of women in this realm, how she is treated and her happiness  _are_  my business. You hid things from her, you restricted her to her home, you threatened something you knew would make her miserable, and you hit her,  _my_  child. None of these pleases me," she responded.

He brushed off her concerns, "Many men hide things from their wives, ask them to mind the home, do things to make them miserable, and hit them when they are insolent. This is not unusual, nor is it something that is unacceptable in this realm."

Frigga shook her head, "It ought to be. You may want to keep her, but she is unwilling to return. She will not let her daughters feel as though they should be ashamed of the boldness of the women of this realm and that is what she believes you have done. And while other men may do such things, I expect better from the men so close to the future king of Asgard. And I expect much better from my only daughter's husband."

Fandral bowed his head, "I'm sorry I have disappointed you, my Queen. I will seek to do better in the future."

She did not believe him, "Fandral, I know your nature, I have watched you grow up. I know you seek to posess others or break them to your will through your charms or in other ways. I ask you one simple question and I expect you to answer it for yourself. Do you love Brynja, or is she a trophy you have won, a sign of approval from your King?" With that, she left.

Fandral watched her leave and knew what his answer was to her question- he knew it was not one she would like. He also knew that with Odin away from the city this evening, Frigga would temporarily take the throne and have the power to make decisions over all of Asgard's citizens, Brynja and he included. He called for one of his guards and asked for increased notice of anything unusual happening in the palace.

That evening, he received the message he'd been waiting for.

That evening, Frigga brought Brynja to the dungeons, an entire garrison of guards surrounding the cell. Loki looked out towards the footsteps, not sure what was happening.

Brynja called to him, "Loki, are you alright?"

He nodded, "Yes, but I can't see you. They've blackened the barrier from this side. Who else is with you?"

She replied, "Mother and some guards. Come sit and I'll sit next to you; I can see you just fine." Loki did as she asked and she rested on the ledge beside him, "At least Father listened to something I said; he's gone to visit Bel."

Loki sighed, "Well at least there's some hope I'll survive this if Bel speaks kindly of me. At least until Fandral decides to torture and kill me for speaking to you."

"If he harms you, he'll be reckoning with the Witch, not just the woman he married," she replied.

He smiled ruefully, "I know my death will be well avenged, at the least."

Frigga watched the interaction and then ordered the barrier dropped, curious what both Loki and Brynja would do if given the chance to see and touch one another. She needed to watch their interactions to gauge if Loki's proclamations of affection for her daughter were real. Loki was surprised when he could suddenly see Brynja and she reached through to touch his shoulder. He stood up and offered her his hand.

She stepped up into the cell, "As if this place wasn't bleak enough last time...no furniture makes it a lot worse," she smiled, "Let's make this better, shall we? At least for this moment?" She waved one hand around at the walls and a glamour spread from one corner around the room, the walls now draped in heavy silks, brocades, and woven tapestries, all deep, rich shades of red and gold. The openings to the cell framed in heavy velvet curtains tied back with gold cords, the edges of the curtains embroidered with leaves and vines.

Loki turned to look at what she had created, "My, my...Little Witch, I see I am not the only one who has mastered this art of illusion."

Music drifted on the air, the source unseen, "Shall we dance?" Brynja asked, taking up her skirts in one hand and offering him her other. He slipped his hand around her waist and took her offered hand, slowly moving with her around the cell.

"Bryn, you're absolutely angelic...or stunning...or possibly ravishing. I'm not sure which word is best," he whispered.

She laughed and whispered back, "I've never been described as both angelic and ravishing in the same sentence before."

He smiled broadly, "You've befuddled me, my dear."

She noticed him wince as he tried to spin her, "Loki, what's wrong?"

He attempted to brush aside his pain, "Nothing. Just a little stiff."

Brynja needled him, "For the Lord of Lies, that's a pretty shitty cover."

Loki sighed, "A very short whipping, that's what. It's nothing, though- I've been through so much worse. Please, don't let that dampen the joy I can find in this cell so long as you are with me."

She kissed his cheek, "I will do my best. But don't push yourself. Dancing slowly and simply is beautiful, too."

His smile returned, "Then that is what we shall do, my dearest Brynja."

She moved just a little closer as they danced, knowing that it brought her close enough to kiss him and not caring that her mother was standing outside the cell, watching, "I never expected to pick up right where we left off, Loki...and yet in a few short weeks, I think we have. A decade made no difference, did it?"

Meanwhile, Fandral approached the cell. The guards stepped aside as he came to observe the couple dancing. Frigga watched him intently, wondering if she should bring down the barrier to keep Brynja and Loki safe. Neither of the dancers were paying any attention to what was happening outside the cell. They were dancing close, laughing quietly, but being very careful not to kiss, something both of them wanted very much to do. Fandral watched, his anger rising as he did.

Brynja whispered to Loki, "I wish this were not happening in a cell."

"I know, Bryn. I just wish we had more time. I believe there is so much left for us to do together," he said softly. She stopped dancing and dropped her skirts, leaning in to hold him, her head resting on his shoulder. He returned the embrace. Neither spoke.

Fandral had seen enough and jumped into the cell; he pulled the pair apart and punched Loki in the face, "Keep your hands off my wife, Traitor!" he growled. As Loki stumbled back, Fandral advanced and hit him again, "Some man you are, fight back!" Loki merely held up his hands in defense and tried to avoid the blows as he retreated, terrified, to the corner.

Brynja rushed forward, "Knock this shit off, Fandral!" Fandral backhanded her and sent her reeling. She staggered and fell out of the open side of the cell, caught by the guards before she hit the floor.

Frigga stepped into the cell, "Fandral, I order you to stop this!" He did not, his rage too great to hear anything.

Brynja's anger was equal to his, "I SAID KNOCK THIS SHIT OFF!" she yelled, and a blast of energy shot him backwards from Loki, sending him flying across the cell and into the corner pillar. A light blue shield enveloped Loki as he dizzily pulled himself up to sit against a wall, Frigga rushing to his side. Brynja hiked up her skirts and stepped into the cell. She glanced to Loki and saw that Frigga was taking care of him, so she went to her husband as he stood up, "That's the second time you've hit me."

"Well you were dancing with...with  _that_!" Fandral spat.

"And I suppose instead of asking why, or for me to stop, pummeling the shit out of him is an appropriate response," Brynja shot back, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

As she turned to go to Loki, Fandral grabbed her arm, "Oh no, you're coming with me,  _wife_."

She whipped back to him, her arm still in his grasp, "I wouldn't do this if I were you."

He smiled, cocky, "Oh, and what are you going to do? He's the sorcerer, not you."

Her returned grin was wicked, every ounce of spite surfacing from the years they had been together, and the hatred she felt for him knowing that he had caused some of the horrific scars crossing Loki's body, "You have no idea, Fandral. No. Idea. And you will let go of me, lest you learn."

Loki whispered to Frigga, both still sitting as Loki tried to recover his bearings, "This could get very messy."

Frigga called to Brynja, "Please don't kill him, child, I don't want to have to explain that to Thor or Odin."

Fandral did not let go of Brynja's arm, "So what  _are_  you going to do, stare me to death?"

Brynja's skin began to glimmer, "Oh no, but you might want to let go before you have to. I know what you did to him. I've seen the scars. Which one of you decided evisceration was a fair part of the game?"

"Oh look, you're glowing, how pretty!" he taunted, ignoring most of what she had said. He didn't feel her skin start to warm up until just seconds before the crackle of thousands of tiny bolts of lightning enveloped her and he was thrown backwards into the column again.

"Touch me again and it will be much, much worse. Touch him again and you will discover the wrath of the Witch- you're lucky I don't set her on you right now," Brynja said. She turned and went to crouch down next to Loki, "How badly did he hurt you?"

Loki shook his head, "I'll be fine, Bryn. Don't worry. He's done far worse to me."

She touched his swelling cheek, the tingle of residual electricity tickling his skin, "That doesn't make it right, Loki. And I'm not feeling very forgiving at the moment."

Frigga rose and walked over to Fandral, who was just pulling himself back to his feet, "I will be discussing this with Odin when he returns. Until you are summoned, you are not to speak to or see my daughter. Given her threats, I would not touch Loki if I were you. And you will answer the question I left you with when you stand before your king." She turned to the guards, "Remove him, please, from this cell, and keep him away from here...these are the orders of your queen and I expect you will follow them." The guards moved to escort Fandral from the cell, but he brushed off their assistance and left, glaring back at Loki and Brynja once as he did, his muscles still twitching from the electricity she had forced through them.

Frigga turned back to the pair, Brynja insisting to Loki that she should take a look at where the lash had struck him and Loki trying to reassure her that he would be fine, especially compared to the last time he found himself spending his first night in the cell, "Brynja, I think you should come with me. I will send one of our healers down to ease your mind. We will speak to your father when he returns," Frigga said.

Brynja kissed Loki's forehead and squeezed his hand, "I'll be back in the morning." She rose and left with her mother, the barrier replacing itself after them. Brynja glanced back over her shoulder as she left, somewhat relieved to see him slowly standing.

Frigga called to her, "Brynja, keep moving please. Loki will be fine," she smiled, "It's Fandral one ought to be worried about. Just wait until your father hears about what he did to you."

Brynja caught up to her mother, "Father isn't who Fandral ought to be afraid of. If he so much as blinks in the wrong direction, he'll be dealing with the Witch...and he has no idea what she is capable of."


	31. Chapter 31

Odin returned late that night to find his wife not yet in bed, lights on in her chambers. He knocked and discovered his daughter and granddaughters sitting on the couch, three of the four of them awake. Katja had fallen asleep on her grandmother's shoulder.

Sunny was in the middle of a sentence when Odin arrived, "-but he hit you again. So Father's officially no longer on my happy list."

Odin sat down in the large armchair across from the couch, "Care to explain just why you are all still awake at this hour?"

Brynja sighed, "I'm not even sure I want to talk about it, Father. You'll just be angry."

Odin turned to Frigga, "And will you tell the story, my Queen?"

Frigga stroked Katja's hair, "I took Brynja to visit Loki after talking to both she and Fandral today. Brynja enchanted the room- it was a beautiful space- and she danced with him while they talked. They were close, and I thought it quite sweet to watch. I couldn't hear most of what was said. They were happy. Fandral entered, watched them dance for a few minutes, but when they stopped and held one another, he entered the cell, flung Brynja away, and began to beat Loki viciously. Brynja tried to intervene, but he hit her and she fell from the cell while he continued. She stopped him the only way she had left- an advanced shielding magic that first flung Fandral across the cell and then protected Loki from any further attack. I haven't seen that technique in years. It is Freyja's work. Brynja did attempt to talk to Fandral, but when she went to check on Loki, Fandral grabbed her very hard and refused to let her go, so she used magic I have never seen before to drive him back; it flung him across the cell." Frigga paused before continuing, "Your daughter is not in love with her husband and he has now twice struck her. I do not see this as a healthy relationship nor as a salvageable one."

Sunny spoke pointedly to her grandfather, "With all respect, Grandfather, I don't like Father. He's been mean to Mother, he won't let Katja dream of being like Sif, and he yells. He also doesn't think Loki can ever change, but Loki's been very nice to us. He made us laugh, he helped us learn about Jotunheim, and the last thing he asked Bel was that Bel take care of us and make sure we were still treated like guests, which was pretty selfless, too."

Odin responded, "I have spoken to Bel this night and he spoke very highly of Loki, not only a fair king, but as a decent man. I will admit this surprised me, given that Loki did execute both Bel's father and grandfather, but I suppose Brynja, you were right- that is the way of things in Jotunheim. Loki did only what was expected of him. Bel also told me that a Jotun named Othik had been orchestrating a rebellion against Halifrey for years and used Loki as his opportune moment. Loki has caused no harm in Jotunheim and Bel considered him a worthy opponent and was honoured to have wielded the axe against him. He also knows Loki is not dead, though he is maintaining the illusion for his subjects. He told me Loki's two final requests as well. I cannot believe this, but it appears that something noble has emerged in our wayward prince."

Brynja smiled a little, "Loki and I made a bargain just between us as well and has held true to it. He promised no lies, no trickery, and no deception. I knew of Othik's recruitment as soon as Loki was offered the crown and he told me of Othik's threat to torture me to death in front of Loki before killing him, should he try to stop the rebellion. I have seen his anger, his pain, and his tender kindness. He knew I would be saddened by his acceptance of the crown, even knowing of Othik's threats, but he also knew what would happen if he declined. He wanted to keep me safe, Father, and he has done his best to do so. He has always kept his word to me, even when he knew I would push against his decision. I cannot say the same for my husband."

Odin looked to Frigga, "What should we do about Fandral? He is the children's father, yet given what you have seen and what Brynja has told me, I cannot force these two together any longer."

Frigga replied, "I asked him a single question earlier today and he will answer it when he stands before you- does he love our daughter, or is she merely a trophy, a token of approval from his king? His response will guide your decision."

Odin nodded, "First thing in the morning, I will summon him. Tonight, though, we all need to sleep. It has been a very long day...and for you, my darling daughter, a very emotional one. Take rest. I have not yet made my decision about Loki, but tomorrow we will talk again. We will also get you and the girls settled into your own rooms."

Brynja sighed and hugged Sunny as Frigga and Odin went to their bed chamber, "Things will work out, my love. I don't know how, but your grandmother doesn't want to see any of us cry again. She will do her best."

Sunny tried to smile, "I know, Mother, I just hope Grandfather listens."

Very early the next morning, as the grey light was just starting to filter over the horizon, Fandral was summoned to Odin's throne room. He approached the throne humbly, knowing full well that this was not going to be a pleasant discussion. Frigga stood beside Odin on the top of the dias.

Odin spoke first, "Before we discuss this, I believe you have an answer for your Queen."

Fandral nodded, "Your Majesty, I do not know. I believed at one time that I loved her, but I do not know whether it was love of her or love of her proximity to the crown or love of her as Thor's sister, long sought and finally won. I will admit that I do not truly know her, even after all these years."

Odin sat stone still, no reaction on his face, "And why did you hide her letters?"

"Because I have always believed Loki to be a lying, manipulative, dangerous fool. I did not want him writing to her nor her to think of him kindly. He has been playing with her emotions; I saw proof enough of that last night," he replied.

Frigga wanted to speak badly, but she let Odin continue his inquiry without her interruption, "And did you ever consider," Odin asked calmly, "that perhaps their friendship was genuine? That she had been visiting his cell for a significant period before his release? That she agreed to tie her freedom to his to give him a chance he did not deserve? That, perhaps, Loki did not trick his way onto the throne, rather accepted it under great pressure to protect the person he held most dear?"

Fandral could not help but scoff at the suggestion, "Loki is a trickster by nature. He could not take a throne honestly if he tried, nor could he resist fooling an easily manipulated girl."

Odin continued, again with no reaction, "Then I suggest you discuss this matter with Bel, now king of Jotunheim. He has a high opinion of Loki, something I did not expect. His assessment of Loki's rule is that it was a fair one that avoided war when it seemed inevitable. He also spoke highly of the relationship between Loki and Brynja, having witnessed an incredible amount of dedication between the two, both when Othik caused the damage to her arm and when she nearly died healing Loki after he was mortally wounded. Apparently Loki spent an entire week at her bedside hoping for her recovery, keeping vigil. This is not a side of him I expected, either, but his feelings for her seem quite real."

Fandral shook his head in disbelief, "Can't you see, Allfather, that this is all a ruse? That he played her from the beginning to get free of his cell, to take the throne of Jotunheim, and to escape from there when times were difficult? You cannot claim she did not have something to do with that as well. She had to have found a way to smuggle him back here. How else would he have done it? Besides, it isn't like she has had much experience with men, she would be easily fooled."

Odin did react to this, an eyebrow raised as he leaned forward on the throne, "Fandral, do you know nothing of your own wife's history? She has left this world many time to seek companionship in other realms, sometimes romantic in nature. While I did not always approve of her disappearances to Midgard, her friendships and lovers there were very real and she is not as easily led as you believe. She is a strong woman. She has watched a lover die in her arms and carried out the burial rites for that person. She has traveled Midgard on her own, seen the ways that men of power start wars by manipulating and terrorizing the populace, and has seen the prosperity of times of peace as well as the cruelty of poverty. Her experiences in Midgard have prepared her well for all that life here can throw at her, including being able to spot what is a lie and what is truth."

Frigga finally spoke, "And while your wife is an extremely accomplished sorceress, it was not she who rescued Loki from the fall of Bel's axe, but Freyja."

Fandral threw up his hands, "She never told me she was a sorceress, either- I found that out last night. What else did she hide from me?"

Frigga replied, "It is not the job of a witch to reveal her secrets, it is the job of her lover to earn her trust so that she may share her gift."

Odin added, "Indeed, my Queen...and I expected, Fandral, that you would have to do no less than I did to earn the trust of my wife. Women such as these do not share their gifts easily as they do not want their secrets shared. If Brynja did not trust you enough to show you what she can do, I cannot help but think there was something that did not make her feel comfortable sharing."

Deciding that there was no way to win this discussion, Fandral turned his attention to the issue of Loki, "So why did Freyja pull him from Jotunheim? His head should have been severed from his body long ago, what did he do that she thought him worthy?"

Odin answered, "Freyja's answer to that was as simple as it could be- she could not bear to see the relationship she had been watching from afar come to such an abrupt end. Apparently she has been visiting Heimdall every morning for years to keep watch over both Loki and Brynja."

Fandral sighed, "I do not understand how she can care for him."

"Nor do I," Odin responded, "but it is not my place to understand it, especially given that I hardly know him myself. I know the Loki that was, not the Loki that is, and both time and brutality change us all- one of the two of those being your contribution, according to my dear queen. Even you, Fandral, have changed. You have struck my daughter twice. This does not speak well of your ability to handle such a strong wife. You have threatened to make the same mistake I made, secluding your own daughters in the walls when they become too strong for you to handle. Because of this, I ask you one question and one question alone. Is Brynja the right match for you, or should I end what I began and let you both begin anew?"

Fandral stood silent, thinking, before he replied, "I believe it would be best for the both of us if you let us part ways. I do not like saying this. It is a great loss, but I do not entirely know why, as I feel like I hardly know Brynja. But I do not think she has ever loved me, and I am starting to believe that I may not love her. I feel very little connection to my children, though I would like to try to understand them better. Perhaps in time, I may grow to love them as my own."

Odin thudded his staff on the dias, "Then let it be known that from her forward, both you and Brynja are free to part ways and seek mates better suited for yourselves. You are dismissed." After Fandral left, Odin turned to Frigga, "Please go tell Brynja her presence is requested."

Frigga nodded and went to find her daughter.

Brynja had just finished dressing in a series of lavendar layers when her mother entered, the girls both still sleeping, "Good morning, Mother. You have good timing- a few minutes ago I was naked."

Frigga smiled, "Well it is you who have good timing, then, to be dressed so early in the morning. Your father wishes for you to come see him. He has spoken to Fandral. You both are free."

Brynja dropped the earring she was trying to get through the lowest set of holes in her earlobe, "What? It's over?"

"Yes, it's over. But I do not think that is the only thing he wants to discuss with you."

Brynja picked up the earring and quickly shoved it in the hole, the other already in place, "Lead on, then. I only hope whatever he wishes to tell me isn't something that will dampen the mood of this morning's news."

When Bryja entered the throne room, she was led in through a small door close to the throne that only her mother was usually permitted to use; she bowed to her father, but he waved his hand to dismiss the gesture, "Brynja, I did not ask you here as a king to his subject, but as a father to his daughter. I assume your mother has told you that you are free from your husband?" Brynja nodded, "Then I ask you this- what would make you most happy at this very moment?"

She did not hesitate to answer, "The knowledge that Loki was going to be allowed to live and will not be tortured, as well as a promise that I might someday be able to hold him freely without chains or guards."

Odin sighed, "This is what I suspected. I am not ready to forgive Loki for all he has done to this realm and to others. He did not, however, break his bargain- you are right, Bel's word proves this well. For these years, Loki has been a man of honour, against all of my expectations. I do not know what role his feelings for you have played in it, but I believe that the companionship of someone as bold and yet as trusting as yourself may have been key. I will give you both a chance to prove this true. Loki's freedom will be provisional- should he strike out against this or any other realm, or should he plan to do so, I will take him back into the dungeons and we will determine what to do with him based on the degree of his transgression. I do expect that you will tell me, though, if his plans seem dangerous."

Brynja threw her arms around her father, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

He smiled and held her, "I hope you can forgive me for asking for your freedom in our previous bargain."

Brynja nodded, "Yes. I may have resented you for it, but I have two beautiful daughters because of it and I can resent nothing that has brought me such joy."

Odin tilted his head, curious, "My child, you said yesterday that you had held Loki's life in your hands more than once. I know about his near-death on the plain, but do you care to tell me when else his life hung in the balance?"

Her face became a little more serious as she thought back to Loki's suicide attempt, "Loki was ready to plunge his dagger into his heart not long after we arrived in Jotunheim. He'd tried to push me out of his life, he'd stopped speaking to me and rarely ate. I interrupted him and didn't mention what I knew he was going to do. I just sat with him, apologised for expecting too much of him too quickly, and made plans for the next day. I knew that saying something would make it worse and just being with him was the only chance I had to change his mind. The next morning, he told me it was the idea of my grief that stopped him. He struggled deeply for over a year, Father. He hated his Jotun self, he hated his Asgardian self...he just wanted to be something he wouldn't despise. The torture he endured at the hands of your warriors killed any self-love he may have had. I had to help him rebuild, to find that someone he could be. I think he may have finally found it."

Odin replied, "Given what Bel has told me he has seen of the two of you and of his reign in Jotunheim, you may be right. Loki has felt betrayed by us for so long that only finding family will bring him any sense of peace. That being said, Fandral has requested to some day get to know his children, I ask that you do allow this, though I understand if now is not the time."

Brynja stepped back as her father rose from the throne, "Of course, Father, but I will be letting my girls lead on that. Sunny will probably come to terms with things more quickly- Katja holds onto pain the same way Loki does. I only hope she learns how to let go more quickly than he did." She walked alongside Odin as he descended from the dias, "May I tell Loki the news, or are you going to tell him?"

Odin thought and then replied, "Let us go together, the three of us. I would like to give him the news myself."


	32. Chapter 32

Loki was very uncomfortable after having spent the night sleeping on the floor of the cell, though not sleeping very well. He still could not see out the barrier. He heard guards coming down the stairs and positioning themselves nearby. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, wondering if the sounds were indicative of his impending death.

The barrier disappeared and he saw Odin, Brynja and Frigga on either side of him. Both were smiling and he figured that probably meant he wasn't going to die yet, "So have you decided my fate yet, Allfather?"

Odin nodded, "Yes, actually, I have...at least for the present. Your freedom will be provisional. So long as you do not begin to act against this realm or any other, you will be allowed to live freely here. Bel's testimonly convinced me that you have been, against all my expectations, an honourable man since you left this city for Jotunheim. As you live here, Brynja will, though, be listening for acts of treason. She has agreed to help intervene if it seems as though you are planning an uprising or takeover. Other than this, however, there are no conditions on your release, though you may find yourself heavily watched. I do not yet trust you. I do not yet know who you have become. Prove you are worthy and I will watch less closely. If there is something in you that makes my only daughter find your life worth saving, I am willing to trust her to find out just what that is."

Loki stood, "This is real, isn't it?" He stepped down in front of Odin and dropped to a knee, "Thank you, Allfather."

Odin extended his hand and helped Loki stand, "I only hope you will give me the chance to get to know the Loki Bel speaks so highly of instead of the Loki who stole my throne."

Loki nodded and shook his hand as Frigga stepped forward and embraced him, "My wayward son."

"Thank you, Mother, for whatever role you have played in this."

Frigga nodded and stepped aside, allowing Brynja to step into his arms, "Loki, my darling..." Her words trailed off.

He sighed, "Bryn, you know I... You're..."

"No, not anymore. Father released Fandral and I from our marriage. I'm free," she said. Loki held her even more tightly, nuzzling his face to her hair, unable to respond in any other way.

Frigga gently interrupted, "Now, let's show you to your chambers, shall we? I've picked a room I think you will both like."

Loki released Brynja as they followed Frigga from the dungeon. Both were smiling as they walked through the halls, stealing glances while holding hands, a vast contrast to the anxiety that had accompanied their previous walk over a decade prior. As before, people stared. Brynja the princess, Loki the traitor, hand in hand, following the queen through the halls.

They turned down one of the outer hallways and Brynja smiled, "I've always loved this side of the palace- the rooms are glorious, the light in them bright every morning, moonrise just outside the windows at night."

Frigga stopped at one of the doors and opened it, "Then you will be quite pleased with the room I have chosen."

They followed her in and Brynja gasped in wonder, the smile never leaving Loki's face. The walls were draped in red and gold silks, brocades, and tapestries just as her illusion had been in Loki's cell. There were two adjoining rooms, one of them a large bathroom, the walls tiled in yellow and orange, fabric draping the walls farthest from water. The second room was draped in greens and blues trimmed in silver, a small bathroom in one corner and its own entryway beside the bathroom. Across from the entrance into the main room was a wall of tall arched windows, steps leading up to them and a large balcony outside. The sun streaming into the rooms made the gold and silver in the fabrics glow and shimmer. Their belongings from Jotunheim had already been stacked along one wall.

Frigga watched in delight as they explored the room and slipped out before they noticed she was missing. She returned to her granddaughters, still asleep, waiting for them to awaken so she could show them their new home.

Loki climbed the stairs to the windows and laid down, basking in the sunlight. Brynja stretched out beside him. He turned to her and placed his hand on her hip. She happily kissed his cheek, giggling. He kissed her lips and slid his hand along her back, pulling her close, both enjoying the warmth of the sun on their skin as they also enjoyed the warmth of one another.

It was not long before a knock came at the door and a voice announced, "Loki Laufeyson, your presence is requested at breakfast with the Allfather."

He kissed Brynja's forehead, "Wish me luck, my love."

Brynja watched him leave with a smile on her face. She stretched out in the sun and began to dream about just where to place the furniture. As she sat up, her very long hair tumbled into her face and she tugged it out of the way in annoyance. Then she realised that she had only kept it long for Fandral. She remembered that Loki had never said he hated her hair one way or another, so she went to her luggage and found her scissors. In a few snips, her hair was short enough that it no longer brushed her chin. She found a hand mirror and smiled, finally able to tame it back with only a few hair pins and happy to once agan to be able to see all the jewels in her ears.

Loki arrived in the throne room to find that Odin was seated at a small breakfast table along the windows, plates of steaming food being placed in front of both his seat and a vacant one.

Odin gestured to the empty seat, "Please, sit, Loki. We have much to discuss." Loki hesitated before stepping forward, "There's no need to be wary; I do not think this discussion will be painful."

Loki did as he was asked, "I cannot envision a situation in which this is not an awkward conversation."

Odin chuckled, "I did not say the conversation would be comfortable, merely that it wouldn't be painful. Please, eat. You must be quite hungry." Loki tucked into the plate in front of him, realising that he had not eaten since the supper before his scheduled execution in Jotunheim. Odin did the same, watching Loki try to be careful to still mind the formality of dining in front of the king while obviously famished.

As they finished eating, Loki spoke, "I have not tasted food like this in many years. I have forgotten so much."

Odin laughed, "Well you have as much time as you allow yourself to get used to it again. Even though you have fallen from grace, your beloved is still my daughter and you will dine with her at our feasts." He paused as Loki looked out over the city, his eyes momentarily closed, "I suppose I should ask the most uncomfortable question first and get it out of our way. You do love my daughter, do you not?"

Loki broke his attention from the morning light, "With my entire soul, yes. Having never been at this place before, I have nothing to compare the feeling to, but I cannot help but believe that this is love."

Odin nodded, "Fair enough. Are your intentions with her honourable? She is not merely a toy or trophy, a ploy to regain entrance to Asgard?"

Loki shook his head, "I promised her no lies, no trickery, no deception. While I have not said the words to her, she knows what I show to her is the truth of my emotions."

"And you have never broken that promise?" Odin asked.

"No, I have not. I have told her everything. Things are very different now than they were years ago. I trusted no one once and expected no one to trust me, nor did I love anyone, including myself. She has gifted me her trust and her friendship. I have held those gifts close to my heart and she has seen through my illusions and embraced me, scars and all- and as you ought to know, I have many scars," Loki replied, his gaze once again distant, his face turned to the sun.

"What is it, Loki, that you find so fascinating that it keeps turning your sight outward?" Odin inquired.

Loki let a small smile creep across his lips, "It is the kiss of the sun, Allfather. I did not feel it for fifteen long years imprisoned, then only for a brief moment before over a decade in Jotunheim where the storms are wild, but the nights once in a while clear. Today is the first day I have felt this warmth for more than a few minutes in over twenty-five years."

Odin sat in silence, Loki's words sinking in, before continuing the conversation, "A mere blink of an eye in the span of our lives, yet far too long if deprived of something so simple. How do those of Jotunheim live without the sun?"

Loki shrugged, "They cannot miss what they have never seen."

"And you? What was it you most missed about this place?"

"The light, though light is not unique to this realm. When Bryn was taken from Jotunheim and returned here, her. Her kindness, her conversation, her warmth. She is a light, Allfather, no matter what realm she is in. She was a light when I was kept in the dungeon, she was a light in the darkness of Jotunheim, and she was a light in my soul when I had lost all other hope. Not hearing from her for a decade was devastating. Even worse was saying goodbye only yesterday morning. I have never felt such loss and yet I have expected death before," Loki answered.

Odin studied Loki's face as he spoke, "Your affection for my daughter is clear. Has she given you assurances that she feels the same way?"

"In her behaviour, yes. In words, not clearly. Her kiss as Freyja brought me through these halls, her offer of self-sacrifice before your throne, her gift of illusion in the cell...and the mere fact that she was willing to die to save my life in Jotunheim...these acts are what I have found my hope in," Loki answered. He then drew the little leather pocket out from under his shirt and unfolded the fragile letter kept within, "And this letter. I found it not long ago, many years after she wrote it, but it is precious to me still." He handed Odin the letter and waited for his reaction.

Odin read and handed the letter back to Loki, "She wrote this when?"

"Only a few days before I accepted the throne," he answered, "She tucked it between her books and once she was gone, I did not enter her room for many years. When I finally did, I read her books, and on the day she first wrote back, I found this letter- right after her other arrived on the wind."

"And since then she has shown her devotion in these other ways you have mentioned."

Loki nodded, "Yes, but I think what she did for me just before she wrote this was when I realised that she was truly someone I could not fathom living without. The second time she held my life in her hands and chose to fight for it at great risk to her own."

Odin urged him to continue, "Freyja mentioned that moment as one of Brynja's finest. Please, tell me your memory of it."

Loki sighed, "I don't like remembering what led up to it. We had an argument- I said some terribly unkind things to her and left to take a walk outside the temple. While walking, I encountered a Jotun who insisted I leave. I offered to return to the temple, but that was not what he meant and he struck quickly, catching me off guard. I fought back, but without my sorcery- I did not want to jeopardise our stay in Jotunheim and I did not know who this Jotun was. I knew that use of magic could destroy the plans Othik had so carefully laid and he had threatened to torture Brynja to death in front of me before killing me were I to do anything that would stop the rebellion. So I did what I could, but my staff was no match for his size and strength and he dealt a blow that ought to have killed me, lifting me skyward on his blade and throwing me aside as I bled heavily. Others nearby began to throw rocks and ice. A force pushed them back and created a barrier around me as I lay on the frozen ground, bleeding, and hoped death would come quickly. I learned later that Bryn kept me alive as Bel sent his men for me. I do not remember anything between the ice and when I awoke the next day. Halifrey had kept watch through the night. He told me that Bryn had performed magic that was likely to kill her and to leave me dead. I bathed on Halifrey's suggestion and then went to her room to find Bel at her bedside. I replaced him keeping vigil. He had to remind me to eat, bringing meals when I had not appeared to dinner for days. I was so worried about Bryn. I straightened her body on the bed, as she had collapsed in a heap after dragging herself to her room. I slept beside her, my hand over her heart every night so I might feel if it stopped. I begged for her to come back. It was Bel who suggested that I ask her to be my mate- I protested saying that I did not know her feelings on the matter, but he simply told me to look at what she had done for me. When she woke up, I felt a relief that I have never felt, even after my own near-death experiences. Bryn, I discovered, meant more than my own life."

Odin nodded, "Loki, I hope you realise how lucky you are to have discovered that. I do not know that I fully appreciated Frigga until she was lost to me."

Loki replied, "I don't think I fully appreciated Mother, either, until she was gone. I still do not fully understand how she came back to us."

"Nor ever will you. The Witch is poweful...and yes, I know who she is. Asgard's sorceresses do not give up their secrets lightly. You will have truly earned her trust to learn what magic was used and where it came from."

Loki smiled a little as he wondered what Odin knew of Frigga's magic and realised that Brynja had always been very open with him about where her spells came from. He felt very lucky to be held in such high confidence by her.

A guard approached and knelt, "A message, sir, from Vanaheim. Hogun seeks information on the situation in Jotunheim."

Odin rose, "It has been good to talk to you, Loki, without it being a confrontation. As we move forward, perhaps we will have more of these conversations."

Loki rose with him and bowed shallowly before he thanked Odin for breakfast and left.

Frigga, meanwhile, had gathered her granddaughters, managed to get them both dressed and fed, and brought them to their new chambers. Frigga sat on the steps in the sunlight as the girls ran from room to room, dragging their mother behind them, exploring the patterns on the tapestries and shouting in excitement about where they wanted to place their bed and how amazing it was to have their own bathroom, no matter which room they were in. It was this chaos that Loki observed when he returned to the room. Soon he was caught up in it, Katja grabbing his hand to show him all the things she had already shown Brynja. Brynja sat down next to Frigga, laughing as Sunny joined the game, chattering over her sister, bounding from room to room, both girls now dragging Loki from drape to drape, often tugging him in different directions. He laughed and let them spin him around, hoping not to become dizzy.

Brynja turned to her mother, "Aren't they delightful to watch? He was like this with them in Jotunheim, too."

Frigga was smiling as she watched Loki and the children, "Oh yes, he needs to play more often. His own childhood had so little of it once Thor was training to be a great warrior and you were hidden away."

Brynja sighed, "I hate to interrupt it, but we really do need to get this furniture in place before we actually need it- I have to have my own clothes, and I am sure that Loki would like to have his at some point as well. And we all need beds for tonight."

Frigga grinned knowingly, "I don't suppose you need another bed, do you?"

Brynja blushed a little, "No, mother, the girls can share the smaller bed and Loki and I will share the larger."

Frigga rose, "I thought so. I should probably tend to my daily queenly duties. Please, ask if you need anything...especially if you want someone to take the girls for a few hours so you both can celebrate your freedoms. A grandmother always enjoys spending time with her grandchildren, no matter the reason."

Not long after Frigga left, Katja dropped down next to her mother, "So...when are you and Loki going to get married?"

The question caused Loki to stumble as Sunny twirled him through the room; Brynja answered, "We haven't even discussed that possibility, Katja. Let us at least settle in before you start matchmaking, love."

Katja winked as she skipped off to rejoin the dance, "Oh, the match has been made already!"

Sunny called from across the room, "And he likes your hair! So do I!"

Brynja blushed and waved as Loki was pushed in her direction, "Oh really?"

Loki stumbled towards her and collapsed on the stairs, breathing heavily, "Oh yes, really. You're beautiful, my dear." He gestured for the girls to go play without him, "Give me some time to breathe, ladies, I'll be back in a little while...perhaps we can convince your mother to join the dance."

The children cheered and Brynja slid her arm around Loki's shoulders, happy as he rested against her.

A few days later, after everyone felt like they had slept enough to make up for the challenges of the long and emotional journey back to Asgard, Frigga insisted on taking the girls for a walk in the gardens and keeping them through the night to allow Brynja and Loki time to themselves. Loki disappeared after lunch and Brynja tossed herself on her bed with a book, her legs crossed one over the other, the skirt of her light green sundress falling down by her hips. She was by herself and valued comfort over propriety.

She hardly heard Loki enter, the door clicking shut softly behind him. He stood with his hands behind his back, but she knew he was casting an illusion, albeit a very very good one. She could not tell what he was hiding. She watched as he stepped into the room and his illusion played itself out. He reached into his chest and pulled out a blackened, barely beating heart and knelt down, holding it up on his palms as he had done with his crown. A figure in a long purple robe approached and took the heart in hands, gently caressing it. His eyes closed. The figure breathed into the heart and it began to change from black to red, the beat strengthening. The figure brought him to standing and carefully placed his heart back where it belonged, the hole sealed with a touch. The figures both faded as they kissed to reveal Loki standing near the door with a large bowl of wildflowers in his hands. He approached Brynja and offered them to her.

She stepped from the bed and took the flowers, "They're beautiful, Loki, just like your enchantment. What is the occasion?"

He followed her to the steps and she set the bowl on the top step, centred, "I spoke to your father this afternoon. I asked him...I asked him a very important question." He paused and she draped her arms around his neck, waiting for him to continue, "I asked Odin to permit me to court you...not that I believe that decision isn't up to you, but you have this brother and I'd like to avoid being beaten to a pulp for not doing things precisely in the right order."

She laughed, "Loki, darling...that's wonderful news. I hardly think we need a long courtship, though- what do you think?"

Loki smiled as he pulled her tight against him, "I think it's all a formality to make sure that your brother doesn't pummel me to death when he finds out we're this close." He brought the little leather pocket out from under his shirt and removed it from around his neck, "Thank you, by the way, for this. You didn't know when you gave it to me, but it kept me strong when I needed it most." She slipped the letter out of the pocket and read it, pressing it to her heart after. She slipped it in the pocket of her sundress and kissed him. When their lips parted, he asked, "Do you remember Katja's question from our first day here?"

Brynja nodded, "Of course. Don't feel pressured by her, though, she's just enthusiastic about the changes in our lives."

Loki nuzzled her nose, "Do you think you might...I mean in a few years...is there a chance...?" he stammered.

Brynja whispered, "Just say the words, Loki. Say the words I've been waiting to hear for so many years."

"I love you, Brynja. With every inch of my being," he replied.

She beamed, "I love you, too, Loki. And yes, when we're ready, the answer is yes."

He kissed her again. She responded in kind. They did not stop until late that night, her sundress discarded on the floor, his clothing beside it, the little leather strap from the letter's pocket peeking out of the pile. She had faded off to sleep before him, though he was not far behind. Fighting sleep for only a few more moments, he stroked her bare shoulder, the glow from the moonlight a halo around her peacefully sleeping body. He had no words to describe his emotions. He had found bliss in her arms and a feeling of contentment he never wanted to lose. He pulled himself as close to her as he could get, their legs tangled under the sheets, and kissed her cheek before drifting into sleep. He felt better than he had even as a king, well knowing that he had finally found the adoration and love he had been longing for in a family, not in ruling a realm, and so long as he loved them well, he would keep it far longer than he could have ever kept any kingdom.

 


End file.
